Knowing Your Audience: The Compass for Speaking Success

A few years ago, I gave a speech to a sixth-grade class in Laguna Beach. I was thrilled. I put together a presentation I thought would knock their socks off—cool stories, jokes, the works. The thing is, I didn’t really think about what sixth graders would find interesting. I just assumed they’d love it.

They didn’t.

About five minutes in, I lost them completely. Some kids whispered and laughed, others outright ignored me. My buddy Jesse —their teacher—still teases me about it to this day. “Remember when you got heckled by a bunch of 12-year-olds?” he jokes.?

Ouch.

That speech was a total shipwreck, but it taught me one of the most important lessons for any speaker: know your audience. It’s not just about avoiding embarrassment; it’s about crafting a message that truly resonates.

Over the years, I've had the privilege of speaking on hundreds of stages worldwide, from intimate workshops to large conferences, and have been a guest on numerous podcasts.?

Additionally, through one of my three podcasts, World of Speakers, I've interviewed over 100 of the world's top speakers.?

One piece of advice that comes up again and again is this: understanding your audience isn’t just a nice-to-have—it’s the foundation of every great talk.?

But why is it so critical??

And how do you actually do it?

Let’s dig deeper into why knowing your audience matters and how to master it, leveraging my experience, and the wisdom from some of the most accomplished speakers I know.

Why Knowing Your Audience Is Crucial

Connection Is Key

The goal of any speech is connection. Whether you’re pitching to investors, addressing employees, or toasting at a wedding, your audience needs to feel like you’re speaking directly to them. If they don’t, your message won’t land, no matter how polished your delivery is.

As Drew Dudley shared in Episode 47: "Creating Value and Connections with Your Talks," storytelling is a powerful tool for building connection. But it’s not enough to just tell a story—you have to tell the right story for your audience. He emphasizes that genuine value comes when your audience sees themselves in your message.

Avoiding Missteps

Knowing your audience also prevents you from saying the wrong thing. Imagine cracking a lighthearted joke about budget cuts to a group of employees anxious about layoffs. Without understanding their context, you could unintentionally alienate them.

Driving Action

Finally, when your audience feels understood, they’re more likely to act on your message. Whether you want them to buy your product, implement your advice, or simply feel inspired, understanding their perspective makes your call to action far more effective.

Rahfeal Gordon reinforced this in Episode 10: "From Local to Global." He explained how engaging deeply with your home audience prepares you to connect authentically on bigger stages, even international ones. This foundation of understanding allows you to craft messages that inspire action.

How to Truly Understand Your Audience

1. Research Like a Journalist

Before you step on stage, learn everything you can about the people you’ll be speaking to.

• Who are they? Think about their roles, industries, and levels of expertise. What’s their average age, and what challenges do they face?
• Why are they here? Are they attending because they want practical tools, inspiration, or just entertainment?
• What do they care about? Identify their values, goals, and frustrations so you can align your message with what matters to them.

Take it one step further: look up articles or reports about their industry. If it’s a company event, study their recent press releases or team achievements. Maybe do some prompting with your favorite large language model, and create some audience profiles. These small insights can help you weave specific, relevant details into your talk, building trust and rapport.

When I got hired to do a keynote to a group of sales people in Texas, I asked the company to connect me with a couple of their top performing employees. From those conversations, I got insights that helped my keynote hit the mark. I tailored my examples to challenges that they were actually facing, and the personalization made all the difference.

2. Engage Before You Speak

Sometimes the best insights come from the audience themselves. Don’t wait until you’re on stage to connect. Instead, engage beforehand to better understand who they are and what they want.

• Ask questions. If you’re at an in-person event, mingle with attendees. Ask, “What brought you here today?” or “What are you hoping to learn?”
• Use surveys. For virtual events, send out a quick pre-event survey. Even a single question—“What’s your biggest challenge in X?”—can provide clarity.

Go beyond surface-level interaction. If you’re delivering a keynote, work closely with the event organizers to understand the audience profile. Ask for specific examples of what has worked—or bombed—in past talks.

This principle was echoed by Bonnie M. Harvey and Michael Houlihan in Episode 2: "One More Thing—Smile!" They emphasize how they show up early to speaking engagements, so that they can meet their audience. Michael and Bonnie enjoy standing at the entrance, greeting people as they come in. Then when the audience realizes that they are the keynote speakers, it creates a personal connection, and one that is more memorable, which builds authenticity and trust.?

3. Speak Their Language

Your audience doesn’t just hear your words—they interpret them through the lens of their experiences. Using the wrong tone, terminology, or references can create an invisible barrier between you and them.

• Avoid jargon. Industry-specific terms can alienate listeners who aren’t familiar with them. If you must use technical language, explain it in a relatable way.
• Adapt your tone. Speaking to a group of high school students? Keep it casual and fun. Addressing a boardroom of executives? Use a more formal tone while staying personable.
• Match cultural context. For international audiences, be mindful of idioms, humor, or references that might not translate.

Sally Zimney shared in Episode 114: "Speaking Story" that storytelling is not just about words—it’s about choosing the right framework to resonate with your audience. Her tips on tailoring stories to audience expectations are invaluable for crafting persuasive messages.

4. Tell Stories That Resonate

A great story isn’t just entertaining—it’s a bridge that connects you to your audience’s hearts and minds. But not every story will resonate with every audience.

• Make it relatable. Choose stories that echo the audience’s own experiences, challenges, or aspirations.
• Add details they’ll care about. A personal story about resilience might resonate differently for a group of entrepreneurs versus a group of teachers. Tailor your framing accordingly.
• Practice and embrace vulnerability. Take the time to rehearse your storytelling so it flows naturally. Don’t shy away from vulnerability; people connect with real, imperfect moments more than polished perfection.

Park Howell , a guest on Episode 116: "The Business of Story," emphasizes the importance of crafting narratives that connect with listeners on an emotional level. He shared insights on the power of vulnerability and how a well-told story can transform a talk into an unforgettable experience. His approach to storytelling inspires speakers to find universal themes within their personal journeys.

When I was invited to speak in Haiti, I wove stories from my adventure there directly into my talk. From navigating bustling markets to sharing a meal with locals, these anecdotes painted a vivid picture for the audience. By tying my personal experiences to the larger themes of connection and understanding, the stories became a way for us to relate to each other, no matter where we were from.

This is the essence of storytelling: finding a way to make your experiences resonate as if they belong to everyone in the room. Whether it’s a tale of triumph, failure, or humor, your stories should feel like a mirror reflecting the audience’s own lives and dreams.

At a startup conference in China, I shared a personal story about a failed pitch that turned into a valuable lesson. By tying it to the audience’s shared experience of rejection and resilience, the story became more than just mine—it became ours.

5. Stay Flexible During Your Talk

Even the best-prepared speaker can’t predict every audience reaction. That’s why flexibility is essential. When you’re speaking, things will go wrong. The key is how you handle those moments and keep the audience with you.

• Watch their body language. Are they engaged, nodding, and smiling? Or are they checking their phones? Use this feedback to adjust your delivery in real time.
• Ask interactive questions. If you sense energy dipping, pause and ask the audience for their thoughts or experiences. A simple question like, “How many of you have faced this challenge before?” can re-engage attention and create interaction.
• Acknowledge the moment. If something unexpected happens—like a technical glitch or an off-topic question—address it with humor and move on. This keeps the audience connected and reassures them that you’re human too.

In Episode 113: "Act in the Opportunity" with Kit Pang , we explored this very topic. Kit shared his belief that adaptability is one of the most critical skills for any speaker. He explained that when you embrace the unexpected with grace and humor, it can turn a potential setback into a powerful moment of connection.

When I was on Kit’s podcast, Boston Speaks , my camera malfunctioned, and I literally turned blue on screen. No matter what I did, I couldn’t fix it. So, I leaned into it.

We joked about it throughout the recording and even used it as a teaching moment—things will go wrong, and you just have to roll with it.?, my camera malfunctioned, and I literally turned blue on screen. No matter what I did, I couldn’t fix it. So, I leaned into it. We joked about it throughout the recording and even used it as a teaching moment—things will go wrong, and you just have to roll with it. The recording ended up being one of the most memorable episodes, and my “blue moment” became a hit on social media, where we posted clips with captions about resilience and humor.

This experience is a great reminder that staying flexible and embracing imperfections can often create your most memorable moments. The audience isn’t expecting perfection—they’re expecting connection.

The Deeper Takeaway

Understanding your audience is not just a box to check—it’s the heart of impactful speaking. It transforms your talk from a one-way lecture into a meaningful exchange. By digging deep, personalizing your approach, and staying present, you can ensure your message not only reaches your audience but stays with them long after the talk is over.

Conclusion:

The sixth graders in Laguna Beach taught me a tough but valuable lesson. I didn’t understand my audience, and my speech sank like a stone. But that shipwreck was part of my journey to becoming a better speaker.

Every audience is unique, but the tools for connection remain universal.

Think of your audience as the compass guiding your speech. The more you understand them, the better equipped you are to craft a message that resonates. And when you do, your talks will leave an impact that goes far beyond the stage.

Next Steps

Before your next talk, dedicate extra time to understanding your audience. Research them, engage with them, and tailor your stories to their experiences. And if you’re hungry for more insights, dive into the World of Speakers podcast for deeper conversations with incredible thought leaders.

Because when you truly know your audience, you don’t just deliver a speech—you create a connection that lasts.

If you’re ready to take your speaking, presentation, or pitching game to the next level, I’m here to help. Battle-worn and experienced, I’ve stood on stages around the world, learned from my own wins and failures, and gained invaluable insights from hundreds of incredible speakers. Let’s work together to help you stand and speak from the shoulders of this collective experience and make your next talk unforgettable.

Want to see how I can help? It’s as simple as booking an intro call with me , and we can explore.?