Lacrosse, Skittles and Catching People Doing Things Right

In January, over cocktails, a friend casually asked me if I had considered coaching my daughter’s lacrosse team.? (I emotionally? heard it as “Camille, you need to coach.) We often connected over her kids' love for the sport.? She lamented, with her youngest of three now in college, that coaching was one of the best things she had done as a parent. ? I smiled, admired her commitment, and agreed that it was a great sport.? Deep inside, I was laser-clear and the scream sounded something like:? “No way in hell am I taking on any more responsibilities, is she bat $hit crazy?” ? Sure, I coach professionally, but that doesn’t make me a good sports coach.

Several days later, she followed up and said, “I know you’re considering coaching, so just know that I have seven years of practice plans saved for you when you are ready.”? She had a deep sense of knowing that it would happen.? Apparently, I was the only one who had not gotten that memo.??

A few months later, I caught myself off guard when I casually mentioned to my daughter's coach that I’d be willing to help out albeit in a really small way, as an assistant to the assistant coach.? As I gently reiterated my concerns about commitment, he graciously welcomed me into the team.? With no pressure and minimal expectations, I felt at ease stepping into this new role.??

I had no idea that going to lacrosse practice could feel like going to church. These three dads had been coaching their daughters' team for nearly five years.? They complimented one another seamlessly, modeled collaboration, communicated with grace, and lived from a place of positivity.? Practice was about positivity, kindness, . . . and skittles.

From day one, the optimism and energy that the head coach brought to the team were gob-smacking. With girls who had never picked up a stick and weren’t necessarily athletic, he displayed a remarkable ability to instill confidence in them. He made them feel valued for who they were, celebrated their dedication to attending practices, and encouraged their learning process.???

Catch People Doing Things Right

After our first game, he invited each girl to share something positive they had noticed about another teammate. Hands shot up, and the girls fell in step—eager to out-compliment one another. They started catching each other, taking small steps, and doing things right.

Tailor Drills to Skills

Extra coaches meant smaller groups that more specifically targeted girls where they were. ? Aiming for incremental progress, we broke into groups and found ways that each participant could up-level, ensuring each person got what they needed. ? Our goal was to challenge and stretch everyone while simultaneously creating an environment where all could experience success and growth, regardless of their starting point.?

Reinforce Teamwork

The coach would set a goal for the number of consecutive passes completed with the reward of one skittle per girl.? That’s correct; a singular skittle got 20 girls aligned and excited.??? What they really wanted was to support one another and have a manageable goal. Together, they worked on executing a certain number of passes to earn a skittle.?

Be Linger-able

Not only were they getting exponentially better, but after practice officially ended, the girls rarely wanted to leave.? Like eager kids ourselves, we all stayed on the field, excited to take a few more shots on goal.? The enthusiasm was palpable to the players, the adults, and anyone passing by the field.? After three games one morning, my daughter returned to practice outside

Fresh eyes for what is possible?

As I fell in love again with a sport I hadn’t played in 21 years, I realized that I was also falling in love with the person I was becoming on the field. I was expanding, engaging, and interacting differently. I was seeing my daughter through new eyes, marveling at her growth and falling even more deeply in love with the young lady she is becoming.?

This experience has reminded me that when we come together with a shared purpose, a positive outlook, and a willingness to support one another, there is no limit to what we can achieve. There is great potential when we show up in service, we engage in teamwork and we remember to meet people where they are.?

When given the opportunity to grow, extraordinary possibilities lie within each of us.? Remarkable achievements often stem from those gentle nudges toward what, at first, may appear unattainable.? Sometimes we show up to “serve others” and we realize we all benefit. It demonstrates what we are capable of.

I started...

Looking forward to practice

Seeing my daughter in new ways, with new eyes - falling even more in love

Learning to parent, lead, engage - and interact differently?

I saw optimism in action.

Flourishing happens when we celebrate the good. These guys coach on the side in the evening out of a love for their kids, the ripple will be for years to come

Laurens Goff Caleb Taylor Williams Doug Brown

Skittles Mars Wrigley