KNOW YOUR?HOT BUTTONS

Hot buttons are events that create an intense personal emotional response. They can be serious events, or everyday things like: someone not refilling the coffee pot, someone "borrowing" something on your desk and not returning it, someone constantly interrupting you, someone not doing what they say they're going to do, etc.

Everyone has a different hot button list. It's important to observe, become aware of your hot buttons so that they don't get the best of you. Better yet, write them down and try using the following formula to help you change how you react when one of your hot buttons is triggered: 

When_____ I will_____= Goal(s)

Here's an example: 

When someone hasn't followed through on a commitment, I will calmly approach them without making assumptions and discuss an alternate approach to completing this task. Goal(s):  To prevent myself from spiralling into an unnecessary stress response and making false assumptions. To improve my overall quality of life and therefore my family's quality of life.

I've had people ask me why they have to change and not the person who is offending them? The simple answer is that we aren't in control of other people's behaviour, only our own behaviour. The sooner we accept this fact, the calmer and less stressful our lives will be.