Know Thyself- Genetic Makeup

Another aspect of Know Thyself is, finding out, how much of our within is inherited. Deciphering this code, and making this work in our favour is an ideal way to leverage what the universe has given us.

 So let us (writing genie and I) delve within to understand this coding. It was tough having to peel the onion to separate what is nature and nurture. After several days of contemplation here are our findings:

The Love of Learning

My grandfather, father and brothers, were all academically bright. They loved to read, understand and absorb complex ideas and chunks of knowledge. One of them was a master at synthesizing complex issues into a simple clean sentence that held me spellbound. Dad, spent all his time visiting me in New Zealand, with his nose in his books (he did not have time to read as much as he liked in Sri Lanka, as he was a busy physician). He was in fact, quite grumpy when I forced him to see the beautiful countryside in New Zealand. He was one eyed about his thirst for knowledge.

 Looking at myself, I am a practical version of this. This practicality came from my mother which I am so grateful for. In my working life, all my learning came from on the job. I fell over many times, sometimes painfully, but learnt as I went. In fact,  I learnt best when my skirt or pants were on fire (In crisis situations). On the other hand, I learnt very little in formal training sessions. I had a ball, participated in all discussions, but had to come away to experiment in my own way to accept the concepts.

 Now, in life after corporate, I learn on LinkedIn. It is a load of fun to have folk stretch my brain and introduce new concepts on a daily basis. The discussion is very rich. Being to Harvard for a course (my bucket list) I noticed the biggest learning that is offered in such institutions, is peer to peer learning. Well the beauty of LinkedIn is that we can have those conversations for free when we surround ourselves with people of substance and can have fun, to boot.

 I read some books too. But selectively as I prefer the adrenalin rush of having discussions.I am sure Dad would be horrified to see what I am up to on LinkedIn as he was a very private person.

 Big Soft Spot for the Underdogs and the opposite for Ego Trippers

 This tendency too came from my father. As a Health Professional, he was very kind to the poor and needy. They loved him. On the other hand, people of consequence were handled with a tad of indifference. He would amp up the indifference if their arrogance got up his nose. No wonder he never got the best transfers when he served in the public health system in Sri Lanka. I know I am his daughter, and go one step higher in the treatment of arrogant ego trippers. When I dealt with such people in the past, I went on the front foot and called out bad behaviour. Got me into some serious trouble at times. But I have no regrets. Now, I am a tad mature, I pick my fights and let everyone else go through to the keeper. Life is so much more peaceful. A good way to use the genetic code, to our advantage, though it took me over five decades to crack the code on this one.

 Minimalism

This genetic imprint came from both parents who were practicing Gandhians. This genetic predisposition in myself was exacerbated by my Dad, always quoting “Beggars can’t be choosers” on a very regular basis. Net result is that, I am worse than a minimalist. I put up with being without basic needs quite happily.

 My condition worsened as I married someone who insists, on getting value for money when he spends. He is a minimalist in certain areas of his life, but does not apply this uniformly across all his needs like I do. Hence we don’t live in a cave and beg for our supper.

 Minimalism does not mean we skimp on being generous to others. My husband, is very generous in giving, so that has opened my eyes to others needs. I have learnt that others cannot survive with being detached to needs and wants, like I can.

 I can list a couple more items that I know to be genetic predispositions. They are not that much fun to write about. One is service mentality which I inherited from both parents.

 Another is, putting a great effort in everything, I put my mind to doing. Quite a boring attribute, as I am regularly taken for a pack horse and thus taken for granted. Not a nice thing. My parents, too were typical pack-horses and the husband, is a gold medalist. Hence we are doomed.

 It is good to identify what genetic predispositions we have. This helps in us modify and fine tune how we respond to stimuli from the environment. We should not take refuge in saying “that is my blue print, so cannot change myself “. All behaviours can be modified and enhanced if we put our minds to it.

We have grown up with folk who have encouraged or berated us. Depending on what we encountered, it can be easy or hard, to introspect on this topic.

 In my case, though there were some murmuring from the parent who did not appreciate a particular characteristic. It is only through maturity and this introspective journey, I was able to decipher this code and contemplate the corrective action I need to take. 

 I am glad, for instance, I don’t judge others for their non-minimalistic ways and don’t jump down the throat of all arrogant folk I meet. I am sure I will modify my responses as I mature further.

 What are some of your genetic predispositions?

 What were your experiences with these as you grew up?

 Have they changed over the years?

 Would you like to modify your responses?