Lack of Recognition. How to solve it once and for all.

Surely at least once you have been in either of these two situations, or both:

·      Thinking your boss does not recognize you enough.

·      Thinking your employees complain too much that you do not recognize them enough.

Before I offer you my proposed solution, I ask you:

What is it with recognition in the first place? Why do people need it at all?

Hard as it may be to admit, the true reason we yearn recognition is to feed our own egos. The word recognition has a lot to do with acknowledging, legitimizing, examining, giving credit. We have been taught from a very early age to be egoistic, we therefore seek a recognition or a prize after everything “good” we do, and we are convinced that that goodness should be obvious and appreciated in the same way by everyone around us.  Net, we somehow need others to legitimize us, to recognize us and by way of doing so, acknowledging our existence in their world.

?What is the problem with asking for recognition?

You see, the problem is that the people around us were also taught to be egoistic, and their ego will get in the way of recognizing you. That is why a well-known philosopher says that if you intentionally seek recognition, and worse, even ask for it, you will most likely get criticism instead of recognition.

In the workplace and in every aspect of life, we ought to do and share as if we do not expect anything in return. Only then recognition arrives profusely, from many places and people as if an act of magic. This is a tremendous endeavor because it implies telling our ego to surrender, it implies letting go of the need to please the boss and others. It also means letting go of other things such as: the need to impress the directors, the need to put up a show every time you are asked to provide an update, the urge to look busy all the time and stay until very late, the compulsion to defend your point of view and be right all the time and being the one that speaks the most and the loudest, the need to make others look bad as long as you look good.

Can it be done? Can you work, live and do things expecting zero recognition?

You are probably thinking that you can make an effort and surrender your ego a little bit, but there would be no point because the world around you won’t change, your colleagues and your boss won’t change. The corporate world around you will continue to be mostly about judging and about punishment and rewards. You fear becoming a ghost, lose to the competition, and this is too scary. Who said it wouldn’t be? but remember: do not ask or beg for recognition and it will come, ask and it will not. Try telling this to a random person who does not know you well: “Tell me I am pretty”, look at their face as you do so... there: I rest my case.

What can I do as a people manager?

If you are a people manager, you are by now starting to realize the challenge you have ahead of you: if people do not make an effort to impress you so that you recognize them… How will you know when they are doing well or not? If people are not competing and back-stabbing each other for your recognition… How will you get the most out of them?

Dear people manager, as a colleague and coach, I am going to recommend one of the most powerful tools that ever existed: GRATITUDE. When your people say you do not recognize them enough, they really mean you are ungrateful. That you do not notice and acknowledge what they do, that you only focus on the end result of the project and do not bother to thank them along the way.  

The manager who taught you how to be a manager probably told you that gratitude and recognition were the same. He probably also taught you that recognizing too often and too much “makes them go soft and lazy”. He also told you that “you do not recognize people for doing what is part of their job in the first place”. Well, he was wrong, gratitude and recognition are not the same, and gratitude never has negative effects, it motivates people a great deal, and you can never have enough of it.

Recognition is a more of prepared, well-thought out act, people expect it to be public and to have some kind of reward or prize with it. But the simple act of saying a sincere “thank you”, goes a very long way. You can do it anywhere, anytime, with no preparation at all, no special meeting, no fanfare, no expensive gifts or useless tokens to display on desks. Just say thanks when you feel like saying it, do not be scared. When you feel it is right, recognize too, and when you do so, be fair, be objective, and of course! be generous.

So, to sum it all up, here is the solution I propose to the original problem:

·      Thinking your boss does not recognize you enough?

People: Do not ask or beg for recognition and it will come, ask for it and you will get criticism instead.

·      Thinking your employees complain too much that you do not recognize them enough?

Bosses: When they say you do not recognize them enough, they really mean you are an ungrateful son of a gun. Say thank you more often.

I hope you enjoyed reading. If you liked it recommend and/or share. My ego needs it.

Until the next one.

RICARDO LAREZ, Life Coach and Career Consultant.