Kids and Money: Part I

Like all parents, I want to raise kids that are responsible with money.?There is a lot written on the subject, and I’ve spent many hours reading, googling and asking other parents their thoughts to determine how best to foster and nurture a good relationship with money.?There doesn’t seem to be one right way to do it.

For instance, some people are adamant that kids should not be paid to do their household chores.?Those chores are their contribution to the family.?I don’t disagree.?That makes sense.?And yet, I love how joyfully they do chores when they know there is a monetary reward for getting them done and doing a good job.

There are recommendations for allowance - when to give it, how much to give, and how to instill spending, savings and charity. ?They all make sense.?And yet, we’ve kind of stumbled our way through it all and filtered what works and doesn’t work based on our children.

To date, we have more trial-and-error experience with our 10-year-old than our 5-year-old - she has just discovered money.?So, Part I is dedicated to our 5-year-old, Charlotte, because we are in the fun, just getting started phase.?Charlotte has declared she loves money.?She is not big on coins and prefers bills.?She has some concept about the amounts on the bills, but still just wants volume.?Meaning a stack of twenty one-dollar bills is more appealing than a twenty-dollar bill.

Charlotte’s current financial goal is to fill this ball with money and then spend it on toys at Target.?She confided this plan to my husband. When he asked how she planned to fill the bowl, she said, without shame or guilt, “I plan to steal it from Mommy and earn it with chores.” This child continues to fascinate, impress, and slightly terrify me, but in a good way.?So, here’s our plan…

She is motivated by money.?Good on her that she is already focusing on the path of least resistance to her goals (maximizing efficiency by searching my purse for it), while also being willing to put in effort when needed (asking us what chores she can do to earn extra cash).?

Though my husband discussed how stealing is wrong, I’m not sure the lesson completely sunk in.?However, I find no need to directly address the stealing at the moment (I’ll check back in 10 years to tell you if that was a wise choice). ?I feel confident in my ability to outsmart her theft tendencies.?Which means, if she’s truly motivated to fill the jar, she’s going to have to earn it.

This is an opportunity for her to not only learn the value of money, but to take pride in her work, and find joy in earning money.?It’s an opportunity for me to use positive, specific and immediate reinforcement for the behaviors I want to see.?For instance, last night I wanted to teach her how to clean all the counters.?I showed her how to do it and then let her take over.?As she sprayed the counters I said, “you did 5 sprays - that’s the perfect amount – not too little and not too much”.?I’m specific so she knows what she is doing, and that she’s doing it right.?Then, I try to reinforce the results.?“Look at how clean and beautiful it is now thanks to you!”. ?I gave her three chores in total, reinforced her along the way, she sang and danced her way through it all, and when she was done, I forked over some cash. ?

Will we do this forever??No.?At the moment, it’s just what is working to get Charlotte motivated to learn, enjoy helping around the house, and starting to understand the value of money.?I don’t think there is perfect when it comes to kids and money. ?I think it is trial and error, but it’s important to try things out, see what they respond to, and be mindful of what you want to teach and how you go about it. ?As I get older, I get a little less concerned about doing things perfectly and get more motivated by making it fun and providing our kids with the opportunities to make decisions that are good for them.

Wish us luck… I’ll share more as the story unfolds…