Kicking Anxiety to the Curb: A Professional Counselor’s Guide to Finding Your Calm
Faith, Foo SY
Guide ambitious leaders to overcome burnout, cultivate unshakeable mental fortitude & lead with great clarity, confidence, & impact. ? Mental Health Therapist ? Coach ? Trainer ? Speaker ? Author ?
Dear all, anxiety warriors! Your friendly neighbourhood counsellor here, with over 20 years of experience in the mental health field. I’ve seen many clients who are crippled by anxiety, and I’ve also witnessed incredible comebacks. I want to share my top tips here to help you show anxiety that you’re the boss instead.
The Anxiety Rollercoaster: More Than Just Butterflies
An effective way to illustrate anxiety is by likening it to a roller coaster. Have you ever experienced a roller coaster ride? Think back to the gradual and deliberate ascent to the peak. We refer to this as the “escalation” phase. During this phase, numerous internal thoughts propel us to the apex. For instance, the fear of failure, embarrassment, or underperformance. Our brain responds to these “thoughts” by releasing chemicals that trigger physical reactions in our body. We begin to perspire, our heart rate increases, and things start to accelerate. Some individuals describe experiencing clammy palms, profuse sweating, and a sense of unease in their stomach. In most cases, there is no genuine external threat.
Let’s look at Sarah, for example. A very high function successful marketing executive in her early 30s, Sarah found herself gripped with fear every time she had to attend a team meeting. Her heart would pound, race, sweaty palm, and her mind would go foggy. What was once a repetitive part of her job now becoming a source of overwhelming anxiety.
Just last week, I had a client – let’s call her Lisa – who shared her powerful experience with me. Lisa, a 40-year-old CEO, went to see an animated movie INSIDE OUT 2 with her kids, not expecting much for herself. But the film’s portrayal of anxiety hit her hard.
“It was like looking in a mirror,” Lisa shared me, her voice quivering. ” This description of how quickly anxiety can take hold was overwhelming. I saw my own experiences reflected in Riley’s. “Inside Out 2” felt personal to me in a way that was equally cathartic and devastating: It’s a movie that so intimately understands how my anxiety disorder upends my everyday life. I now understand how anxiety had been driving my life, making decisions for me. I understood I’ve been living in fear since my divorce five years ago, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. That movie scene became a wake-up call for me.”
Lisa’s story reminds us that anxiety can sneak up on us, masking itself as caution or even strength. But identifying its presence is the first step toward change.
Anxiety’s calling cards often include:
The good news is, anxiety might be stubborn, but you’re more resilience and tougher than you know. With the right tools, you can befriend your anxiety. Let’s dive into some strategies that can help you be the boss.
As a professional counselor with over two decades of experience, I’ve seen how anxiety can grip and cripple people’s lives, turning everyday situations into frightening challenges. Nonetheless I’ve also witnessed the incredible resilience of the human spirit and the transformative power with the right help and techniques. Today, I’m want to share a few practical tips to help you befriend your anxiety and reclaim your peace of mind.
Understanding Anxiety: More Than Just Worry
Anxiety is like an uninvited guest that overstays its welcome. It’s not just feeling nervous before a big presentation; it’s the persistent, nagging worry that interferes with your daily life.
Anxiety manifests differently for everyone, but common symptoms include:
– Persistent worry or fear
– Restlessness or feeling on edge
– Difficulty concentrating
– Sleep disturbances
– Physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat, sweating, or trembling
The good news? Anxiety is treatable, and with the right tools, you can learn to befriend and manage it and overcome it.
5 Effective Techniques to Bounce Back from Anxiety
When anxiety hits, it often feels like you’re drowning in a sea of worry. Mindful breathing is your life raft. It’s a simple yet powerful technique that can bring you back to the present moment.
How to do it: Find a quiet spot and sit comfortably. Close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose for a count of four. Hold it for a count of two, then exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of six. Repeat this cycle for 5-10 minutes.
Real-life example: Tom, a 45-year-old teacher, used this technique before parent-teacher conferences. He found that taking just two minutes to focus on his breath helped calm his nerves and allowed him to communicate more effectively.
Anxiety often manifests as physical tension in our bodies. Progressive muscle relaxation helps you identify and release this tension. PMR is an easy technique to do at home. You don’t need any special equipment or gear. All you need is focus, attention, and a quiet spot where you won’t be distracted.
How to do it: The key with this technique is to tense each muscle group and hold for 5 seconds. Then, you exhale as you let your muscles fully relax for 10 to 20 seconds before you move on to the next muscle group.
Start at your toes. Tense the muscles as tightly as you can for 5 seconds, then relax. Move up to your calves, thighs, and so on, all the way to your face. Pay attention to how your body feels as you release each muscle group.
Our thoughts have immense power over our emotions. By learning to identify and challenge anxious thoughts, we can change how we feel.
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When you notice an anxious thought, ask yourself:
– Is this thought based on emotion or facts??
– What evidence is there that this thought is accurate?
– How could I test this belief?
– What’s the worst that could happen? How could I respond if the worst happens?
Real-life example: Maria, a 28-year-old nurse, always worried she’d make a lethal mistake at work. By questioning her own thoughts, she realized her fears were unfounded. The facts is she had years of training, followed protocols precisely, and had never made a serious error. This awareness significantly reduced her anxiety.
Sometimes, the best way to overcome anxiety is to face it head-on – but in a controlled, gradual manner.
How to do it: Graded exposure: This involves exposing you to the source of your fear gradually by going up the ladder one step at a time. For instance, if you are afraid of needles, the steps could include looking at a picture of a needle, having a covered needle near you, holding a needle, etc., until you’re able to do what you fear most, which is getting an injection.
Prioritizing self-care can significantly reduce anxiety levels.
How to do it:
– Regular exercise
– Create sleep routine
– Healthy eating
– Limit caffeine and alcohol intake
– Pursue hobbies that you like
Real-life example: Alex, a 39-year-old lawyer, found that incorporating a 30-minute walk into his daily routine and he sleep on time, cutting back on caffeine dramatically reduced his anxiety symptoms.
When to Seek Professional Help
Though these techniques can be incredibly effective, from time to time we do need extra support. If anxiety is significantly impacting your daily life, it’s time to reach out to a professional. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Consider professional help if:
– Your anxiety interferes with work, relationships, or daily activities
– You’re experiencing panic attacks
– You’re avoiding situations due to fear or worry
– You’re using substances to cope with anxiety
As a counsellor and mental health coach, I’ve seen how professional support can be life-changing for many of my clients. Therapy provides a safe space to understand your anxiety, learn personalized coping skills, and identify underlying issues.
You don’t have to do this alone. If you’re struggling with anxiety and ready to take the next step towards a calmer, more fulfilling life, I’m here to help. With years of experience and a toolbox of effective techniques, I can take you on a journey to overcome anxiety.
Don’t let your day pass feeling overwhelmed or trapped by anxiety. Reach out today for a session. Together, we can develop a personalized plan to help you befriend and manage your anxiety and find again joy and peace in your daily life.
Remember, the path to overcoming anxiety starts with a single step. Take that step today.
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