Kindness and the Interview

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. — Aesop.

Choose To Be Nice, Kind, and Gracious.? That will define you.

We cannot choose how others treat us. We can only choose how we treat others. How we treat others should be a choice that reflects our character -- not a reaction to other people's character.? "If you need to choose between being kind and being right, choose to be kind and you will always be right."? Being known, by others, to be ‘right’ doesn’t always matter whereas to be kind is always of great importance, even if your pride has to be swallowed in the act. Caring about the feelings of others enough to ‘let go’ is best.

I know it sounds trite, but choosing to be kind in the face of any adversity will help you in whatever your current crisis might be, and that kindness will also assist you in managing your future responses.

A few weeks ago, a small post about an act of kindness and the reactions from it, got me thinking about how this applies to the job search, and in our professional lives.? Whenever I was hiring someone, I was always looking for someone with a positive, can-do attitude.? I’m going to be spending 8-10 hours a day with this person, and I don’t want to be surrounded by a “negative-nelly” who will put a damper not just on my day, but all of those in the office.? So, regardless of skills (I can teach skills), first and foremost, I was always looking for people with an uplifting positive kind personality.

So, how do you project positivity and kindness in the job search:

1. Never say anything negative or disparaging about a co-worker (present or past),
2. Never say anything negative or disparaging about a supervisor (present or past),
3. Never say anything negative or disparaging about your company (present or past),
4. Never ghost anyone, when setting up the interview, in receipt of an offer, or lieu of sending a decline note,
5. Always reply with a thank you note after the interview,
6. Always send a thank you note when you accept the job,
7. Always send a thank you note if you decline the offer,
8. Always send a thank you note if you don't get the job offer,
9. Always be nice to EVERYONE you meet, the person at the door, the front desk, in the elevator, at the coffee shop, because the interview begins before you think it does!
10. Smile often and always be gracious.

Don’t fall into the interview trap of answering negatively?when the person asks questions like: “Who was your worst boss you ever had and why?”? or even a simple question: “Why did you leave company XYZ?”?? You always want to remain positive.? Practice answering with kind answers.

It doesn’t take much to be kind. Sometimes being kind just means to listen without interruption, help without asking questions, and be there for another person when they don’t know how to ask for it.

Practice compassion.? Kindness creates a foundation for compassion. Together they define the quality of our relationships with other people, whether it is personal or professional. At each moment of our lives, someone, somewhere, needs kindness.

• Every day people endure stressful jobs, demanding relationships, and backbreaking responsibilities.
• Every day people battle life-threatening diseases, face uncertain futures, and struggle to survive.

It’s not results that soothe our souls; it’s actions. In a difficult world, kindness has amazing power. Kindness means seeing with open eyes. Too many of us believe we have no power to make a difference. I have entertained the thought many times. You don’t have to eradicate world hunger. Simply do something good every day and help change the world by creating a culture of kindness, one small act at a time.

It is often said that “What you do for others energizes the universe. What you do for the universe energizes you.” So, go slowly. Breathe, smile, and be present. Seek opportunities to make a difference, embrace the moments, and be grateful for every choice you make.

Make no mistake — being kind is not easy. Kindness requires conscious effort, slowing down, and creativity in our language and expression. ?Kindness is not for the faint of heart or those in a hurry. And it’s always, always, a choice.

“Be kind, be useful, be fearless”

Those powerful words above were the outgoing ones of President Obama when speaking to the White House interns in his final days of office.

His chosen wisdoms for the future generations were not about performance, they were about character.

He did not say “be the best”, or “be the biggest” or “outsmart your competition”.

He said be kind. be useful. be fearless.

In essence, the President said be of service to others first and be courageous about it.? Wise words.

Here are 5 things you can do to bring kindness:

1)?????? Open your eyes - ?a metaphor for being present to others.? It means noticing when people are suffering or in need, especially if they don’t vocalize it.

2)?????? Be empathetic - Try to understand people from their perspective.? Recognize that sometimes, even if you’re feeling angry or frustrated with somebody, that they may be going through things in their life.? You can’t control that, however, you can control your ability to behave differently if you consider their circumstances.

3)?????? Bring generosity - Give up your seat, hold open a door, give a genuine compliment, make someone a cup of tea, offer support, give praise, and be gracious.? ?“Kindness begins as a thought and ends as an action”.?? Small acts can have massive ripples in the world.

4)?????? Pause when you feel you might be unkind- Notice if you’re feeling the urge to withhold kindness or be unkind – e.g. if someone barged into you on your commute or maybe if someone at work has given some critical feedback you disagree with – your instant reaction is unlikely to be kindness. However, take a breath & step away - see if your perspective changes.?

5)?????? Be in service to others- Your acts of kindness can potentially lift someone up when they expect it least.? Kindness is gifted, rather than sought, so you can have a powerful and generous impact on other people.

Kindness as a way of being gives you access to reducing your stress, being lighter in life, and helping you be more present.? Being kind is like a muscle, it will grow the more it is used.

“We carry with us, as human beings, not just the capacity to be kind, but the very choice of kindness.”

Wherever you are in the world, at work, school, home, or just out and about, do yourself a favor, choose kindness, and "Be a blessing. Be the change. Let your words heal and not wound. Let your presence make a difference today." Because one of the most important things I’ve learned is that every one of us can change the world, with one act of kindness at a time.