Knowing your Narratives! The best investment in You!

It is only recently that I have been brave enough to share publicly the foundational reason why I am on a mission to bring JOY to the planet. And that reason is simply, that I have spent much of my life in a terrible state of depression.

Why?

• Because I had all my focus on the wrong things.
• I was trapped in some well worn repetitive patterns and behaviours, in response to outside stimuli.
• I felt hopeless and at the whim of these nagging emotions and paradigms.

But, it was not until I was about thirty-five years old, and in a counselling session to work through the trauma of splitting up with a boyfriend, that I discovered I was actually being held hostage by an entirely different thing.

And these two narratives seemed to inform all the self doubt, negativity, and anxiety that seeped into all areas of my life.

Firstly - I was living in a place of very low self worth and negativity, brought about by overhearing a conversation when I was around seven years old. I have written about this before - and it was soul destroying. As a little girl, who dreamed of being a ballerina, I had attended a workshop at my mother's dance school and tried my heart out. I always arrived early, warmed up diligently, smiled, jumped, twirled and felt the music in every moment. The sheer JOY of classical ballet was palpable every time the piano played. My heart rejoiced!

But unluckily for me, I was short, dumpy and had funny turned in legs with sickled feet. Not the makings of a ballet dancer. But still, despite my lack of natural ability, I loved ballet! I had pictures of Mikhail Baryshnikov [ the greatest ballet dancer of all time, in my opinion] all over my bedroom walls. And I attended dance classes five days a week, for hours on end! In fact, in primary school, I did my Year Four lecturette on Baryshnikov, much to the bemusement of my class, who had no idea who I was talking about. You get the picture. Ballet was my world!

And then, one unassuming evening, as I listened in to the adult conversation around our family dinner table, I heard the visiting ballet teacher, from this very workshop that I was pouring my heart and soul into, say quite casually to my Mum " Poor Little Chrissy, she tries so hard, but she'll never be any good".

Boom!

Silence!

Shock!

My world came crashing down around me, and in an instant I entered victimhood, with the idea that no matter how hard I tried in life...at anything...I would never be any good! My first narrative was written, and tucked away in my subconscious to run havoc for years to come.

Secondly - I discovered in this same therapy session that I had a huge amount of survivor guilt. And along with this guilt came a huge amount of anger! When I was a happy little five year old, my only male sibling, my little brother, passed away suddenly. One week he was there and the next - he was gone. He was an angelic little three year old! I always reasoned that my family would have been far better off with him and not me. In the end we had four girls in the Denny household. So the blow was two fold. I felt enormous guilt to be alive, when my only brother died... and then tremendous anger, that he had left me.

" Why didn't I die instead" I would often asked myself. " It's not fair my parents do not have a son and only have daughters. I have ruined everything by being alive and being a girl. Why couldn't I be a boy? "!

And when people enquired innocently [ all the time ] " so there's four girls in your family...you don't have a brother?" - the feelings of imposter syndrome, at merely being alive at all, would amplify considerably.

I truly believed that everyone would have been far happier to have my brother around, rather than me. And that set me up with a terrible lack of worth, as a person in the world. It also undermined my connection and grounding to being a female and how I existed on the planet in a feminine way.

Is it any wonder I pursued two very male dominated activates in my early career:

• Playing drumkit in a number of bands
• Teaching tap dance [ a very male dominated arena at the time]!

Discovering these two narratives, changed my life.

Immediately!

I realised that I had been severely impacted by these two random events. And I had allowed the narratives that came from these moments to take control of my life. These narratives were running my show and setting me up for misery, a total lack of self-esteem, and a whole lot of depression and anxiety. And I became aware that I now had a two choices:

1. Allow the narratives free reign for the rest of my life
2. Get rid of these old, worn out narratives that were not productive, and replace all the limiting thought patterns and behaviours that were tied to them.

I chose option two and my Joy Making career began.

Firstly I started a blog called A Bridge To You.

I wrote over one hundred and fifty blogs that turned out to be a Bridge To Me! I found myself in these blogs and strategised ways to keep my mindset positive and my outlook cheery! And it worked. My persona transformed and I started to feel better about being me.

You can still find these housed in that old website: www.abridgetoyou.com.au

But now - this mission has morphed into The Joy Maker Experience and it is my passion, my purpose - my life!

How do I know?

Because I wake up every morning with something to say.

And I light up whenever I am given the opportunity to help someone maximise JOY and a positive disposition in their own life!

I know I can help people find their way through the quagmire that is their narratives. Because if I can do it - I know others can do it too!

But first, you have to be aware. You have to take the time to dig deep and find out what is really making you tick. Who, or what, is leading you around by the nose? Who or what are the puppeteers pulling your strings?

We all have them.

We all have issues to work through.

We all have challenges to conquer.

And, we all have great talents, skills and experience to bring to our communities!

And nothing brings me greater pleasure, than to help someone else put their old narratives to bed and create new stories to take into a happy, productive future.

As I always say " Happy People Make Happy Communities"!

And we all thrive, when we are surrounded by others who are bringing their A Game into the environment! And to bring that " can do" mentality into play, you have to be self aware and conscious of the script you are writing for your life.

So take the time today to think about what might be running in the background of your life. I would love to hear your thoughts on this article too.

And Let's Bring the Joy back to Life...one narrative at a time!

Christine

To work with Christine please email: [email protected]

Joy Maker Sessions Available Include:

1:1 Sessions - Day Retreats - Keynotes - Workshops - Energisers