The Keys To Making New Friends & Connections

Between Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Snapchat, Pinterest...the list goes on...we are caught between the real world and the digital world 24/7.

So how do we make new friends and connections on a HUMAN level nowadays?

I honestly think there are 3 keys. And they're all "old school".

1. BE SOCIAL (IN REAL LIFE)

Do you remember what it felt like to meet up with your neighbor and run around the backyard together? Or what it felt like to get dropped off at the movie theater with a group of your friends and just hang out, stuff your faces with junk food, and laugh together? I do. I remember what it was like before social media. I remember what it was like before the stress and pressure of getting likes and downloads and followers was "a thing".

I truly believe that even though we're more technologically advanced today than we ever dreamed possible and that even though we are advancing technology every second of every day and still have a lot more to create in our world, I believe that we're all starting to realize how much we miss being around people and feeling connection with one another.

Sure, lifestyle and travel and fashion bloggers on Instagram live and tell about the "dream job" and "dream life" of being your own boss and working from home. And I respect that. But what I'm trying to say is that what's not talked about is the loneliness of it all.

Do you agree with that?

When I was in my YouTube prime I absolutely loved sharing my life on social media, I loved having the ability to connect with people from all of the world in the click of a button, and I loved how my computer and online community made me feel like I was apart of something bigger. But the reason why I stopped and went into corporate America is because I was lonely.

I think it's time for all of us to put ourselves out there...out there in the real world.

2. BE VULNERABLE

I love this word: vulnerability. It has been the cornerstone of my existence on this planet. As a young girl, I was taught to believe that friends and outside family members were untrustworthy, not supportive, and not helpful. Although I kept my entrepreneurial side private from friends and family, I craved nothing more than being vulnerable with these people anyways. I craved community. I craved for a sense of belonging. I craved interactions.

Despite my mother's wishes, I overshared as much as I could about myself. I found that the more open I was with other people, the more open they were with me. I discovered that the more I shared with other people, the more people wanted to get to know me better. I learned that the more vulnerable I was about what I was going through, the more I was able to help other people with what they were going through.

Vulnerability is perhaps THE most important key to making friends and connections.

Is it scary to be vulnerable? Yes.

Is it uncomfortable to be vulnerable? Yupp.

Is it uncharted territory to be vulnerable for most of us? You better believe it.

But guess what?

IT'S WORTH IT.

Take a moment right now and just think about your favorite singer, your favorite author, your favorite artist, your favorite superhero, your favorite political figure.

Do you have the image of that person in your mind?

OK great. I want you to think about WHY you like that person. And WHAT you like about that person. I'm sure, to some degree, you feel like you know them or you feel a connection with them in some way. Amiright? That's most likely because at some point in time, your favorite X person shared something personal about themselves and whatever they shared resonated with you. Whatever they shared gave you something to feel hopeful about, it gave you something you could identify with.

If we are not open to being vulnerable, then we're not being open to making that kind of impact in other people's lives....and just think about how different your life might be if you didn't have that X person to look up to.

3. BE OPEN MINDED

I recognize and honor that some of you who may be reading this right now identify as an introvert, and the thought of making new friends and connections seems scary and not realistic. I really want to challenge you, though, to be open minded to new possibilities.

A lot of the time we get sucked into black holes in our own minds, don't we? It's literally like one seconds there's a beaming light of love, hope, excitement, and joy and then the next it's like that light explodes, turns into a black hole, and eats everything.

I get it. I understand. I've suffered from anxiety and depression for years.

But one thing I've become more aware of lately is that by staying indoors (literally) we're keeping ourselves trapped in our minds. We're imprisoning ourselves. It's easier to play the "woe is me" card or the "I'm going to stay trapped and depressed and angry forever" card. Yes some thoughts are intrusive and we don't have control over them. But what we DO have control over is HOW we manage those thoughts and what we DO ABOUT THEM.

Again, it may be hard to digest this. It may be triggering to read this right now. All I'm asking is for you to be opened minded to this possibility. Without judgement on yourself, without obligation, without any of that. Just...open.