The Knowledge Mirage

"How come I don’t seem to know as much as everyone else? Maybe I don’t really belong here."

Does this sound familiar? It was a common internal conversation for me. The question is... why? First, I should tell you that I am a (recovering) perfectionist. This self doubt started to form from overhearing co-workers talking very knowledgeably and in depth about subjects I only felt I had surface knowledge on. I wanted to know everything they knew. There was so much to know, how could I get to that depth of knowledge on EVERYTHING?

There’s the problematic key word...EVERYTHING. In most professions, in order to be successful, a basic working knowledge of all aspects of the particular job is required. Once that is established, people can focus on areas they like (or are particularity good at) and develop an unofficial specialty. This is where I started to misunderstand others abilities and knowledge.

I realize now that I was giving others more credit than they deserved and taking away credit from myself. Because they knew a LOT about one thing, I assumed they had that level of knowledge about EVERYTHING (there’s that problematic word again). On top of that, I didn’t give myself any credit for the areas I was an expert in. In my mind, everyone around me had deep knowledge of all areas and I didn’t have deep knowledge of anything. Pretty ridiculous, huh? That caused a serious case of imposter syndrome, creating a HUGE, and very inaccurate picture of how I compared to my peers. I would think, “Wow, how did I get here? I don’t think I deserve to be here. I have had the same training they have had and worked very hard, why don’t I know what they know?” Frequently doubting myself.

What contributed to this problem? The knowledge mirage! I am a pretty open person and I am not afraid to say when I don’t know something, asking for help when I need it. Not everyone is like this, yet I wasn’t acknowledging this in my mind. This definitely painted an inaccurate picture. Because I tend to speak out about areas I am weak in, so I can become more knowledgeable, and others quite frequently ONLY talk about what they really know well, there appeared to be a huge gap in my knowledge. This was only a mirage, but I didn’t realize it for a long time.

Not only did this mirage lead me to inaccurately place myself near the bottom of my peer group, but it also postured me to believe I needed to strive to have a deep knowledge of EVERYTHING to be considered “good.” This self induced expectation to have a deep knowledge of EVERYTHING was an unrealistic goal. Because I didn’t realize this early on, the thought of trying to be an expert in everything was overwhelming and therefore oftentimes I didn’t even know where to begin.

What are the lessons here?

1. Have a basic understanding of all aspects of your job and then start to specialize in areas you like, and/or are good at.

2. Don’t assume that others know everything because they know a lot about one or two things....if you really listen, they may always take the conversation back to the one or two areas they REALLY know.

3. Don’t assume because you ask a lot of questions, nobody else has questions...most people are just too afraid to ask, but are grateful that you do. Take on this role with pride and know that you will almost always help many by asking the questions you have.

4. Give yourself credit for what you do know, build upon it and share that knowledge with others. Recognize that imposter syndrome is real and MANY people, especially highly successful people, suffer from it.

Now go out into the world, ask your questions and be proud of your strengths. Your are NOT an imposter!