KNOW THYSELF

Your identity is comprised of your beliefs, the categories you place yourself in, and the raster through which you view the world.

If you want to understand your identity better, try this exercise by answering the following questions:

1. How do you present yourself in a work environment?

2. How do you present yourself at a party?

3. How do you present yourself on vacation overseas?

4. How do you present yourself to a child?

5. How do you present yourself to someone you are romantically interested in?

These questions will help you identify the categories you place yourself in.

Next, consider the things that offend you or make you feel angry or ashamed. Reflect on specific moments when you experienced these strong negative emotions.

These were moments when your core beliefs were challenged. Make a list.

Finally, think about people you admire and those you don’t. This can include famous people or individuals from your environment. Ask yourself:

- What is good about them?

- What is bad about them?

- What do you want that they have?

- What do you want to achieve that they have achieved?

- What do you want to represent that they represent?

Make a list. This represents the raster through which you view the world and give it meaning.

The left side of our brain is responsible for constructing, repairing, and protecting our sense of self—our identity. It works extremely hard to maintain its integrity, much like it works to keep our physical integrity safe.

But here is the problem: your identity can become a prison. Most psychological problems people suffer from are caused by rigid and false beliefs, categories, and perspectives. Let me give some examples:

• You are not your past traumas. Those traumas are events that happened to you; they do not have to define you.
• Your worth is not determined by what others say. If you are not valued in one environment, seek a new one. You don’t have to please a tyrant.
• You are not your work, your title, or your position.
• You are not your money, the people you know, or the car you drive.

Your identity is not fixed. It changes:

• When you become a mother or a father, you are not the same as before.
• A young Formula One driver is different when in the car compared to when he is with his mother.
• In your hometown, you are one of the locals. In a foreign country, you are the exception.

Knowing your identity gives you power. You can understand your boundaries, your actions, and even your emotions. You can choose what is important, what keeps you chained, and what changes can free you.

Above all, defining your identity gives you control over your life. You get to choose what you believe, what is important, and how you see the world. If you don’t define your identity, others will do it for you.

Carmen López. Business Psychology.

#identity #carmenlopez #businesspsychology