Be Kind

One of the intersections between individual resilience and a healthy workplace culture is kindness.

On an individual basis, kindness is an essential component of social relationships, and being kind to others has a positive effect on our mood, self-esteem, and life satisfaction. Acts of kindness have physical effects as well, modifying our brain chemistry and improving our overall health. As a result, being kind increases our capacity for coping with stress, making it more likely that we will bounce back from adversity and thrive despite obstacles.

At work, kindness contributes to a culture of civility, in which positive gestures, respect, and dignity are the norm. When incivility is tolerated, it’s impossible for teams to develop the trust required for psychological safety and workers learn to avoid being authentic and open. A lack of civility also impairs communication across organizations, creates environments within which hostility, harassment, and bullying occur, and leads to workplace conflicts, poor morale, lower productivity, and higher turnover.

Individual acts of kindness and workplace civility are mutually reinforcing, fostering both individual and organizational resilience.

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Intentional acts of kindness

Like most people, I consider myself to be kind. I try to respond to situations with kindness and to treat others with courtesy and grace.

Most of the time, though, my kindness is reactive, elicited by external situations: Someone around me is struggling or needs help and I respond kindly. While that’s important, I realize that other people may not disclose the fact that they’re having difficulties or could use support. Especially in these overwhelmingly stressful times, it can be easy to forget that almost everyone is trying to keep their heads above the water.

Being proactively kind requires us to go out of our way to find opportunities to be caring or to be kind for no particular reason other than to be kind. Proactive kindness is purposeful, and it demands commitment. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable or involves courage, especially when we’re kind to someone we don’t know or, even more, someone with whom we disagree or don’t get along. Other times, we have to see beyond our own stress or struggles, sharing compassion despite feeling depleted ourselves.

How to be kind

We’re all taught superficial kindness as children, especially in terms of being polite and respectful, but true kindness is deeper than that.

• To be deeply kind, we must see the person before us as worthy and appreciate them as individuals.
• We must be genuine with them, present in the moment and sincerely engaged. Detachment, false empathy, and hidden intentions corrode sincere kindness.
• We must be compassionate, particularly with respect to their flaws and weaknesses, the places in their hearts where kindness is most needed.
• We must respect their feelings, but also lend them optimism when they feel lost or despairing.
• We must recognize how precious they are, especially when they see themselves as unworthy or insignificant.

I realize that’s a lot harder than just being nice. But who doesn’t deserve all that?

I fall short of such intentional kindness myself, most of the time, but that’s why it’s so important.

When acts of kindness are grounded in profound respect and appreciation, a smile or a helping hand becomes a lifeline, and an ordinary moment can be transcendent.

The hardest part?

Giving that deep kindness to ourselves. How many of us can read the list above and truly apply it to our view of ourselves?

But that’s probably the most important part, too.

Be kind.

To learn more, visit https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-cultures/201904/why-choose-kindness.

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If you or someone you know needs help, call 1-800-273-8255 for the?National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can also text HOME to 741-741 for support from the?Crisis Text Line. The National Helpline for alcohol and drug abuse is at 1-800-662-4357. All three are free and available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, every day of the year.

This piece was originally published on the Partners in Mind site for employee members of the Employee Resource Group (ERG) for mental health at The Standard.

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This piece is not intended as medical or legal advice. Always speak with your medical provider before initiating a diet or exercise regimen or if you have medical questions. If you have legal questions, consult with an attorney.

This article represents my own opinions as a non-physician and does not reflect the opinions or positions of my employer.