Knock, Knock....

It's Sunday and soon I will worship The Lord Jesus at the church I attend. I have been working so very much it will be good to be in church and be reminded of the purpose of my life and that I serve the very King of this world, Jesus Christ. I don't do that perfectly and some days, probably not well at all, but I am trying. I began my day as I always do, reading something from a meditation book I have and scripture from a bible that was given to me many years ago in a place I didn't enjoy at all. I was reflecting on my life and I want to write and utilize the self serving bias we all possess so I can look good. After all, it's LinkedIn. I just don't believe I can look good and be useful to our God. I would rather be useful. So I will do my best to be honest and authentic.

I am a man who has been homeless and hopeless, I have most certainly made more mistakes than many. I have known great joy and I have known great pain. I have hurt and wondered how I would ever survive. I have tried to sleep on a piece of concrete that smelled of urine in broad daylight in a vacant lot next to the Stratosphere Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. I worked the prayer tent on the Las Vegas Strip on the one month anniversary of the largest mass shooting in United States history. I nearly attended that concert. I remember walking up to a young girl to bring her a bottle of water as she was kneeling by the crosses someone has sent to Las Vegas to honor those killed. Fifty eight crosses representing each victim and I understand there has been another death as a result of that shooting. I walked up to that young girl to bring her a bottle of water and a man began to walk toward me in an apparent effort to protect her. I said, "I'm working the prayer tent and I was just bringing her a bottle of water." He replied, "That's my daughter, he shot her. She just got out of the hospital today. She's twelve years old." My God, what would possess someone to break a window in the Mandalay Bay Hotel and Casino and randomly shoot so many people? I remember driving in Las Vegas the morning after that shooting and hearing all the police sirens and seeing all the police vehicles running around wondering what was going on before I learned of the shooting. I remember being homeless in that city. I know what it's like to stand in line at the Salvation Army Mission or Catholic Charities to try to get a shower and a place to sleep for the night. I remember waking up at 6:00 A.M. and walking to the bus stop in front of Catholic Charities dragging that suitcase with my worldly belongings and watching people smoke meth at the bus stop. I would ride the bus to the Stratosphere Hotel and Casino and tip the bellman five bucks to watch my suitcase for the day so I could try to find a solution, some kind of work that might pay a livable wage. I read an article in the newspaper about how the city was giving hundreds of thousands of dollars to the Salvation Army and Catholic Charities to aid in the effort to house and care for the homeless. I will tell you what I did next. I dragged my suitcase one day about two miles or more, as I recall, to speak to the Clark County Commissioners, two of whom were running for governor of Nevada. I put my name on the list to speak to them. When my name was called I went up to the podium and shared my story with them. I told them I was homeless, my name is Mark Durham, and I'm originally from the state where our governors make our license plates, Illinois. They snickered as our last three governors in Illinois have been to prison as I recall. The last one is now housed in the Federal Penitentiary outside of Denver right now. I told them they were getting ready to allocate hundreds of thousands of dollars to The Salvation Army and Catholic Charities and that they would be throwing that money away. That is what this country generally does, throw money at a problem. I told them that we all know many people who are homeless have drug and alcohol problems. Some have mental health issues. I told them I was a man who raised three children by myself without the benefit of child support and that I didn't have a drug problem. I told them to look at the suitcase I had just dragged more that two miles with that broken wheel, yes, I remember that broken wheel. I told them I had been self-employed most of my life and that the country of Finland had lowered their homeless population significantly because they had decided to put homeless people in housing first. You see if a person has a substance abuse problem, it's difficult to work on any problem if a person doesn't have a place to sleep, to shower and shave. I made my little speech to the commissioners and left. I later sent one of them a package and I told them if they made a position for me, I had the ability and the background to help. I never heard from anyone. This nation continues to throw money at its problems. I, incidentally, do not have a drug problem. I have drug solution. His name is Jesus Christ.

I still remember brother Harry from South Africa picking me up on Saturday mornings so I could attend the Gideon prayer breakfast. I remember how those brothers loved and cared for me. That is why I still belong to the Las Vegas Gideon camp while I reside in Denver, Colorado. You know I have some very poor experience with the legal profession and I need to correct the record. I have known a couple of outstanding lawyers. They have been the exception, not the rule. I was listening to the Wayne Allyn Root radio broadcast one day and heard a tax lawyer's advertisement on the radio. I was homeless and seeking employment. I left a message on that lawyer's answering machine practically in tears. That Beverly Hills lawyer forwarded my message to Wayne and his staff called me. Wayne Allyn Root is the Kingmaker of Las Vegas. He is a nationally syndicated conservative radio broadcast host, a best selling author, went to school with Barack Obama, and ran for Vice President of the United States with the Libertarian Party at one time. I believe he was also the chair of the Republican, Donald Trump for President campaign in the state of Nevada. Wayne sent my GoFundme link to his more than 13,000 strong personal email list and has had me on his radio broadcast twice. He helped me raise $ 5,000.00 for my GoFundMe campaign and helped me get my car back after having my first vehicle ever, repossessed. He helped me get my vehicle back so I could work. Wayne is also a best selling author and a very good human being in my opinion. I am honored to call him "friend and brother." I have helped work the prayer tent with the Gideon Ministry in downtown Denver with David Clifton Ministries while they fed the homeless and lost in downtown Denver. I have walked in downtown Denver and viewed people sucking on a crack pipe in broad daylight. I have great compassion and love for God's broken, addicted, lost children. We can each get lost. I need to testify that we can also, "Each be found, saved, redeemed and delivered by the very blood of Christ."

I could share many stories about the injustice I have seen, the pain I have felt, and I am all too well aware of the fact, that I am not alone. You know I have probably eighty percent law enforcement connections, some first responder connections, and many social worker connections here on LinkedIn. I have have had my beautiful blonde haired blue eyed daughter Zadie take her own life. I spent three years of my life and more than $ 80,000.00 in attorney's fees fight for that child in a McHenry County, Illinois courtroom trying to love a child I was never permitted to see longer that four hours! All while I had the sole care, custody, and control of three minor children. In the end I signed away my parental rights to that child in tears because I nearly had a breakdown fighting for her while I bankrupted a business and the court continued to reward a clearly unfit mother! My child found me after many years as I knew she one day would. A Littleton, Colorado police detective found my daughter hanging from a tree. She hung herself. She had been there for two days. Anyone who doesn't understand my many times disdain for the legal profession should know what it is like to go through that. I cry every time I think about my child. She was beautiful. I also know we have many other young people, veterans, and law enforcement personnel taking their own lives today. I hope each of you find some amount of hope in this story. This world is not our home. My home is in Heaven. I gave my life to Jesus. I don't want it back.

Let me get to the important part of this article. This world doesn't have to be about Republicans and Democrats or Independent voters. We don't need to view each other as black, white, yellow or purple, gay or straight, the people in the white hats or the black hats. Maybe we can find something that unites us? It's nearly Christmas again. It's almost the day our God sent His only Son, our solution to the things that separate us. The only hope in all of human history for mankind. I have some very strong opinions myself and I'm a fighter. I don't quit easily, not anything. I need to remember that this world is not my home, and that I need to surrender, to stop fighting. We each have a God who will fight for us. I can't begin to imagine what many law enforcement officers, first responders, and social workers must listen to, see, and be a part of in this dying world. I can only share with you that I have known my own pain. It was a police officer friend of mine who once told me, "There are two ways people change, inspiration and desperation." I am grateful to have been the recipient of those two gifts. I am called to keep what I have by giving it away. One of the most rewarding things I get to do being in business is to be able to help others. I cannot express to you the joy and gratitude I feel to be able to be the hands and feet of Jesus in this world. I have been through the Cook County Jail in Chicago on bible distributions with the Gideon Ministry. When we went through the facility I would ask the inmates, "How many of you like to fight?" I would seem many raised hands a men speaking up, "I do, I do!" Then I would tell them, "We came to tell you something. You're fighting on the wrong team." Our God permits us to switch sides in a moment's notice." He forgives, He redeems, He loves like nobody else ever could. I have been honored to be able to pray with Cook County corrections officers that work in that jail. Our God can take a wall and build a bridge. I pray this Christmas more of my connections will be able to accept The Lord Jesus Christ as their own personal Savior. I don't hate anyone from another faith. Our God is love. There is one way to Him, through His Son, Jesus. Nobody gets won to my way of thinking through self righteous indignation. People get won to The Kingdom of Heaven with our God's love. That is what I need to get better at sharing. I am sorry for my own shortcomings and strong opinions. If you are a person feeling you have no hope today, don't believe it for a moment. God made you with a purpose. He doesn't make junk. He knows what He's doing in each of our lives all the time. Get out of your head, learn to live in your heart. Because when we do that, we are already home. There is a war going on in our world. It's the same war that has been waged since Adam took that bite from that apple. My daughter Jamie, gave me a new grandson only a day ago in Austin, Texas. May he grow up to be another soul saving soldier in the Army of Christ, may he be on the winning team.

Merry Christmas to my many LinkedIn connections as we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. As I read on that note while I worked the prayer tent on the one month anniversary of the largest mass shooting in United States history on the strip in Las Vegas, "Darkness cannot drive our darkness, only light can do that." Jesus Christ is the only light this world has ever known. I also remember when living in Las Vegas that I went to a Goodwill employment center. I remember the retired military officer who gave me that little seed sticking to that piece of scotch tape. He told me all you need is this,"The faith of a mustard seed." It was mustard seed he had stuck to that piece of tape. Think about the many places our God has had His hand in your life, caring for you, when you couldn't see it. Jesus Christ is The Truth, The Light, and The Way........Don't be lost....Get found.....