The Keys to Happiness and Wellbeing

Sometime back, I had the opportunity to hear and interact with the professor of Happiness, Dr Tal Ben Shahar. He captivates audiences with his easy elegance, snippets of knowledge interspersed with literature references and authenticity. Here are gems that I gleaned from the session.

Give yourself permission to be Human: Due to the web of expectations all around us, we feel it is almost not okay to have a downturn, a dip or a failure. At the end we are all humans with our set of imperfections and talents. Only a psychopath or a dead person can be constantly in a high or low state.

Suppressing merely reinforces: Merely suppressing or wishing away an issue has exactly the opposite effect. The more we try not thinking about it, the more it will pull us down. To demonstrate this, try not to think about a "Pink Elephant"

Quantity of activity affects the quality: Most of the times we are doing too many things often multi tasking to keep pace with a crazy world. More often than not, the quantity of activity has an inverse correlation with quality which affects our happiness and well-being.

Create islands of sanity every day: At least some time needs to be spent doing introspection and meditation where one gets off all gadgets and connects to the inner self. This will help recharge the mind.

Exercise, Exercise,Exercise: Exercise helps not only in boosting our mood through release of dopamine but also prevents dementia and brain decay.

Be a Self-full Giver: Tal refers to Adam Grants Giving where he mentions that in organization the guys at the top of the performance curve are the givers and so are also the guys at the bottom. However, there is a notable distinction between the top guys and the bottom guys. The guys at the top give but also recharge themselves by taking before they get ready for giving again. The guys in the bottom always give and they end up with nothing to offer after sometime. So balancing between being selfless and selfish is to be the Self-Full giver who gives and gets in balance.

Express Gratitude: When you express gratitude for the good, the good appreciates and is positively reinforced.

Simplify Life: We tend to make life very complex through our myriad wants and get into the complexity trap that saps our energy. Ask the question that what we ultimately want and simplify life.