Killing Off The People Pleaser In Me

It took me many years to kill off the needy, people-pleasing version of me.

There's no way on earth I would be sharing the views I have now. I just wasn't able to do it.

Share what's REALLY on my mind? No way...

I would be far too worried about your comment below this post, my body would be locked up at the very thought.

I would be worried about losing a client, a business partnership, things being said behind my back.

What if this, what if that.

I mean, I would want to. But do it? No thanks.

So now, I find myself at a time in history with the craziest shit happening, feeling a deep calling to share my truth.

The things that are close to my heart.

I'm very aware that one single post from me could upset someone, lose me a big 'opportunity' because I said 'the wrong thing'.

But if I'm going to spend most of the day asking my clients to be true to who they are, I must also do that myself.

You see.

There's something very magical that happens when you really come home to yourself.

You lose the attachment to things.

Sure, I love my work, where I live, my friends.

But I'm also aware that there is a constantly changing and evolving.

Sometimes things resonate, and then things stop resonating.

We connect and then we disconnect.

But if I spend my time focused on trying to please someone else or a group of people.

What am I actually doing to myself?

I'm living a lie, and I'm living for that person's expectations of me.

All I've done is created an image in my head of what I think that person thinks and who they actually are.

In my experience, what many people present, vs who they really are is completely different and I don't want to be like that. I just don't.

I played a character for many years and I never liked him which I why I needed to kill that Simon off.

I didn't know who the hell I was.

So when it all finally clicked, I lost something.

Something very important.

The need to please.

The need to make a certain amount of money to be good enough.

The need to see something turn out a certain way.

Now... every day I get out of bed and do the real work to bring myself into the best place I can be, and then go about my day.

So... with what's happening at the moment.

I feel a calling, an urge, a pull.

I'm sensing so much that it is way beyond my mind.

I used to overthink and now I feel.

I have a gut feeling about a lot of what's happening.

I feel a build-up of what's coming.

Am I wrong about some things? I'm sure.

But what's 100% important for me is that I am me.

That means I say what I feel when I want to.

It means that I will apologize if I'm wrong very quickly.

It also means that I'm willing for things to fall away from my life and also for things to magically appear, as they constantly do.

I understand that during this time not everyone is going to agree with me.

I'm only disconnecting from those who show up with angry, spiteful, negative energy and I also will welcome people back with open arms when they make changes.

The problem we have in the world as I see it is how people manage themselves under pressure.

Believe it or not, you can have very strong views and be calm and loving at the same time.

What I don't agree with and what upsets me, especially on posts and especially mine is disrespect.

If you notice my posts, I don't come in and 'tell someone' what to do or how to act.

I'm offering my personal experiences and opinions... my angle.

So when someone writes "this is my perspective", it's very different from 'screw you AHOLE'.

It's about the underlying intention and energy.

If someone comes in and starts attacking you, take a pause and notice the energy of your reply.

Part of the huge issue with so much of what I see in the videos that you are seeing (looting, violence etc) is that there is a distinct lack of self-awareness and ability to control oneself.

People are on autopilot, having been taken over from a part of them that is deeply hurting and needs to be healed. That is just a fact.

If we could live in a world of strong opinion and controlled reaction, then we would all be a lot happier.

But that takes the real work that most people aren't prepared to do, and so they stick with a pack of similar minded people.

What we have is a strong opinion and uncontrollable reaction which leads only down a very negative path. Now many, many people are dying, all being charged up by others. with an agenda.

So of course, people struggle to show up as themselves because they don't know who they are.

They are either afraid of someone's reaction or afraid of their own.

Suppression.

If there's one area that anyone should work on, it's self-awareness because when we go from being 'in it', to observing it and controlling it, the game changes.

Share, your truth, be 100% you - but also be kind within it.

If we can all be in a room and have a healthy debate, the world will be forever changed.

There's so much moving and shifting now with everyone, so much emotion, so much anger, so much sadness, so much up and down.

We all need to hold space for that and remember that MOST of us...

All just want to be happy.

What about you?