Kindness Matters

Happy Friday, I hope your week was great! Man, ol’ man, in Texas, it has been HOT! When I think of the current conditions, I also think about the seasons and how everything has a time and season. I will definitely be even more grateful for the fall and spring months when they come around. I began writing this article earlier in the morning as I sat to think about this week's focus and encounters, what came to mind was Kindness. In a world full of tension, disappointment, and mistrust, being kind is something we all can work towards improving. The spectrum is vast, and the pendulum may swing; however, there is an opportunity to be a little kinder to people in general.

I have people in my world that are always kind, and I have people that I can count on to be unkind, disengaged, and plain old unhappy. In recent years, I learned a valuable lesson: DO NOT INTERNALIZE OTHER PEOPLE'S UNHAPPINESS. I learned this by trial and error; sometimes, I wondered about the role I played in others' unpleasant behaviors. I have a high sense of self-awareness and emotional intelligence, and often I look inward to find solutions, this works sometimes, but some people are miserable from the inside out. Lesson number two, IT'S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OTHERS.

My uncle is an older man and hilarious, but one thing he has said to me over the past fifteen years is that “association brings on simulation” in other words, be careful whom you spend your time and energy on. It reminded me of Law #10 from the 48 Laws of Power - Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and the Unlucky. The author, Robert Greene, states: “People who are perpetually miserable spread misery like an infection, and they'll drown you in it. Avoid these people like the plague. Conversely, if you associate with happy people, you'll share in the good fortune they attract and spread.” Guard your heart, mind, and peace at all costs; if something or someone costs you your peace, it costs too much. Some people think they display some form of power by being rigid and unkind, but it is the opposite of what they believe. It reminds me of a quote I read: "Kindness is the highest form of intelligence."

Every day you have a choice to make an impact on others. I challenge you to be the reason someone smiles, not the fake smile that does not match the eyes, but a genuine smile. Kindness matters; I have encountered many people from several countries, states, schools, and even Zumba that thrive off of kind encounters. In fact, I walked into Zumba class after returning from vacation, thinking no one even noticed I was gone. Upon arrival, the instructor yelled, "your back!" all I could do was smile. Afterward, she said she missed my energy and gave a big smile. My kindness mattered; there was not a hierarchy of title, no money exchanged, only happiness, and engagement.

Today, I received a message from a young man whom I went on a tour of Europe with several years ago. His aunt, Renee, went too, she and I went to graduate school together, and she was one of the kindest ladies I have ever met. She and I signed up for the tour and hit six countries together. She was such an engaged aunt; she brought Jordan along with the adults, he was only 16 years old at the time, but we wrapped our loving arms around him and explored everywhere from England to Germany. During the trip, she had upgrades and contacts from her career in aviation. She took me under her wing and gave me access to everything that she was experiencing from the private cabin on the boat to the bullet train.

Why did she do it? Simply because she was kind. Several months after the trip, she reached out and stated, “Hey Nef, you have a son, right?" I said, "Yep!" She asked me to bring him down to the Delta aviation camp. I was like, oh no, I can't afford that. She insisted that I come. I did, and guess what? It was the time of my son's life; not only did he complete the camp, but he also gained flying hours and even flew a plane at 16 years old! I received the message today informing me that she passed last night. It bruised my heart to the core; we all have an expiration date, but the world lost someone kind to others without an expectation.

"Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends. It softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lifetimes". Kindness itself can give you or others instant gratification or can be a seed that you plant for a garden that you never get to see grow.

Nonetheless, it will make the world a better-off place. You can pay it forward and can be an example for others to repeat good deeds. If you are wondering how it can benefit you directly, here are a couple of direct benefits:

1.?????Kindness can make you and others happier and more fulfilled.

2.?????Kindness can reduce stress and increase optimism.

3.?????Kindness is contagious and can boost morale, especially in a group setting or within teams.

Does that sound good to you? It sounds excellent to me! According to Bob Kerry, Kindness, especially unexpected Kindness, is the most powerful, least costly, and underrated agent of human change. If you are not being kind, try to be and see how your life changes. If people are unkind to you, change your circle or circumstances. We are all deserving of respect, love, and KINDNESS. Until next week…. CHEERS!

My dear friend left this world yesterday, but one thing she did is live her life to the fullest. I will leave you with one of my fondest memories of her. While traveling, we danced in the rain in Normandy, France, and when it began to rain, we said to one another: "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass… It's about learning to dance in the rain." And we smiled and danced.