Kindness: The Foundation for Empowerment

Although National Love is Kind Day, July 27th, is a day set aside to honor those who have escaped domestic violence or domestic abuse, it is also a day that calls each of us to ask; how can I be a kinder person??

That journey begins with being kind to yourself! It is the foundation for empowerment.

For years I confused kindness with people pleasing. Although I did not realize that I was approval seeking person, others knew it. So much so that my workplace superior once said, “Janet, as long as your face is in the top Achiever magazine, I think you’d work here for free!"?

OUCH!

That was October of 1987! Perhaps it’s why when BeautiControl was planning the National Leadership Conference in Dallas, Texas that same superior asked me to teach a workshop titled, The Marriage of Self-Esteem & Performance. Further, he assigned me to teach it to the highest level of leaders of which I was not. Hmmm, intimidating???

What I learned in the 3-month preparation process was that I struggled with low self-worth. I had to come full circle by recognizing that much of my kindness was for the wrong reasons and in my giving, I was completely exhausting myself.?

Today, I recognize that the purest form of helping others is not done for the benefit of other people. It is not done for applause. It is done as an expression of one’s self.?

In other words, kind people don’t seek credit, work for their name to appear in a magazine, or have an expectation of being appreciated and recognized by others. They delight in the act of kindness itself.

Allow me me introduce you to the kindest person I know, my 37-year-old daughter, Sara Nicole Cronstedt.?At 6 years old Sara was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. Anyone who has known Sara through the years, would say that they never knew her struggles because her focus has always been on genuinely bringing joy to others.??

Sara’s kindness is not big or extravagant. Yet it is evident in so many ways. She’s never judgmental, always honest, listens so well you can feel it, and completely respects the feelings and needs of others. She gives as an expression of herself.?

Whether it’s making and delivering valentine goodie bags to her best friend's kids, sending beautifully written cards to long-distance grandparents and family members just to let them know she’s thinking of them, baking cookies to help someone sad smile, or simply giving a soft answer when someone’s anger deserves anything but a kind response, Sara’s lives her highest value, kindness.

One of my favorite Sara stories is a fairly recent one. We had traveled to the Mayo Clinic for a prep visit regarding Sara’s hopeful upcoming kidney transplant. The 3 previous transplant attempts had failed. We were sitting in the waiting room, anxious about news we might receive. The room was filled with about a dozen other equally anxious folks, hoping to hear the words, "You are eligible for a transplant".?

I was stunned as I observed my daughter’s actions. She was laser-focused on calming the fears of others. She listened, encouraged each person with a nod, smile, or comment, shared funny stories about her personal journey, and somehow managed to get everyone to share something about themselves. She visibly changed the climate in that waiting room from fear to community! By the time her name was called, Sara had hugged each patient, and gotten their contact information so she could keep in touch with them.?

I had never seen anything like what I observed.

Sara's appreciation for life is indescribable and contagious. She recognizes the blessing of every day. In her own words, she says; “I may have a weak body Mom, but God has given me a strong spirit.”?

I think it is that attitude that heals her heart and the hearts of others. It is kindness in action, a true expression of Sara herself, and the empowerment she needs to continue to fight for her life and infect others in their fight along the way!?

Kindness is caring and compassionate, and how we share the love with others.?

What the world needs now is love sweet love

It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of

Not just for some, but for everyone!

Jackie DeShannon

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Let’s do this kindness thing, better together!

With love,

Janet