Be a Kid Again - Is this the way to a more or less inspired future?

One of the most rewarding things about becoming a parent is how your life is put into perspective. You are confronted with the joy but also responsibility of being the guardian, mentor, guide, and protector of a new human’s life. You are also shown how much genetics define all aspects of a human being: that the quirks that you thought were learned, a true reflection of your personality, are actually just traits passed along from your parents or grandparents. Most powerful is how you realize that adulthood has distanced you from a thorough way of living. You realize that your actions and routines have not been directed by your true desires, but by layers of paradigms accumulated through years of life and the conformity that comes with it. So while you think that you have accumulated greater knowledge, wisdom, and capabilities, the years of adulthood has actually, to a certain degree, stripped away some powerful and rewarding inherent human traits.

In this article I will share the observations that I have made about the beautiful traits of childhood that I believe should be relearned by adults because they are inherently good: not just for a human being, but for humanity.

The most common way of labeling childhood is by calling it the ‘age of innocence’. I find this an excuse that permits adults to ignore fundamental strengths that they have lost through the erosive power of aging. Instead of calling children “innocent”, I would prefer calling them “truth livers”. They see the world for what it bluntly is, how it manifests itself simply to us day in day out. They see what real life throws at you every second, its beauty and its pain. To be clear, I mean its core beauty and its core pain. I do not mean the dimensions that are created through modern society’s complexities, which is more how adults digest the world.

Children are truly living in the moment and thus they are taking in the full richness of the world around them. There are no assumptions to cloud or generalize their perceptions. This is why their emotions are so powerful and why they succumb to them. I suppose you can say that they relish in their emotions, which creates energetic balance. Letting it all out does exactly that, lets it all out so that you are open and free to take in new emotions. They don’t have that inner voice that tells them to hold back. As a result they don’t suffocate feelings that can have all kinds of side effects to themselves or to those around them. As an example, it would be very unusual to see a young Jennifer, who was hurt by a young Lia when she took away her toy princess, spend weeks in boiling anger hatching a plan to embarrass her in-front of the whole nursery! That is more likely to happen with older Jennifer and older Lia (and likely no longer in a nursery, but in a boardroom).

The fact is that children are very transparent. They simply wear their emotions on their sleeves. Even the most cunning kid is easily seen through. Even the shyest child will show their emotional core. The reason is that they have not yet developed the ability to cloak intent or to mask their state of being. Therefore, showing their emotional state allows them to trigger compassion by others, but also allows them to move past their emotional state themselves. Consequently they quickly turn the page and are more quickly open to the next reality, feeling, sensation, and so on that lies before them. To a certain degree, they are in a constant state of flow. Adults simply don’t allow themselves to be this open, because they know the feeling of pain that can result with poor judgment or with the wrong crowd. So adults live in a constant “future-oriented” state, where they consider a future reality and adjust their current behavior to achieve that better future reality.

Being so affected and voluntarily consumed by the rhythm of life makes children behave very spontaneously. They are probably more in-touch with their gut than the most self-aware monk. As a result, they act, and they go for it. There is a “relentless involuntary selfishness”. Logically, one would think that this should trigger incredible tension among his or her peers. Instead, it just opens doors to new experiences that all of his or her friends can discover together. So, one kids’ selfishness creates the appetite for exploration for the whole. Adults are far less spontaneous because they are conditioned to be a lot more calculating, and thus their selfishness (which is still a big driver) becomes less involuntary and much more planned. The result is not an experience that benefits the whole, it actually may even be at the expense of the whole.

If there is one character trait that everyone would agree is universally part of childhood, it is curiosity. Yet, I would argue that kids are not just curious here and there, they are curious all the time. More exactly, they live by their curiosity. It propels them and is the sustenance that feeds their growth. So many things in front of them everyday are unexplored or completely new. Consequently they have to venture into the unknown, they have to succumb to their curiosity. More importantly, they have few reference points that would give them ammunition to hold back. So they constantly explore and indulge in every pleasure that comes their way. This is why time seems to feel so much longer when you are young versus when you are old: the consumption of novel sights, encounters, sounds and so forth are much greater and thus every minute is a much richer, and fuller experience. In short, curiosity shapes and nourishes their existence. As an adult, curiosity is no longer a driving force, and is actually discouraged. If we think about corporate culture, state thinking, and so on, it quickly becomes apparent that curiosity is muffled. Therefore, for adults, curiosity is no longer natural and thus needs to be worked on.

A wonderful output of pure curiosity is an insatiable appetite for play. Not only do kids play a lot, they know how to play right. It is almost like curiosity leads them to the “fun spots” and play allows them to enjoy them. But a child’s play is something to be wondered because they can create immersive experiences out of nothing, create worlds from the most unrealistic “props”. Why is this? Because they allow their imagination to run unabated. They don’t have too much experience with logic so they don’t allow it to play an active role in their decision-making. It is marvelous how a child can imagine a world of sea monsters floating in the kitchen floor, and maidens out of couch pillows and a few stuffed animals. In essence, their ability to truly play allows kids utter openness to novelty. Most adults no longer have the ability to truly play because there is always, if even so slightly, the fear of being judged. Parents are most likely to rediscover play if they immerse themselves in their child’s world, allowing their child to guide them into their imagination. However, too many parents still hold back, preferring to be composed or do “adult” things.

In summary, we should try and be kids again. We should learn from looking at kids, because they are simply more tapped into the power of life than adults. We can accept it now and adjust our ways. Meaning, we can accept the need to re-learn true curiosity, and be ready to spontaneously take advantage of new discoveries. We can also accept the emotional roller coaster that can be part of letting oneself go to unexpected experiences. In doing so we can regularly taste the levels of wonder that come naturally to the young. We can also ignore them, choosing to stay with the paradigms of adulthood. Meaning, we can follow societal conventions and propagate our learned insecurities and unwritten rules. With this direction we can bathe in a life filled with shaky confidence, built on assumed knowledge and wisdom, and increasingly void of novelty. I’ll go with being a kid again!

Cheers, Happy Reading

Gagan Malhotra