Know Thyself-Duty

Know Thyself-Duty

Duty and Honour, the catch cry of the Armed forces around the world. At least that was the case in the 20th century. I am not sure how relevant it is in today’s world. For me, a child of the sixties and seventies, duty and honour were what I grew up with and what I embraced for most of my life. To do what I think is right and expected of me, always. No meme’s, Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn for that matter to mess with my head. So, there I was, the moral compass was central, and like the marines, mine was not to reason why (about duty) but mine was just to do or die. Simple as that. ??

The girl grew up to be a woman, with the same set of beliefs. And married someone who was equally overdosing on honour and duty. Hence, there was no hope for this combination, but to slowly watch honour and duty grow on steroids. ??

Being the eldest son, my husband had his duty cut out for him. And I, being the only girl in my family had duty too, outlined for me. Then we both had the duty owed to our employers and to the senior positions we were in the mix. Then we had another kind of self-imposed duty that we took on ourselves being the product of the civil war in Sri Lanka. Community and volunteering work was huge in our lives too. Almost like countering the guilt we felt when thinking of the folk who were trapped well and truly in the civil war. ??

In hindsight, one could say it was a Molotov cocktail really. But at the time, we had no time or the mind space to introspect. We just kept going and doing what we thought was required of us. (I don’t like spelling out what was done, as it smacks too much of the dreaded personal branding) ??

What I found was society had its expectations on top of what was expected from family and ourselves. Especially if one is into community service. And so, life whizzed by, duty and honour bound. Yes, we managed to have fun and adventure during all of that. And build a house too. But sometimes we seriously think we were on steroids of some sort to run after duty with such single mindedness. ??

And it is only now, I have had a moment to try to unravel this duty gig. What I found: ?

  • Many of my era were programmed on honour and duty very early in life. And this programming was so deeply etched that it became second nature. ?
  • The young of today, have so much other influences that the duty gig is not top of mind. They consider many different choices. Not tunnelled visioned like we were. ?
  • The young are into self-care, self-expression and self-actualisation. We thought self-care was selfish, self-expression is for issues of greater good, and self-actualisation is to advance honourably and through hard work. As such, we personally took second pew in all matters, thinking doing the right thing will help us in life. Our health has suffered due to this approach. Now it is up to us to fix ourselves and tweak our beliefs. ?
  • Being programmed with duty, I suspect if we had broken out of this programming and did our own thing, we would have wallowed in guilt and self-loathing. Now it has done, and we can just be. Inner peace is most important. Each must determine a balance between how much we do in the name of duty and how much we do not. But we must be at peace with the choices we make. ?
  • While duty may go out of fashion on many fronts, there will be folk who sacrifice themselves for others till the dusk of time. Parents are the one group that pops to mind. Not sure about other groups though. ??

Duty is not a hot topic anymore. We still have pockets of people thinking this defines them. I hope so, for those in public offices and in the armed forces. Within the family, many will weigh the pros and cons of the call of duty before they will do it these days. Some of course will always be the exception. I am glad people are not programmed anymore, but at the same time hope that the concept of greater good and being humane is not lost in the process.??

Were you programmed with duty? ??

How do you feel about duty? ??

What do you think about my findings? ??

What actions do you undertake telling yourself it is your duty? ??

Does duty matter in the workplace? ??

What do you think of my findings??

Ambili Ramkumar

Associate Director | Cognizant - Digital Transformation, Guidewire, Duck Creek implementation - QE

2 年

Nice topic Subi Nanthivarman... True i am also brought up in that line but honestly I rebel the word "duty" in a personal context.. somehow that word gives an emotion of something imposed.. (could be a perception issue)..the moment someone tells me its my duty to do something, i lose my will to do it.. Responsibility is fine with me, i can handle that...?? But either ways, there is no escape from honouring dependencies and responsibilities ...I don't feel bad either even if i skip it occasionally.. that just a "me time" arrangement..

T SAI DEVAKAR

Hum filal ADs seekh rahe hai

2 年

so true Subi Nanthivarman .

Duty matters a lot to me. And often, if you don't do your duty right is when you will feel out of alignment.

Ugo Nuvoloni

?? Make it Growing, Agile and Organized ?? | Entrep, CEOs Business Coach Mentor | Dyslexic Innovator | Advocate for Conscious Leadership

2 年

Subi Nanthivarman undoubtedly

Amit Gaur

I help busy professionals rediscover clarity & happiness in their career & life || 10+ yrs of Healing & Therapy experience || Forgiveness Advocate

2 年

Subi, Duty and guilt are great intertwined for me too. Especially in areas of family, parents and teachers, not so much the others. I am still working on clearing those two. Having said that, it is essential to realize that we are specifically talking about the word Duty... which means obligatory, mandatory responsibilities. It does not mean family or parents or community or country aren't cared for any more, it just means that the care does not come from a forced... I have to do it or i'll feel guilty space.? The unprogrammed mind is actually most responsible and most loving since it doesn't distinguish and separate itself from others. For an observer though the unprogrammed mind might seem aloof or detached, the truth is that what the programmed mind ends up doing as duty is seldom not the best for anyone concerned.? Each one of your points as you unravel this is worthy of deeper introspection. Thank you :-).

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