Know what your client is thinking (even if they're not saying anything)
Joel Slack
Senior Consultant at Fast Slow Motion | 19x Salesforce Certified Application and System Architect
Remember that time when you had a bad phone connection and only heard every few words from the other person?
That was frustrating, wasn’t it?
In day-to-day life, gestures and tone play a huge role in communication. You’ll only pick up bits and pieces of the conversation if you don’t get this.
Why Non-Verbal Communication Matters
When you’re meeting with clients, your body language and tone tell them a lot. And you can learn a lot from their body language and tone.
We don’t think about this consciously most of the time. Our brains filter it out to keep us from being bombarded with too much detail.
But your brain is still processing it subconsciously.
You might be excited. But if your face is stuck in a frown, it’s tough to get across.
I started reviewing my body language and facial expressions on recordings. My “thinking” face looked a lot like my “angry” face.
On the other hand, I’ve had multiple clients who didn’t want to stop meeting. It wasn’t because of my sparkling wit or killer skills. They said, “We don’t want to stop seeing your smile.”
Your non-verbal communication can be the difference between a satisfied, happy client and a cranky one.
It works the other way too
Clients have body language and tone, too. Watch it. It will tell you things the client didn’t say.
I’ve used this to pick up on issues. To dig deeper. Find out more. And I prevented problems by noticing them early.
Clients think you have some kind of magic. You’ve already seen where they want to go, because you’ve picked up on what they didn’t say.
What does non-verbal communication do?
If you don’t pay attention to non-verbal communication, you’ll:
When you pay attention to non-verbal communication in a meeting you’ll:
How do I do that?
Remember, non-verbal communication often happens subconsciously. You’ll have to train your brain to recognize it. Here’s where to start:
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Self-awareness
Start with yourself. It doesn’t even need to be in a meeting.
Put reminders on your calendar or in your phone for 3-4 times throughout the day. Use them to think about how you’re feeling. Give it a name. Use words like:
Put words to your feelings. Then, look in a mirror or take a selfie. What expression are you making? Is your body tense or relaxed?
Most importantly, do these things match what you want to show others?
You’ll get better at recognizing your posture, facial expressions, and tone. Eventually, controlling your body will become your new habit.
It will feel uncomfortable at first. You’ll feel “fake.” But remember, you’re trying to communicate your real message! Anything you can do to communicate that message is honest and worth practicing.
Active Listening
Once you’re feeling more comfortable with your body language and tone you can shift to others.
Pay attention to their posture and tone. Even if you can’t see them, you can still hear their tone.
You’ll start to notice when their verbal and non-verbal communication align. And when they don’t. Both provide useful information.
When they align, you can take most of what they say at face value. When they don’t, it’s worth investigating why.
Maybe there’s an underlying budget or timeline concern. Maybe they’re nervous about change. Maybe they need to sell a decision maker above them and don’t know how.
Non-verbal communication won’t tell you the answers. It will give you clues to follow. Dig deeper to find the answers.
Practice Adaptability
Once you understand non-verbal communication, you can use it to get your point across.
Depending on the moment, your client might need you to show:
You’ll recognize what they need and give them the non-verbal signals they need. It will help your client to feel confident. They’ll be more open and trusting. They’ll even get better results.
And it’s all because you didn’t have to say a word.