Kind Or Nice- The Real Difference In Our Interactions.

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“If you have the choice between being right and being kind, choose being kind” - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Dear Investors & Friends, ?

Welcome to this week’s Sundayreads. ?

Wishing all of you a “Shubh Deepawali!” ?

As we step into the new Samvat, I want to start by sending my heartfelt season's greetings to all of you. I hope you are having a wonderful Deepawali and are looking forward to a prosperous year ahead. ? Deepawali always reminds me of light and lamps, joy and happiness, and, of course, the delightful sweets and savouries that come with it. And there's something else my cousin Dipak said which made me ponder: while a light has the power to illuminate a larger space and see things with more clarity, a lamp has the power to light more lamps and bring to life the inner potential of many other lamps. While the light looks nice, the lamp here is the kind-hearted soul. ?Should we then aim to be nice or kind in our life and in our interactions with others? Let's dive into this question together. ?

When we talk about being "nice," we often mean acting in a way that pleases others and keeps things harmonious. It's about avoiding conflict and maintaining a pleasant facade. On the other hand, "kindness" goes beyond surface-level pleasantries. It's about genuinely caring for others, showing empathy, and making choices that benefit them. These two words, "nice" and "kind," might seem similar, but they have significant differences in how they impact people.

Let me share a personal story to illustrate this. Recently, my son had to deal with a challenging situation at work. A new recruit had been struggling for a while, and her performance was far from satisfactory. He had to ask her to leave. Instead of taking the easy route and simply being "nice" by ignoring the issue or sugar-coating it, my son chose to be "kind." He sat down with her, discussed her shortcomings, and offered guidance on how to improve. This act of kindness was essential as it aimed to help her grow and succeed. ?

There are times when being "nice" can clash with doing what's right. For instance, turning a blind eye to inappropriate behavior to avoid awkwardness may seem "nice" in the moment. However, it's not truly kind. Take the example of my?friend's daughter who was being bullied at school. Her brother, in a kind and courageous move, stood up for her, involving the teacher to put an end to the bullying. This act of kindness was about making a positive change. ?

In social situations, we often encounter moments where being "nice" means staying silent when someone makes a disrespectful or offensive comment; could be sexist, racist or body-shaming. It's easier to avoid confrontation and maintain a veneer of politeness. But choosing kindness means speaking up against such behavior, even if it feels uncomfortable. This act of kindness is about creating a safer and more respectful environment for everyone. ?

Let's talk about the workplace again. A friend of mine once made a wrong hire, and when asked for my opinion, I had to be brutally honest about the situation. It wasn't a "nice" conversation, but it was a "kind" one. I believed that addressing the issue promptly was in the best interest of everyone involved. Sometimes, being kind requires making tough decisions that may not make you the most popular person in the room. ?

In personal relationships, conflicts can sometimes escalate, leading to moments where we respond with rudeness or defensiveness. Have you ever found yourself in such a situation with your partner? Maybe you've had a disagreement that turned into a heated argument, and in the heat of the moment, hurtful words were exchanged. Now, what do you usually do after such a conflict? Do you choose to be "nice" by pretending it didn't happen, hoping it will blow over? It's a tempting path, but it's not always the kindest one. ?

You see, when we simply brush such conflicts under the rug and move on without addressing them, it can send the wrong message. Your partner might interpret this as accepting or condoning the hurtful behavior. So, what would a kind person do in this situation? A kind person acknowledges that the exchange was hurtful and wrong. Rather than delaying or avoiding the conversation, they give their partner a heads up, saying something like, "I'd like to talk about what happened during our disagreement. Can we sit down and discuss it?" Remember, in conflicts with loved ones, it's not about being nice; it's about choosing kindness and growth. ?

As we navigate through these challenging times, it's important to remember that kindness holds more value than mere niceness. If you ever find yourself torn between the two, I encourage you to lean towards kindness. Don't let the desire to be liked overshadow the importance of doing what's right and beneficial in the long run. ?

Think of opportunities for improvement as that stray piece of food stuck in someone's teeth. Ignoring it might seem nice in the moment, but addressing it promptly is far kinder. ?

Challenge yourself to be kind, even when it's uncomfortable. ?

As Adam Grant said, “Nods and smiles stroke your ego… Consensus makes you comfortable. Dissent makes you smarter.”

Don’t allow yourself to be so nice that you end up being unkind.

Be intentional.?Take action. Be kind.

It's a choice that can make a world of difference. ?

Warm regards,

Sincerely,

Kavita Bothra?