Kicking off Mental Health Awareness Month

Hi there! My name is Rachel Etnire, and I am the Employee Resource Group Program Manager at New Relic. I’ve worked at New Relic for just over three years, and this place completely has my heart. This place isn’t just a “workplace” for me, it is a place I am invested in helping continue to build and grow. It is a place I love coming to work every single Monday. It is the place where most of my closest friends work, and who share my desire to create the most incredible culture imaginable for other employees.

One thing I am really proud of is the creation of one our newest Employee Resource Groups (ERGs), NeuRelics. Their mission is as follows:

NeuRelics is an employee resource group (ERG) for Relics who want to help build a culture with neurodiversity and mental health in mind. Neurodiversity speaks to the human range of learning and attention, a natural variance that we all share. The goal of this group is to provide outreach + education, lend support to Relics facing team/manager challenges, and most of all, build a safe community in which to share. Our group welcomes both neurodivergent and neurotypical Relics to share their mental health discoveries, strengths, and challenges.

Mental health challenges, in addition to being neurodivergent, have had a huge impact on me throughout my career. (Whoa, I’ve had a career at this point in my life!) It has often been a lonely and painful road. I have something called Generalized Anxiety Disorder and was recently diagnosed as an adult with ADHD. I will do a separate post around my neurodivergence, but I’d really like to take a moment to talk to you about what is has been like living with, at times, crippling anxiety. While balancing the expectations placed upon me as a woman, a partner, and a stepmother at home, and the expectations to be a neurotypical, “stable,” happy person at work.

There were times where it was awful. There are times where it still is awful. Where I collapse in a quiet conference room, a bathroom, or… even at my own desk… in tears. With the tears come the inevitable shame spiral for not feeling okay, not feeling happy, not being productive because I am hurting so intensely, and not being “normal.” All of this happens while trying to run meetings, develop important content for my org and for New Relic, and show up for my fellow Relics, whom I feel a deep love for and want to protect.

I want to help build a culture where it is okay to have a bad days. That neurodivergent folks are heard and respected, even if we don’t process information, learn, or act in ways that always makes sense. Where my managers understand that I am doing the best that I can and that I can still be an incredible asset and a brilliant colleague even though I struggle. It is the direct support of so many managers at New Relic that have empowered me to talk openly about my mental health with not only them, but the people on my team as well. I firmly believe that the only way to build and foster empathy is to have these very difficult conversations with each other. I am really proud to work at a place that is working towards that vision. Happy Mental Health Awareness Month, and I hope you all know that you are never alone, even when the darkness tries as hard as it can to convince you that you are.