Ladies! Here is the Secret to Gaining Confidence and Asking for More.??
Alison Maloni
Storyteller and Speaker | Owner of Alison May Communications | Anchor & Contributor on Newsmax TV | Bestselling Author
Women have made incredible strides in the workplace, entrepreneurship, and leadership roles. Yet, one of the most common challenges many still face is the hesitation to ask for what they truly want—whether it’s a promotion, a salary increase, or more flexibility in their work-life balance. Why does this happen, and how can we change it?
The answer lies in building confidence. Confidence isn’t something we’re born with, it’s something we cultivate. And once we do, it opens doors we never thought possible.
1. Understanding the Power of Asking
First, it’s essential to recognize that asking is not a weakness—it’s a powerful tool. Studies have shown that women often shy away from asking for more out of fear of rejection or appearing too demanding. But the reality is, opportunities rarely fall into our laps. Those who achieve the most often get there because they’ve asked for what they deserve.
So, how do we tap into that power?
2. Change the Narrative
Women are often taught, directly or indirectly, to be modest, avoid confrontation, or wait for recognition. It’s time to change that narrative. You don’t need to apologize for wanting more or feel like you’re asking too much. When you have put in the work, you deserve the reward. It’s not about being aggressive; it’s about being assertive.
Instead of saying, "I was wondering if it might be possible to discuss my salary," try, "I’ve been contributing at a high level and would like to discuss my compensation."
3. Prepare to Succeed
Preparation is critical to gaining the confidence to ask. Know your worth and clearly understand what you want before you ask for it. Gather data to support your case—whether it’s metrics about your performance, industry standards for pay, or examples of the value you bring to your company or clients.
When you walk into that conversation with a solid foundation of facts, it’s easier to feel confident in your request. Confidence comes from knowing you’ve done your homework.
"Confidence comes from knowing you’ve done your homework." - Alison Maloni
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4. Reframe Rejection
Fear of rejection can keep women from asking for what they want. But rejection doesn’t have to be a roadblock—it can be a stepping stone. If the answer is no, treat it as a chance to learn. Ask for feedback, reassess your strategy, and prepare to try again. Every "no" is another step toward the eventual "yes."
5. Build a Support Network
Confidence grows when you have a solid support system. Surround yourself with people who encourage you to advocate for yourself. This could be mentors, colleagues, or fellow women in your industry who have successfully navigated similar challenges. Lean on them for advice and encouragement. There is strength in numbers; sometimes, we just need that extra push from someone who believes in us.
6. Own Your Success
Many women struggle with imposter syndrome—the feeling that they don’t truly deserve their accomplishments. It’s time to own your success. Remind yourself of the value you bring to the table. Keep track of your achievements and celebrate your wins. When you recognize your worth, asking for what you deserve becomes much easier.
7. Practice Makes Perfect
Like anything else, asking for what you want takes practice. Start with smaller requests in everyday situations—whether asking for a table in a restaurant, negotiating a better deal, or asking for help. The more you practice advocating for yourself in smaller moments, the more natural it will feel when it’s time to make more significant asks.
8. Leverage Your Unique Strengths
Women often bring a unique perspective to leadership, problem-solving, and team dynamics. Embrace those strengths. Confidence doesn’t mean mimicking traditional male models of success—it means finding your voice and style. Leverage your emotional intelligence, collaborative spirit, and adaptability. Use these traits to your advantage when asking for what you want.
The Confidence to Create Change
When women gain the confidence to ask for what they want, they change their lives and inspire others to do the same. Whether you’re asking for a promotion, a new opportunity, or simply more recognition for your hard work, remember this: You deserve to be heard.
Confidence is a muscle that strengthens with use. Start small, build your case, reframe rejection, and most importantly, trust in your worth. The more you ask, the more you’ll realize how much you can achieve.
Founder at BiggiePug
1 个月It really does come down to confidence without it. You haven’t a chance.
Product Drafting Checker at Mestek, Inc.
1 个月Very informative Alison!
Do your best.
1 个月Holly Rhue Leslie Elle Rhue