Labels are for products, not people

Some weeks ago, Stéphane Bonutto and I could reconnect. We first met, when I acted as leadership sponsor for the Sandoz LGBTIQ* ERG in 2018. By then, he reached out to me when he saw the impact created and award-winning recognition this ERG received externally. Out first meeting took place in the lobby of a hotel at Zurich airport. In his own style, he dressed gender-freely. Skirt, high-heels, blouse, make-up etc. Loads of people passed by and during the dinner I noticed that a lot were actually looking at him/us. In that moment, I was wondering what is going through their minds. As I didn’t ask, I will never find out. And actually, it shouldn’t matter. But still, did they label him, us? Maybe! Although I believe “labels are for products, not for people”. (Coca-Cola) Since many things happened, changed. And I used our latest reconnection to interview him. To learn more about his drivers/motives, his perspective, his vision, his wishes. But please see yourself:?

TE: When did your interest for DE&I start, Stéphane?

SB: It started early, as I was born in Greece with my immediate family having French, Italian, Dutch and Belgian origins. Therefore, I grew up culturally diverse and this was the starting point of my interest in Diversity & Inclusion. And the older I got, the more dimensions came to it, such as dressing gender-freely. ?

TE: Dressing gender-freely, what does it actually mean? ?

SB: I see myself as a CIS-man who wears many fashion items that we stereotypically allocate to women. This said, my intention was neither to pass as a woman, nor to transition to another gender. ?Gender-free styling means to beak the norms of dressing so that anyone can dress like he/she/they want, regardless of if it’s originally designed for men or women.

TE: Does this mean you are a cross-dresser?

SB: No, this is not how I define myself. Cross-dressing would mean a barrier between the dress styles of the different genders, while my intention is to abolish these barriers. Many men from different cultures wore in the past and still wear skirts or cloths that resembles dresses. Women have been wearing all kind of clothes for decades, look at Marlene Dietrich and her Tuxedo. And many celebrate her style. So, it’s time to celebrate it in a reciprocal way, this means a straight man with heels in a business environment to express creativity. At the end it is about bringing my true self to work. And sometimes I do it in a suit and sometimes in a skirt with heels.

TE: Let’s check on your style?

Skirt or dress? More often skirts, although I love dresses. Skirts more because I can have even more different combinations.

Sneakers or high heels? I love both, more a question of mood. Heels provide a strong standing, sneakers show a spirit of speed.

Lipstick or lip balm? I like to wear a slight make-up in general, since it is part of my skin care and since it enhances our presentation, especially on teleconferences. Lipstick is part of it, but usually in light, non-distracting colours.

Gold or silver? Clearly silver. It fits better to my skin type.

At the end, I wear what I fancy on that day. It is totally mixed and I do not exclude anything.

TE: How do people react when they see your uniqueness aka gender-free dressing style?

SB: The vast majority of people reacts positively. Very cool. However, I am not shy to enter in to a critical dialogue if the reaction is not so positive. It is essential to help people understand the why of this uniqueness, and to have a chance to turn around their opinion. Everyone is unique. And thank you, as I prefer the term “unique” over “diverse”, since I find it more positive and empowering. I am also aware about the “glass ceiling” effect. We hardly receive true information about potential career limiting aspects of our personality and I am aware of the risk I may have taken with my uniqueness. On the other hand, the experience I have made and the people I have had the privilege to meet largely compensate the potential disadvantages I may have incurred.

TE: Besides the gender-free dressing, what does make you special?

SB: Loads I believe – I am a unique person like you. I place a lot of attention and value on the human being in business, in order to show true respect to people. At the same time I like achieve great results for the organization too. This is maybe not necessary a primary attribute of people working in financial management, which is precisely the reason why I strive to combine both focusses in business. During my professional experience, I have had the chance to build up and to rebuild professional teams by showing a real empathy to my team members, in the sense of understanding what motivates people and where they are best at. Doing this, my teams have given me the feedback that this corresponds to what they call true support. I feel proud that my teams have achieved great results and that individuals could grow their personality and their responsibility through my management style.

TE: What is the one key message you would like to convey?

SB: Be daring, be unique, be yourself. There is no reason why you should leave a part of your personality in a closet.

TE: If there is one thing that you could change right away – what would it be and how would you do this?

SB: I cannot stand intolerance and the unacceptable actions taken by people on this basis. One of my greatest wishes is to always find the right words to turn intolerant people around. I recognize this takes a lot of energy and determination. Let’s keep our batteries loaded at all times!

TE: Thanks so much for sharing your story, your wishes and your vision. Having amazing people like you sharing their story will help to create higher-level awareness and more acceptance for any uniqueness. ?