A Lady Making it Happen: It’s all about Attitude

Also available here:  https://www.mindsinsync.co.za/index.php/2015/08/06/a-lady-making-it-happen-its-all-about-attitude/ 

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, my husband is my best friend and an amazing inspiration. Where I am an absolute workaholic, he is incredibly passionate about his gym and his figurine collection; Superman, Spiderman, Dead Pool, Marvel, DC, you name it!! We each have our strengths and weaknesses, and yet we complement one another. When I become a stress bunny, he knows to stand his ground, but take a step back in the heat of the moment.

When he stresses (which he will never admit to!) he becomes a “grump-a-saurus” and I learn to handle him with kid gloves. Over the past 4 years we have only ever once gone to bed angry at one another and we’ve made it a rule to never do that again. Otherwise, the hurt, the anger and the misunderstanding has this nasty habit of festering. Eventually that feeling turns into resentment and rather than having addressed the issue up front, you find yourself angry at the other person for what was most likely a silly, trivial thing.

Any case, this post is not about my husband. Rather, he has once more inspired me! Whilst walking through the streets of Leon, Spain one morning during the course of last week (very glam I know!), he mentioned to me: “You like writing and blogging, but your writing is very broad. Same as my thesis [he is completing his MBA thesis at the moment]; I still need to become more specific in order to reach my target audience.” I.E the academics whom will be grading the paper once it’s finished.

He continued, “In your case, you are young but you are a lady and not a girl. You have experienced a lot for your age and you actually have a lot to share with other women in the world about how you managed to get to where you are now. The things you have gone through most people are scared to even attempt. You have built and managed an all-girl team. You have built an incredibly successful and profitable business from scratch within a 2 year period, with absolute minimal initial funding. And you have not given up. Why not share that with other women? Or even, managers who might not know how to handle their female staff? You never know what audience you might reach.”

I looked at him, a huge grin on my face, and thanked him for his brilliant idea. It’s true; we all tend to forget how much we have each achieved in our lives. Remember: you are not the only person who might have experienced a particular situation. There are many individuals out there who are probably experiencing the same “pain”, struggling to handle a certain scenario and it’s amazing what a little guidance here and there might do!

So, without this becoming a feminist article, I’d like to share some of my experiences over the past 4 to 5 years of becoming a successful female entrepreneur in this globalised, exciting and daunting world! In this post I will focus on what I believe to be the first, most essential component to getting things off the ground. This key component is unmistakably one of the most highly regarded “ingredients” to becoming an entrepreneur and/or success in the world, in my opinion.

My hubby and I are currently in Spain because a long-time friend of mine, whom I studied with in London, recently got married! Woohoo! This friend of mine is from my London days (2008 to 2010), when I worked and studied in the United Kingdom. The opportunity to catch up and see her family once again has been amazing thus far. My husband and I barely know a few Spanish phrases, enough to get around, and have had to learn to use multiple hand signals in an attempt to overcome the language barrier. This has been quite a lesson for us thus far. Needless to say, our kiddies will one day definitely be learning a second language like French, Spanish or possibly even Mandarin!

Getting back on track, the evening before the wedding my hubby and I attended a lovely, relaxed get-together at a small cosy, rustic restaurant in the streets of Leon, Spain, where we thoroughly enjoyed a wide variety of delicious and very fattening Tapas. There were roughly 40 English and Spanish speaking friends of the soon-to-be-married couple in attendance. Although incredibly chilly that evening, everyone was in high spirits, in anticipation of the wedding the next day!

During the course of the evening I was immersed in conversation with a previous London friend, speaking about what it takes to be/become an entrepreneur. This lady is in fact a fellow South African whom recently became a British Citizen after many years of living and working in the UK. As she and I were chatting, it really got me thinking about what it takes to become an entrepreneur. It is actually quite simple really, yet so many struggle with the concept. For example, how many times have people said to you: “I’ve got this great idea!”, or “you know that new thing Company ABC came out with? I actually thought of that first!”

The truth is that many people do think of the same idea first, BUT they don’t make that idea a reality. As Nike coined it and in my opinion the most important component and first step towards becoming an entrepreneur is to “Just do It”! However, many, many people become bogged down with a whole range of self-sabotaging thoughts. For example:

1. Before you are able to “just do it”, what comes first?
2. What does it mean to “just do it”?
3. What if it doesn’t work out?
4. What if this isn’t the right time?
5. What if the market turns and there is another recession?
6. What if people don’t like my product?
7. What if I can’t get myself out there no matter how many times I try?
8. What if…….???

As I recently mentioned to a couple of very close friends of mine, the first most CRUCIAL thing to becoming a success is your Mind-Set. No challenge is insurmountable if you have a solutions-focused way of thinking! Secondly, touching on one of the comments in the previous paragraph, there is a recession pretty much every 5 to 10 years. Basing your decision on whether or whether not the market may turn would be silly. Rather, you need to be asking yourself:

1. What can you do to anticipate the next recession (and/or next obstacle)?
2. What market are you going after where you can ensure there will always be a need for your service offering?
3. How will you differentiate yourself?
4. And, what is your consumer “I can’t do without” value add?

When I first started building my first company I was petrified (side note: I say my “first” company because I already know that I will be the owner of many, many companies). I knew that I could do it and that I was pretty good at recruitment, but I still doubted myself. So, instead of thinking about the possibility of failure, I threw myself into it. I don’t know how or why, but somehow I knew that if I thought about the possibility of failure I might just give up. I definitely do still have my husband to thank for all his support.

For the first 6 months I spent each and every day building up my pipeline of candidates and clients, involved in constant business development. In fact, I grew my client base beyond what I could actually manage and I accelerated sales to get the cash flow going. After all, all the greats of the business world will tell you that if you want to be a success, then you’ve got to be/become a sales person. If you don’t believe in and sell your product, then how can you expect others to share your vision?

There were many times where I thought to myself, “Holy cow what have I got myself into?!” Even recent, interesting and incredibly challenging events in my life have made me question my resolve. But, what kept me going was my Mind Set.

In the beginning I often had to tell myself: “I can do this! I can do this! I can do this!” It quickly became my mantra and instilled within me as a belief. Contrary to what many may think, having the right mind set is not something you are born with. It is something you have to nurture and develop. One day can be the most beautiful, successful day and the next day gloom and doom strikes out of the blue. Also, if you are an impatient person like me, you want everything to happen NOW!

I’m pretty sure that old Richard Branson didn’t just pop out as a baby and suddenly go: “Mommy! I’m going to be one of the richest, most successful entrepreneurs of the 20th and the 21st centuries! You just watch out!” It probably took years and years of mistakes and “failures” until he achieved success. Most likely, whether early on or later in his career, he saw each failure as an incredibly valuable lesson. With each lesson, his business prowess grew and grew.

In the world of female businesswomen, the challenges can be more difficult. Trying to maintain a positive, driven attitude can be incredibly frustrating. Although the divide between men and women is shrinking, more rapidly in developed versus developing countries, there is still often the feeling of not being taken seriously and being patronised, knowing that the salary divide is very much a reality and being incredibly aware of the pressures of maintaining a family-life, work-life balance. But there is always a way.

My advice to you: if you want something badly enough, then every time you say, “If I….” or “What if…”, you need to catch yourself. Immediately thereafter you need to say to yourself, “When I…”.

Achieving success is not a “what if” story. It’s about when. In all goal-setting academic literature (or otherwise), a goal is an attainable, specific, measureable and time-based thing. If you don’t treat your goals the same way as you would any type of plan or project which you are obligated to complete, then your goals are already doomed.

For example, I know that I will be a millionaire and, in time, a billionaire. I’ve already made that resolution to myself. Now it is just a matter of time. And I talk about it often. I tell people: I will be a millionaire by 30 and a billionaire by 40. I’m not boasting, I’m just resolute. I know it is going to take a lot of hard work and I’m also definitely not 100% sure of exactly how I will get there, but I can see it in my mind and it most certainly won’t be through hand-outs. I imagine and I visualise each thing I am working towards because that is where your inner power comes from. If you can see it, you can believe it.

Coming to the conclusion of this post, anyone can become a success and/or an entrepreneur. It definitely does not take a genius and you would be amazed at how many listed companies are owned by people who weren’t necessarily the brightest or the sharpest. But, they had an idea they refused to give up on. It was that idea, their vision, and their tenacity which got them to where they are today.

Self-doubt is poison. It is a form of fear and it eats you up inside. The second you start doubting yourself it is simply a matter of time before you re-join the slog and grind because you “just couldn’t quite make it” or “the recession killed my business”. There are many reasons why businesses fail, but I can tell you right now the most important question you need to ask yourself is:

Is the captain steering this ship a believer, 200% committed to the task at hand and has a crystal clear vision as to where the ship is headed?

If not, then you are already dead in the water.

If you want something, you got to WAKE UP! Get yourself out of a negative frame of mind, thinking that you are just another little lemming trying to make it in the world. You are the only person that can put the doubt out of your mind.Don’t think about “if”, think about “when”. Live it, believe it and work towards it. You are your own tormentor and your own saviour. It is up to you to choose which way to go. If it doesn’t work out, re-asses, learn from the mistakes and continue looking for the opportunities beyond!

In the words of Oprah Winfrey, a woman that is an inspiration to millions (if not billions) and the epitome of success:

“What other people label or might try to call failure, I have learned is just God’s way of pointing you in a new direction”

And…

“Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire.”