Kurt Vonnegut, Joe Heller, and How to Think Like a Mensch

This story remains my favorite Thanksgiving message; it reminds me to be grateful for what I have and of the evils of jealousy and destructive competition. I first posted it on my work matters blog more than 10 years ago, on the day my book that my book The No Asshole Rule was published. I updated it after Vonnegut died in April, 2007 and a bit more over the years.  

The message also dovetails with my new book, The Asshole Survival Guide: How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like Dirt. One main themes is that we are all at risk of becoming temporary or certified assholes, and there are steps we can take to reduce the risk. That message reminded me of Vonnegut's Joe Heller poem, one of the last things that he published before he died. His message that reminding ourselves how much we have (rather than how much we want), that so many of us "have enough," is a timeless and a splendid message for anyone who wants to avoid behaving a selfish and greedy asshole. Here goes:

I loved Kurt Vonnnegut's books and was touched by his sweet contribution to The No Asshole Rule Rule. Vonnegut's death made me sad but his life brought me and so many others great joy. All of us die in the end, it is the living that counts -- and Vonnegut touched so many people. This is my little story.

The process of writing The No Asshole Rule entailed many fun twists and turns. But the very best thing happened when I wrote for permission to reprint a Kurt Vonnegut poem called "Joe Heller," which was published in The New Yorker.  I was hoping that Vonnegut would give me permission to print it in the book, both because I love the poem (more on that later), and Vonnegut is one my heroes. His books including Slaughterhouse Five and Breakfast of Champions had a huge effect on me when I was a teenager-- both the ideas and the writing style.

I wrote some anonymous New Yorker address to ask permission to reprint the poem, and to my amazement, I received this personal reply from Vonnegut about two weeks later. Take a look at the two sides of the postcard, it not only is in Vonnegut's handwriting and gives me permission to use it "however you please without compensation or further notice to me," the entire thing is designed by Vonnegut (and I suspect his wife helped, as she is a designer). "Life is No Way to Treat an Animal" is one of the famous sayings from his character Kilgore Trout -- even the stamp is custom. It is one of my favorite things. Here is a somewhat grainy picture of both sides of the postcard:

 Here is how I set it up the poem in The No Asshole Rule:

If you read or watch TV programs about business or sports, you often see the world framed as place where everyone wants “more more more” for “me me me,” every minute in every way. The old bumper sticker sums it up: “Whoever dies with the most toys wins.” The potent but usually unstated message is that we are all trapped in a life-long contest where people can never get enough money, prestige, victories, cool stuff, beauty, or sex – and that we do want and should want more goodies than everyone else.

This attitude fuels a quest for constant improvement that has a big upside, leading to everything from more beautiful athletic and artistic performances, to more elegant and functional products, to better surgical procedures and medicines, to more effective and humane organizations. Yet when taken too far, this blend of constant dissatisfaction, unquenchable desires, and overbearing competitiveness can damage your mental health. It can lead you to treat those “below” you as inferior creatures who are worthy of your disdain and people "above" you who have more stuff and status as objects of envy and jealousy.

Again, a bit of framing can help. Tell yourself, “I have enough.” Certainly, some people need more than they have, as many people on earth still need a safe place to live, enough good food to eat, and other necessities. But too many of us are never satisfied and feel constantly slighted, even though – by objective standards – we have all we need to live a good life. I got this idea from a lovely little poem that Kurt Vonnegut published in The New Yorker called “Joe Heller,” which was about the author of the renowned World War II novel Catch 22. As you can see, the poem describes a party that Heller and Vonnegut attended at a billionaire’s house. Heller remarks to Vonnegut that he has something that the billionaire can never have, "The knowledge that I've got enough." These wise words provide a frame that can help you be at peace with yourself and to treat those around you with affection and respect:

Joe Heller  

True story, Word of Honor: 

Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer 

now dead, 

and I were at a party given by a billionaire 

on Shelter Island.

I said, "Joe, how does it make you feel 

to know that our host only yesterday 

may have made more money 

than your novel 'Catch-22' 

has earned in its entire history?" 

And Joe said, "I've got something he can never have." 

And I said, "What on earth could that be, Joe?" 

And Joe said, "The knowledge that I've got enough." 

Not bad! Rest in peace!"

--Kurt Vonnegut

The New Yorker, May 16th, 2005

(Reprinted with Kurt Vonnegut’s permission -- see the above postcard!)

My response is "amen."

P.S. I later wrote another post about Vonnegut, which talked about my favorite quote.

?I am a Stanford Professor who studies and writes about leadership, organizational change, and navigating organizational life. Check out my new "All Things Bob Sutton" site, where you can sign up for my free monthly newsletter, videos, links to my writings, and other goodies. Follow me on Twitter@work_matters, and check out my other posts on LinkedIn.