Knowing YOU, deeply!
Nicky Elliot
I help women lead THEIR way! Leadership Development. Women’s Empowerment. Action focussed life & career coaching.
Knowing YOU!
Misalignment is a major cause of burnout. It's simple, if you are regularly doing things that rub against who you really are, there is going to be an impact. Usually, stress.
If you always brushed your hair upwards towards the root, you’d make a tangled mess.
If you repeatedly sand a piece of wood across the grain, it will never be as smooth & shiny as if you went with the grain.
So, why is it so hard to realise when we are inside it?
The modern world has us largely disconnected from ourselves. Bombarded by stimulation from every angle. How can you access your instinctive self when you are being reminded that Netflix has new episodes, Amazon has a deal for you & someone is at your front door.
Whether these examples resonate or not, you get the idea.
Our attention is constantly being pulled EVERYWHERE other than ourselves.
The trouble is, that moral compass is inside whether we pay attention to it or not. When we don’t, it causes friction.
Like the time a valued supplier & great group of people were informed, in front of 6000 people, of a business decision that would halve their business. I had to tread the company line, despite a visceral reaction. They hadn’t been informed.
Why?
Because it was going to be a difficult conversation.
That’s leadership & THAT was a huge failure. It let all of us down that had to face the aftermath. Weakness and cowardice in leadership caused immense discomfort and stress on all sides!
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In that case, I played down my own feelings.
It was a BUSINESS DECISION was the mantra. But there were PEOPLE involved. Human beings with jobs & bills to pay. Long term relationships. Unacceptable!
Each time those frankly, disgusting decisions were made, it took more out of me. I was out of alignment with myself. I wasn’t MAKING those decisions, but I was having to enact them & uphold them with my team. I felt I had no choice. That job paid for my home & fed my children. Ultimately, after a number of years, the cost was too high. I worked so hard to shield my team that they were mostly unaware of the awful behaviours above. The 'kickings' in a certain office! So much so that when I couldn’t shield them anymore, they blamed me. The one person that had gone above & beyond to protect them behind the scenes. I couldn’t stop everything that happened. They truly have no idea!
If you are in middle or senior management, you will know exactly what I mean... all of the stuff you absorb to keep your team well. ?Eventually, you become a dam. The pressure builds up and has to go somewhere. If you have asked for support & made proposals to no avail, & you KEEP ON absorbing – it will probably be YOU that breaks.
Everyone has their limit!
Ultimately, if you are a person that cares about people, leadership is sometimes going to feel hard.
Only by REALLY knowing yourself, knowing what is OK and what isn’t, will you be able to keep yourself well through the inevitable stress that you encounter.
When you can stand in your own power & watch others in their vortex, you get to choose FOR YOU whether you want to allow yourself to be swept along.
Some things matter enough to jump in.
Some don’t.
Do you know yourself well enough to discern the difference?
Or are you being swept along by what everyone else decides is a priority?
Time to take charge.
Time to get back to YOU.
Time to LEAD YOUR WAY!?
I help women lead THEIR way! Leadership Development. Women’s Empowerment. Action focussed life & career coaching.
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