Kinda humor

Alright, alright, gather round! It's that time of the year again... the Year of the Green Wooden Snake. What’s that, you ask? Well, if you’re a very serious person, buckle up, ‘cause this is a joke. For the rest of us, here’s a playlist I’ve put together for all the metalheads and hackers out there. It’s all about the lyrics, folks. Not the genre, okay?

Side note: In Slavic countries, the green serpent = hard spirits addiction. So, uh, don’t be fooled by the snake, okay?

·?????? First up, we’ve got JINJER with "Green Serpent." Yeah, that’s right, don't go thinking you're gonna get some smooth jazz here. It's a metaphor for... well, you know, your relationship with alcohol. “Green Serpent” - you can guess what that means.

·?????? For those of you who are expecting RIFs... Oh, you thought we were talking ‘bout the guitar riffs, right? Nah, I’m talking about Rammstein and their “Mein Herz Brennt.” You’ll get all the burning feelings you need – no need to cry about FAANG rejections.

·?????? Speaking of which... all you folks who've been rejected after, what, 50 interviews at FAANG? I got something for you: JINJER's Judgement (& Punishment). Lyrics are everything, people. Seriously, mind the lyrics. They get you.

·?????? Oh, hackers trying to get a corporate gig? Here’s JINJER again with “Pisces”, and trust me, it’s a vocal hacker performance – and if you don’t at least listen to the first 73 seconds, you’re missing the entire vibe. It’s like hacking your soul.

·?????? Now, to everyone out there debugging someone else’s code at midnight: We’ve got ASTRAL PROJECTION with “Let There Be Light.” You’re trying to find a light at the end of that buggy tunnel, I know.

·?????? And then, for those poor souls debugging someone else’s code without the .pdb files... Yeah, I see you. Here’s Aphex Twin with “T69 Collapse.” It’s gonna collapse your mind right into the madness of missing files. I promise.

·?????? Alright, let’s mix it up a bit... you bump into another MIIS consultant with the “Open to work” badge? We’re spinning The KLF with "Justified & Ancient.” Feel that ancient wisdom as you exchange passive-aggressive nods in the coffee room.

·?????? For everyone faking weekly status reports, we got Portishead with “Over.” It’s like your weekly status report... over and done.

·?????? Now, if you’ve been scrolling LinkedIn watching the flood of certifications and achievements, it’s time to get Dalida and Alain Delon with "Paroles, paroles." You know what I’m talking about. You’re hearing words... just words.

·?????? About to speak to your hiring manager? Here’s Andrea Bocelli with "Con Te Partirò." You know, for when you’re ready to make your exit from that meeting and take a trip to your next job... after you negotiate a higher salary, of course.

·?????? For those of you doing presales in person, surrounded by your top-notch sales team? We got Black Star – Mos Def and Talib Kweli with "Definition." You’re about to define what success looks like... or at least fake it till you make it.

·?????? Returning from a business trip? You know what you need. Jay-Jay Johanson with "So Tell the Girl That I’m Back in Town." You’ve been away too long, but hey, it's good to be back!

·?????? For those struggling to accept that the cloud is the new norm? Here’s MC Solaar with “Les temps changent.” The times are changing, my friend. Just get on the cloud.

·?????? To my country folks already celebrating... Zdob si Zdub with “DJ Vasile.” No need for lyrics here... just vibe to it. Oh, and if you’re wondering what language that is, it's Romanian. Don’t ask, just dance!

·?????? And finally, to all the MIMsters and Miss MIIS... Deee-Lite with “Groove Is In the Heart.” The groove is in your heart, baby. You know it’s true.

So, there you go. A playlist for hackers, metalheads, and the rest of us who have absolutely no idea what we’re doing with our lives. Enjoy!