Is Your Ego Sabotaging Your Success?

It is normal to seek to cultivate talent, obtain titles, acquire belongings, and earn praise and status. I was no different. I’ve always been ambitious and hungry for success. I wanted the spotlight and to add a trail of awards and accomplishments behind my name.

Yet I set myself up for failure from the very start. Self-criticism, envy, jealousy, and disappointment burned through me. I was never more unhappy than when I was my most ambitious. I had a distorted picture of myself: too ugly, too fat, too stupid, and not worthy of love. So I became fixated on my ambition. These ambitions to be a perfect weight, to look a certain way, to have certain friends, clothes, work at certain companies, and acquire material proof of success. It was ridiculous and even makes me a bit ashamed to tell you now. This ambition burned through me like a fire. Instead of making me happier, it made me very miserable. You see, you tie yourself to those wants like a slave. You become drunk on your own fame and thirst for more power and worst of all, you obsess about yourself constantly.

I spent my days competing and my nights counting my faults and worrying and I could never find peace. There was always some goal I hadn't met or someone ahead of me or something I hadn't done and of course a million obstacles in the way. Never perfect enough. One goal was checked off to be replaced by another. Exhausting.

Everything changed the day I killed my ego. My inflamed, ugly, spiteful ego that was heavy and holding me down. It was not a quick death either. It put up a good fight but I'd made up my mind firmly. Luckily I'm very stubborn so I won in the end. 

Good riddance. 

How did I get my ego under control?

I won't lie: It wasn't easy.

I had to swallow my pride, accept my imperfections, and decide to live in-line with my natural talents instead of trying to be someone I’m not. This meant losing everything first because I had constructed my life around my perfections. Getting rid of those thoughts made me free.

Now I am a vessel: empty, open, and ready to receive. 

I am swift, light, and nimble.

Because those chains are gone.

I fill myself with knowledge and love, head and heart, and give up control to a higher power.

I surrender myself wholly to my destiny, by listening to my intuition as a guide of where I should go and my smarts and carefully selected advisors to decide how I should get there. 

I follow my North Star even through fog, rain, and storms, the ups and downs of life, the hardships. All roads lead me towards it. Whenever I get disoriented, I just look inside my heart and I know instantly the answer. I never worry anymore about the path since I know my destination. I no longer curse myself for my shortcomings but am filled with gratitude and acceptance. I am finally my own best friend. And maybe the best part is that I don't care what others think. If others praise me or my work, I thank them but I never expect it nor am I disappointed when I don't receive it.

To have a peaceful night's sleep and awake with a smile on your face and a song in your heart is priceless.

I am free.

This is true wealth. 

Sometimes letting go of your ego is the key to reaching true success.

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