How festive are you feeling this year with a month to go until Christmas??‘Tis the season to be, quite honestly, stressed, exhausted and possibly depressed for too many of us.?It is a time that many of our clients who are facing emotional, financial or relationship challenges in life find very difficult.?
These are the main causes of stress and mental health challenge over the Christmas period:
- Reminders of loss / unhappy memories – special dates like Christmas can dredge up feelings of grief for loved ones who are no longer with us and be painful reminders of loss, even loss of a job, of a relationship or of an important goal that wasn’t met during the year.
- Finances and pressure to spend / get in debt?– the commercialisation of Christmas is hard to avoid and parents in particular feel pressure to make their children happy and to avoid guilt by buying things the family may not be able to afford.
- Exhaustion – time seems to speed up this time of year and on top of normal daily life demands, time needs to be found for planning, shopping and attending Christmas events.?Children are tired and cranky at the end of the school year and work demands increase before the Christmas shut-down.?Lowered defences combined with eating badly, drinking too much and not exercising can lead to feeling worn out, fragile and tense
- Family misunderstandings / toxic relatives – the combination of alcohol, simmering unresolved family tensions and time together can be explosive.?Trying to please all family members can be impossible and rushing across town to attend the next scheduled family gathering on Christmas Day can feel like obligation not fun.
- Loneliness – along with an expectation of feeling celebratory and festive, many of us have an expectation that Christmas is a time to feel and be loved up.?We are bombarded with social media images of happy family gatherings, glittering parties and crammed social calendars.?If our lives don’t match this ideal image, we can feel empty and lonely.
- Excessive self-reflection – the end of year is often a time to take stock and reflect.?There can be a tendency to focus on what has gone wrong during the year, mistakes we have made, what we don’t have and our numerous flaws.
- Be careful drinking too much alcohol in combination with known triggers like certain family members / topics.?Set realistic expectations and try to focus on children if they are around on the day.
- Set boundaries on how much you spend on gifts and the number of social events you attend.?You can give vouchers of your time as presents – making a special dinner, going to the Zoo with a child, doing someone’s garden or babysitting.
- Don't accept any perfect representation of Christmas that the media or other people try to make you believe. Drop your expectations and any attachment to what it should look like.
- Become involved in giving in a non-monetary way through charities and worthwhile causes that help less fortunate people.
- Try to feel gratitude for what you have in your life, rather than focusing on what you don't have.
- Avoid excessive negative rumination about your life, instead take action and plan to do interesting and fun things.?Take a positive inventory of your achievements, relationships, attributes and resources.
- If you are suffering loneliness, connect with friends and family.?Even if you’re separated by distance, you can stay in touch with loved ones online or by phone.?Think about attending community events.?Find out what’s on locally and get involved. Whether it’s Christmas carols or local markets, getting out and about can help relieve loneliness.
- Focus your thoughts on all the good things about Christmas - the opportunity to engage in loving kindness, generosity of spirit, and gratitude for others in your life.
- Take some control back rather than doing things the way you think you should or always have.?For instance, you may find the family obligations of the holidays overwhelming. You?have?to make the rum balls according to your grandmother’s recipe, even though you personally find them inedible. You?have?to go over to your Aunt’s for Christmas dinner, even though she always drinks too much, makes a scene, and freaks out your kids. You don’t exactly?want?to do any of these things. You just?have?to.?Ask yourself, why am I doing these things? Is it possible to do them differently?
- Look after yourself - try to get enough sleep, keep exercising and curb over-indulgence temptations.
The Christmas season can be?a tough?time for many people.?For those of us who don't have difficulties at this time of year, it's an opportunity to reach out to those who do. For those who are feeling miserable, it's an opportunity to take action to think, feel and act in ways that break free from the past.?Maintain or even create new traditions, focus outwards on the “Spirit of Christmas”, enjoy the sensual aspects without overdoing it, focus on giving thoughtful gifts and accept people for who they are, especially yourself.
If you are struggling this Christmas period, please try to be kind to yourself.?If you have someone you can talk to, reach out for support.?If you feel alone, they are many services that can help.?If your organisation has an Employee Assistance Program, you can book in an employer-funded consult. For Human Psychology EAP client organisations, we are only closed for F2F consults between 24th December and January 2nd (1300 277 924). Urgent support will be available via our parent company Assure Programs.
While some health services may be closed over the holiday season, support by trained staff is always available through the following:
- Public hospitals and 000 if an emergency
- Lifeline Australia P 13 11 14 – 24 hour counselling
- Mensline Australia 1300 78 99 78
- Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467
- beyondblue?Support Service 1300 224 636
- SA Mental Health Crisis Service 13 14 65
Director Accountability and Risk at The Fair Work Ombudsman
3 个月Brilliant article, Sam. Thank you ??