Know Thyself- Trust

Trust, a complex topic. Like respect, trust must be earned. It is not something that can be commanded from others. The foundation for a trustful relationship comes from us and what is within our control. As the saying goes, one must others trust in ourselves to earn trust from others.  

There are the usual suspects when we come to building trust. 

Being Reliable

Being Honest

Being Open

Acting with Integrity and good intent  

All four of these are in my repertoire of daily use. I don’t differentiate which people get access to these important factors. I am myself and treat all, with these ingredients. What I have seen over the years is that most people reciprocate these factors back to me. In fact, many have gone over and above in repaying me. Which is awesome.  

But life is not that easy. There are folks who are devious and do not play by these rules. They don’t display these values and can be driven by their own agenda. But I try my best to hold up my side of the bargain. To what end you may ask me. For me, being consistent with my values is very important regardless of whom I am dealing with. 

 Does that mean that I am a mug? 

 To some I may very well be just that. I believe these trust building values will stand the test of time and people. We will prevail in the end. Does that mean I am oblivious to what others are up to. Not at all. I do have a reasonable radar for people and their motives. Some, I just let run with it and others I have a frank discussion. Sometimes the calls I make to deal with these folks pay off and in others, it comes back to bite me. But I try not to let that bother me. One cannot change others really.  

Getting into long term partnerships including marriage requires reciprocation of trust. Taking the time to build trust and see how the other person conducts themselves is a good safety precaution, is the current thinking.  

Marriage, in my day, seemed to work out without much in terms of checking out the other person. The premise was we got married and worked on trust, vision and adjusting to one another. Much less complicated than what the young must go through these days. I guess we were trusting as well as naive.  

There are some folks that I check out in terms of trust and skills before engaging with them. Professionals. One must trust they are capable and trustworthy in what they do. Best to do the due diligence before we sign up with them. I am most particular about the doctors. One does not want to be the trial and error package they practice on. Especially so with consultants. I know this can be tricky business as it is hard to grasp someone's abilities if not in the healthcare business and don’t know medical people.  

With trust, I am not bound by fear what others will do to me or betray me.  In most part it works out for the best and in some cases I am taken for a mug. But life is short, and one should not worry about these less than optimal folks. As I grow older, I observe more. The human condition is an interesting thing. I ponder why some folks must live life never knowing openness and integrity. I also observe people being so afraid to trust as they have been bitten in the past. Which is a shame as they are controlled by others and not by themselves.  

In conclusion, trust is an important component in life. We need to be mindful of what is in our control and work on it to earn trust from those around us. If some don’t return the favour, we deal with the situation as we think fit. But expecting trust in return should not be on the cards. We do our bit. And should be pleasantly surprised with any fruit that may come our way. Never, be open, act with integrity, be honest and reliable thinking someone will return the favour. We are just ourselves and the universe, usually takes care of us. 

 How do you approach trust? 

 What has worked for you and what not? 

 What do you think of my approach? 

 How do you gauge if you trust someone or not? 

 How have you earned trust?