Labelling Divides, Listening Builds Bridges

Have you noticed how much and how often we label others?

It is easier to place people in neat categories—labels that we believe define others’ values, intentions, or intelligence. Whether it's generational terms like "Boomer" and "Gen Z," political identities like “right-wing” and “woke”, gender, race, personalities, religion, or even viewpoints on contentious topics like vaccines or reproductive rights, labels serve as quick identifiers.

But with this mental shortcut comes a risk: these labels can build walls instead of bridges, fostering division. It can oversimplify our understanding of others, lead to assumptions, biases and stereotypes, and stifles real dialogue. At its worst, labels can dehumanise others, cause us to believe that they are ‘enemies’ and we stop listening to them completely.

Listening with genuine openness and curiosity is the antidote that can bridge divides. And it is sorely needed in our polarised world.

Why We Label People

Since labels are shortcuts, it’s likely that we use them due to being time poor and rushed. It’s a quick way to attempt to understand or describe people. However, it can also be a sign of lacking the skill or willingness to explore complex and nuanced thinking. It takes more time and effort to listen and learn.

It is also possible that we get attached to being right. It feels good to be on the ‘right side of history’, telling people to ‘wake up’, or assuming that others have been misinformed. Pride and ego can get in the way of making the effort to genuinely look for things we may have gotten wrong or seeing something useful in differences and learning from others.

The more we keep labelling and distancing ourselves from others, and not make the effort to understand and appreciate them, the division and fear of difference can grow.

The Cost of Labelling

Lower willingness to collaborate and learn: This article was prompted by a recent article by Professor Gary Martin FAIM on generational labels like “Baby Boomers” or “Gen Z” which can lead to stereotyping, ageism, and generational bias. Millennials may be pegged as "entitled," while Boomers might be seen as “rigid” or “out of touch." These labels reduce the rich tapestry of individual experiences and skills into fixed ideas about how each generation operates. When such assumptions take root, they impact our willingness to connect, collaborate and learn across age groups.

Oversimplify and misunderstand others: Labels related to race, gender and other social identities often highlight historical and systemic divides, which makes them complex and charged. In workplaces where diversity is increasingly valued, it’s easy to fall back on shallow understandings of identity. For example, someone from a racial minority may face barriers that others may never have considered, but another person with a similar background may not. Add intersectionality to the mix and it becomes impossible to make shortcut assumptions about someone's experience or likely preferences.

Amplify distance: Political labels, too, are often wielded as weapons in today’s discourse, dividing people into camps, ignoring nuances and diversity within the camps, and dismissing the humanity of those on the “other side.” But politics are rarely as black-and-white as labels suggest and some people on the “other side” may not be as distant as we may perceive. Labelling amplifies confirmation bias, resulting in only seeing the extremes and differences rather than similarities.

Dismiss people and ideas: Different stances on vaccines and pandemic responses created rifts in the community and within families. What if we had made efforts to listen to understand the different perspectives rather than dismissing or censoring them too quickly? Even if we didn’t agree, we would have learned and adapted better, potentially avoided costly decisions, and developed empathy rather than judgement about the diverse experiences of different people.

Listening to Honour the Individual Behind the Label

Truly inclusive leadership involves listening to the stories of individuals and appreciating the complexity and uniqueness of each person, beyond labels and categories. It requires deep listening with genuine openness and curiosity. It means going beyond hearing words with an aim to understand and appreciate the person behind those words. When we listen openly, we discover our shared humanity, even if our perspectives differ.

Listening not only impacts our understanding of others. Research by Guy Itzchakov and Avraham Kluger even shows that high quality listening can make disagreements less damaging, and people’s attitudes become less extreme and more balanced. Leaders who listen to these experiences and approach conversations with genuine curiosity can create a culture where all voices are respected and differences and disagreements are productive.

Practical Tips for Listening to Bridge Divides

1. Acknowledge Assumptions and Biases: Before starting a conversation, be mindful of any preconceived notions you might hold based on labels or stereotypes. Approach each person as an individual and put aside assumptions wherever possible.
2. Be Curious about The Whole Person Behind the Label: Get curious about the person, their history, upbringing, background, knowledge, beliefs, values, and more, remembering that we are complex.
3. Listen and Ask Open-Ended Follow-Up Questions: Listen deeply so they feel listened to and understood. Ask questions like “How did you come to see things that way?” to learn and be open to seeing things differently.
4. Respond Thoughtfully: Instead of countering or dismissing, reflect on what the other person has shared. Respond with phrases like, “I hadn’t thought of it that way” or “I appreciate your perspective” and ask further follow-up questions.
5. Look for Commonalities as well as Differences: Whenever possible, look for commonalities and consider what you can appreciate about the differences. Shared goals, values, or aspirations can create a foundation for collaboration even when perspectives differ.

An Invitation to Listen Before Labelling

Labels are shortcuts, and while they may serve a purpose, they often do more harm than good when it comes to building authentic relationships. Quietly Powerful leaders know that listening can transform a divided team into a cohesive one, allowing everyone to feel valued and heard.

Listening builds bridges that transcend differences in gender, generation, politics, and personal beliefs. These bridges are the foundation of inclusive, resilient, and thriving organisations, families and societies—ones where people feel they will be seen, heard and respected for who they are.

Are you willing to put aside labels and listen first to start building bridges?

__________

Megumi founded Quietly Powerful (QP) which aims to expand the definition of good leadership and help quieter professionals to succeed authentically and co-founded Leaders who Listen (LwL) to amplify the quiet leadership superpower of listening. To find out more, download the first two chapters of the book “Quietly Powerful: How your quiet nature is your hidden leadership strength” and the LwL white paper "Why Don't Senior Executives Get Told What's Really Going On?"