Lack of Self-Trust Torpedoes Your Leadership Efforts

Trust Yourself So You Lead Better, and Go Bigger

"Trust me, you can dance." - Vodka

Attributed humorously to vodka, this quote implies that after consuming alcohol, some of us feel more confident and uninhibited, believing we can dance well even if we typically lack confidence in our dancing abilities. It humorously highlights the idea that self-trust can sometimes be bolstered by external factors, even if temporarily, and suggests that sometimes we need a little external encouragement or loosening of inhibitions to believe in ourselves and our abilities.

As leaders, we know that a steadfast and non-negotiable cornerstone of effective leadership is trust. It's like an invisible thread that weaves through every interaction, decision, and vision. When trust is compromised, the foundation of leadership crumbles, leaving behind a trail of uncertainty and disarray. A leader who inspires trust instills confidence in their team, fostering an environment where individuals feel empowered to take risks, share ideas, and pursue bold visions.

But what of Self-Trust – specifically - what if, at your core, you really don’t trust yourself?

When it comes to your personal track record on adhering to boundaries, the health of your finances, relationships, wellness, or on vices like overspending or overworking…

Do you have absolute integrity with yourself?

Do you keep your promises to yourself?

Do you trust that you will do what you say you will do, for yourself?

For many of us, at our core, the resounding answer is No, No, and No…

How lack of self-trust impacts your leadership effectiveness and capabilities

"Self-trust is the first secret of success." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Before we talk about being respected as successful leaders, we must consider that being effective in any aspect of life requires a strong foundation of self-trust. Without self-trust, we may find ourselves stuck in a cycle of doubt, fear, and indecision, unable to build resilience, confidence, and a sense of empowerment to navigate life's challenges. We may struggle to make decisions, take risks, or pursue any goals with confidence.

The implications are compelling -

• Decision-making becomes challenging: we second-guess our choices, leading to indecision, hesitancy, and hindered progress.
• Risk-taking is limited: Trusting ourselves is crucial for taking calculated risks and stepping outside of our comfort zone. Without self-trust, we may fear failure or doubt our abilities, leading to a reluctance to take risks and missed opportunities for growth and development.
• Confidence is compromised: Without self-trust, confidence may waver, leading to self-doubt and insecurity.
• Goal attainment is hindered: Without self-trust, we may struggle to set realistic goals or stay committed to our aspirations and never reach our full potential.
• Relationships may suffer: Trusting ourselves is fundamental for building and maintaining healthy relationships. Without self-trust, we may rely excessively on others for validation or approval, leading to codependent behaviors. This can strain relationships and hinder personal growth.

This then cascades into our leadership style and has significant implications for organizational culture and goal achievement.

As leaders, lack of self-trust manifests in second guessing and constantly questioning decisions, actions, or judgment (even after making them), secretly feeling paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes or failing and relying heavily on others' opinions or seeking approval for choices and actions rather than trusting your own instincts.

It can also manifest in setting impossibly high standards for yourself and the team and impacts culture when everyone begins to feel inadequate or disappointed when they inevitably fall short, or overwhelmed or unable to make decisions, big or small, or constantly criticized. We have all had that one leader talking about “No Fail” missions…and felt our heart constrict in our chest.

Strategies to help you build trust in yourself

"Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do." - Benjamin Spock

Overcoming a lack of self-trust requires patience, self-awareness, and intentional practice. Here are some strategies to help you build trust in yourself or work with an executive coach to master:

1. Develop Self-Awareness: Take time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Identify any patterns or beliefs that may be contributing to your lack of trust in yourself.
2. Challenge Negative Beliefs: Challenge negative self-talk and limiting beliefs that undermine your confidence. Replace them with positive affirmations and realistic self-appraisals.
3. Set Realistic Goals: Break larger goals into smaller, achievable steps. Celebrate your progress along the way and recognize that setbacks are a natural part of the learning process.
4. Take Action: Instead of letting fear or doubt hold you back, take action toward your goals, even if it means stepping outside of your comfort zone. Each small success will help build your confidence.
5. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when faced with setbacks or failures. Remember that making mistakes is a normal part of growth and learning.
6. Trust Your Intuition: Pay attention to your gut feelings and inner wisdom. Trust that you have the knowledge and experience to make informed decisions and be willing to listen to your intuition.
7. Cultivate Resilience: Develop resilience by learning from setbacks and bouncing back stronger. Focus on solutions rather than dwelling on problems, and view challenges as opportunities for growth.
8. Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive friends, family members, or mentors who believe in you and encourage your personal growth. Share your struggles and successes with them and ask for help when needed.
9. Practice Self-Care: Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Prioritize activities that nourish and recharge you, such as exercise, meditation, hobbies, and spending time with loved ones.
10. Celebrate Your Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Recognize your strengths and accomplishments and use them as evidence of your ability to trust yourself.

In closing, trust is the lifeblood of leadership. Self-trust is imperative. It is crucial for leaders to develop self-trust through self-awareness, continuous learning, and a willingness to take risks and learn from failures before you can truly excel elsewhere. Trust is the glue that holds teams together, the fuel that powers innovation, and the catalyst for transformational change.

As Henry Cloud once said, "Trust is not something you have; it's something you do." As leaders, it is our responsibility to nurture trust, both within ourselves and among our teams, to unlock the full potential of our organizations - and our lives.

Stacey...

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