Knock-knock
Jenny Robinson PhD
★ Leadership Development ★ Expert in the Collaborative Leadership and Mindfulness ★Author ★ Coach ★
What the door handle moment in a doctor's surgery can teach us about leadership
Having spoken to the doctor for seven or eight minutes about some troublesome worry, a patient gets up to leave and with their hand on the door turns to say, “just one other thing…”.
This is the door handle moment. For a GP, it is the moment they understand “this” is the real issue. For every leader reading this, this truism explains why it’s time to flip your meetings around.
What happens at the end of a conversation is so important and so common, it is taught in med school and the remedy is simple: ask the right questions.
Two questions matter most:
· What’s really important for us to talk about?
· What’s happening, or not happening, as a result?
Now. Challenge yourself. When was the last time you asked such open questions? More-to-the-point, when did you listen to the answers of such open questions with truly open ears.
Go on admit it. Most of us only ask these types of questions in the closing moments of a meeting, and, only once the conversation has satisfied our needs.
Really excellent leaders start with these questions, and you should too.
Show that you are there to listen, that you are more interested in what others would like to talk about and not what you need to offload.
It's not completely unselfish. There's a big incentive for you too.
Consider that strategies often fail because senior executives have not paid sufficient attention to “weak signals” – signals that others in the business correctly identified as being of strategic importance.
These signals could be about opportunities or threats but they are often missed by leaders simply because they failed to create the time and space for people to share their insights.
Asking questions and really listening, you will find out things you’d never know. You turn weak signals into strong ones and you still have the time to discuss whatever's on your list.
Better for you, better for the person sitting with you.
Try it today. Flip your meeting around and start with a couple of genuinely open questions.
By doing so, you’ve just created a door handle moment before people leave the room…
Hi Jenny, have you any experience of using the first question when meeting CEOs/executive leaders? You've applied them to a context of leading people, but in circumstances where the relationship is strong (respected, trusted etc.) and advice given is welcome and wanted, I would be tempted to direct that question upwards to improve the quality of the conversation and get straight to the tackling their needs.
Keynote speaker & blogger
8 年So simple with profound impact. Asking the right questions and really listening - what's not being said as much as what is being said.
Director of Creative Rule Breaking (Live Events)
8 年The questions: “What’s really important for us to talk about?” and “What’s happening, or not happening, as a result?” are good open questions ... but often the response is along the lines of: "I’m sorry, I can't talk about it”. That’s when you need to be prepared to express that they don't HAVE to say anything they don't want to … and that you would like to know why they feel that they cannot tell you. Then, (sometimes) sharing a personal story of a hurt or a time when trust was misplaced (and how you felt about that) then gives them greater capacity to trust you … and the meaningful dialogue can commence. The ability to offer genuine warmth, proper empathy and what is known as “Unconditional Positive Regard” is what really matters here. (the basic acceptance and support of a person regardless of what the person says or does) This is the micro-moment (as you say, ‘the door-handle-moment’) However, something similar needs to be in place (on a company-wide scale) to encourage this level of dialogue / interchange ... It’s called ‘Team Listening’ (and it is completely different to 'Team Briefing' or ‘Two-way dialogue with the top' or 'bright idea' initiatives) … but that’s another story!