Kindness as a Catalyst for Connection: My Experiment in Intentional Interactions

What Would Happen If We Approach Every Interaction with Intentional Kindness?

In the fast-paced environment of the #HLTH2024 conference, I decided to test a simple yet profound hypothesis:

Kindness is the creator of connection. The more kindness, the easier the connection.

The idea for this "mini-unscientific social experiment" emerged from a theory I’ve held for years, which goes something like this:

When we enter every interaction with the intent to “add more to the moment,” (the More Effect ) we create a better experience, not just for ourselves but for others.

In this way, kindness becomes a deposit into another’s emotional bank account, fostering trust, positivity, and a lasting bond.

However, I must admit—this was a stretch for me. As someone who leans more introverted than extroverted, pushing myself to intentionally engage with others took me out of my comfort zone. But in hindsight, I’m grateful I did. This experiment not only showed me the power of intentional kindness but also revealed how stepping outside our nature can lead to rewarding, unexpected connections.

The Hypothesis

My hypothesis was straightforward: kindness can significantly deepen and accelerate human connection. When approached with genuine care, a desire to uplift others, and to learn who they are, interactions become less transactional and more transformational. So, I set out to bring this theory to life, one interaction at a time, with everyone I encountered at HLTH.

The Experiment: Adding More to Each Moment

Throughout the conference, I challenged myself to make each interaction meaningful. Whether it was at a coffee stand waiting in line talking about #PARITYNOW , as I sat awaiting a presentation to start, or in a passing conversation, I consciously asked, "How can I add more to this moment?"

• At Starbucks: On three different occasions (I drank a lot of iced lattes and Periers at #HLTH2024), when the guest in front of me was having a difficult time with their Tap-to-pay, I paid it pay-it-forward. Once, Starbucks even returned the favor to me. What began as a small gesture turned into smiles and greetings of hello.
• In Conversations: I made an effort to listen deeply, asking questions to understand rather than to respond. My goal was to genuinely connect, hoping my attention and interest would leave people feeling heard and valued.
• With New Connections: For every person I met, I aimed to make a deposit into their “emotional bank account.” This meant showing empathy, offering encouragement, and helping wherever I could. I discovered that each act, no matter how small, added richness to how I felt after parting ways.
• At the bar: Bartenders and barbacks are some of the most interesting people in the world. From Cut to Yardbird Southern Table and Bar, usually over a whiskey, I struck up conversation about Las Vegas, to talk sports and politics, and mostly to learn about them.

The Impact of Frequency and Length of Time on Connection

One of the most interesting aspects of this experience was observing how the frequency and length of interactions shaped the start of each relationship. I noticed that the more frequently I interacted with someone, even in brief moments, the stronger our bond became. Familiarity built comfort, and each encounter added a layer of trust and ease to the connection.

In one particular instance (I won't mention names), meeting by chance of where we sat in Starbucks, spending an extended time with someone led to something even more meaningful—the start of a friendship. This reinforced the idea that while kindness can be a powerful starting point, it’s the ongoing, intentional investment of attention and interest that builds relationships.

Insights on Emotional Deposits

This concept of “emotional deposits” is simple: when we intentionally approach others with kindness and care, we make a deposit that builds trust, deepens bonds, and creates a positive outcome in the interaction. The currency of these deposits is in the intangible—our time, empathy, attention, and willingness to connect on a human level.

Each of us carries an emotional bank account, filled with our experiences of others’ kindness or indifference. When we add to others’ accounts, we enrich their lives in ways that are often unspoken but deeply felt. Over time, these deposits can transform relationships and elevate the experience of everyone involved.

Pushing Beyond My Comfort Zone

For someone more naturally inclined toward introversion, initiating these moments of connection was both a challenge and a learning experience. Often, I find myself most comfortable with a book while sitting a bar having a quiet bite to eat rather than stepping into broader social dynamics. But this experiment reminded me that stepping out of our usual patterns can unlock remarkable outcomes.

It’s important to mention that there was nothing “scripted” or “fake” about these interactions. Though I approached each moment with intention, I was simply offering my full self to every conversation, aiming to be as present, open, and genuine as possible with the other person. Each interaction reinforced my belief that kindness can transcend personality types and open doors to unexpected friendships and connections.

The Power of Reciprocity: My Own Emotional Bank Account

As much as I tried to fill others’ emotional bank accounts, what surprised me most was how full my own account felt by the end of the event. The kindness I extended was reciprocated in ways that went beyond my expectations. I encountered familiar faces multiple times over the days, and each time, I was met with warmth, genuine interest, and even gratitude. I realized that these small deposits of kindness had created a network of connections that continued to grow richer with every encounter. Each subsequent interaction added layers to these relationships, creating a powerful sense of belonging and community that I hadn’t anticipated.

The reciprocity I experienced reinforced my belief that kindness, when given freely and without expectation, often comes back in ways that leave a lasting impact. It’s a reminder that kindness is a two-way street, and by investing in others, we often find ourselves the richer for it.

Call for Reflection and Feedback

To those I connected with at HLTH, I’d love to hear from you and your thoughts on our meeting (in the comments):

• Did you notice any difference in our interactions?
• Was there anything that resonated with you, or perhaps even stood out?

If you’re open to sharing, I’d love to know your perspective.

Conclusion: Kindness Always Wins

This experiment (again entirely unscientific, just me personally testing a theory) affirmed that kindness always wins. When used with intention it helped me create authentic, meaningful connections. Something had I leaned more toward my introverted nature, I would have missed out on.

We'd all likely agree, the world needs more kindness. Last week I learned, simply being more intentional, made a difference.

Be kind, be well,

-Jeremy

PS To those I met at HTLH, I appreciate you for connecting with me.

I invite you to read my Substack, Business at the Speed of AI or to learn more about me visit: www.jeremyvictor.com .