Kindness ≠ Pleasing
Barbara Vercruysse
Global Kindness Advocate | Operational Excellence | Transformation Management | Leadership Thinker & Mentor | President PWI-Brussels | Public Speaker | Top 10 Thought Leaders on Mental Health | Bestselling Author
One of the reasons kindness is often perceived as weakness, is that kindness is confused with pleasing. And nothing could be further from truth: kindness is not about people pleasing at all.
People pleasing is operating from a place of weakness
You give your power and authenticity away to chase the approval from someone else. Desperately looking for outside approval, being overly dependent on the appreciation of someone else, is a sign that you think that without that approval or appreciation, you are not worthy.
Kindness is very different. Kindness is a choice, kindness comes from a powerful place within you.
When you are able to be kind to a rude person, it is because you know that the rudeness of the other person has nothing to do with you.?
It requires self-discipline and a very strong sense of self-confidence and self-esteem to stay kind to a rude person, to stay outside the negativity of the unkind one, and to not be triggered by it.
A kind person is a person who has dealt with his inner demons, his insecurities and old wounds, who has done a lot of personal work and has come to a great self-understanding, a deep compassion and wisdom.?
A kind person doesn't need any approval or appreciation for his/her act of kindness and does it because he so much understand the human condition, and knows the power of a kind words, a kind gesture.
So stop people pleasing, stop chasing outside approval (there is nothing wrong with feeling grateful for appreciation and support as long as you do not become dependent on it and start changing your behavior in order to get more approval and appreciation).
Live from a place where you know at your core that you are a loving, kind and worthy being and share that with the world.
Your kindness, your strong sense of self-worth, dignity and grace will spill over to those around you; you become an inspiration and role model for others. And those role models of powerful kindness are so much needed in the world today.
May you be guided by kindness in all you say and do.
Much love, Barbara
PS for more info: https://www.barbaravercruysse.com/
As your Certified Professional Coach, I help you become an exceptional leader, grow in your career, uncover your true career passion for a career transition, and hold you accountable to achieve all of your goals.
2 年Great article!
Aspiring Attorney - Attorney Brand Advisor committed to authentic legal leadership. "Empowering attorneys to transform their brands with vulnerability and authenticity. Author-in-progress. "Ask Mr. Vulnerability ?
2 年Awesome share Barbara Vercruysse
Bachelor's Degree Candidate At Indiana State University
2 年As always, I #LOVE reading your Newsletters, Barbara Vercruysse!!! ? They are always so #Insightful!! ?? I always like to make note of what stuck out to me the most, with #MyBiggestTakeaway. Here, I have #MoreThanOne: ?? 1. One of the reasons kindness is often perceived as weakness, is that kindness is confused with pleasing. 2. People-pleasing is operating from a place of weakness. 3. Kindness is a choice. Kindness comes from a powerful place within you.
Business Coaching | Advisor | Investor | Podcast Host @ The Proven Entrepreneur Show | 6X Author
2 年Brilliant article, Barbara Vercruysse! Thanks for sharing valuable content.
--Aviation facts & development...
2 年Thank you for sharing ????