Kindness Improves Mental Strength & Social Connection

Our first social group is our family, and research shows that strong family functioning is associated with better cognitive development and social engagement in kids. Resilience research demonstrates that engaging in acts of kindness and responding to others with compassion can improve quality of life.

One study of 38 mothers and their pre-school children (ages 3-5 years) who participated in an online kindness curriculum increased prosocial empathy in the children and resilience levels in the moms. Resilience is described in the study as “an individual’s ability to positively adapt in the face of adversity.”

Another study examined the link between a kindness intervention and memory impairment in participants with depression. Depression can impair cognition and behavior. A group of 50 participants who suffer from depression were divided into an unconditional kindness intervention group and a coloring control group, and after 4 weeks of daily 10-minute practice, the kindness intervention group showed an improvement in their memory recall.

A third study involved 122 participants with moderate to severe symptoms of anxiety and depression. The participants were divided into 3 groups who practiced 3 different interventions for 5 weeks:

• Social Planning: they planned social activities for 2 days a week
• Cognitive Reappraisal: they practiced identifying negative thought patterns and reframing them using techniques designed to reduce anxiety and depression for 2 days a week
• Acts of Kindness: they performed 3 acts of kindness per day for 2 days a week.

The Acts of Kindness group experienced greater social connection than the other 2 groups and greater improvement in anxiety and depression symptoms and life satisfaction than the Cognitive Reappraisal group.

One practice that enhances self-compassion, as well as empathy for others, is lovingkindness meditation (LKM). LKM is a reflection designed to extend happiness and peace to yourself and others. There are several ways to practice LKM, but most apply the mantra to oneself, then to loved ones, and finally to all people or beings. Here are two examples:

Jack Kornfield’s LKM?is:

May I be filled with lovingkindess. May I be safe from inner and outer dangers. May I be well in body and mind. May I be at ease and happy.

Followed by:

May you be filled with lovingkindess. May you be safe from inner and outer dangers. May you be well in body and mind. May you be at ease and happy.

Another version begins:

May I be happy. May I be safe. May I be healthy, peaceful, and strong. May I give and receive appreciation today.

Followed by:

May you be happy. May you be safe. May you be healthy, peaceful, and strong. May you give and receive appreciation today.

Takeaway: Kindness is mutually beneficial. It improves the lives of others, while enhancing empathy, resilience, memory, and social connection, and improving symptoms of anxiety and depression.

Well-being is a journey, not a quick fix.

My book, The Legal Brain: A Lawyer’s Guide to Well-being and Better Job Performance, is available at Barnes and Noble and Amazon.

Sources

Maria Teresa Johnson, et al., Frontiers | Parenting With a Kind Mind: Exploring Kindness as a Potentiator for Enhanced Brain Health, March 23, 2022.

Amanda Lathan and Barbara Dritschel, Increasing autobiographical memory specificity: Using kindness meditation to impact features of memory retrieval | PLOS ONE, June 28, 2023.

David R. Cregg and Jennifer S. Cheavens, Full article: Healing through helping: an experimental investigation of kindness, social activities, and reappraisal as well-being interventions, December 12, 2022.

Jack Kornfield, Meditation on Lovingkindness, Nov. 2, 2016, Meditation On Lovingkindness - Jack Kornfield.

Elizabeth Scott, Ph.D., How to Practice Loving Kindness Meditation, Feb. 11, 2020, How to Practice Loving Kindness Meditation (verywellmind.com).