The Keys to Breaking Free from Obsessing

Who isn't tired of obsessing over their body and their food? The struggle to break free from yo-yo dieting and self-sabotage is real, and yes I know it sounds a little like an infomercial, but it's actually Sheila Vier's ethos.

After successfully exiting her first company in 2015, she decided it was time to develop a company - SheilaViers.com - to help people recognize that entrepreneurs are still human and that they have all the same issues and insecurities that are human nature.

But part of being the best CEO you can be is feeling powerful in your own skin. That's what Sheila Viers helps her clients capture. I have always tried to empower women through my agency's work, and to do that you have to address issues of health, wealth, relationships with ourselves and others, and even spirituality. It has to be a well-rounded approach to achieve stasis.

Here are Sheila's best practices to manage the tightrope walk of life as an entrepreneur.

LM: How do you manage stress as an entrepreneur so you don't get burnt out?

SV: First I think it's important to talk about why we get burnt out. So many entrepreneurs will tell themselves and their families, "I will have more free time to do [XYZ] when I get "there" (to that pinnacle point of success in the future), but what they don't realize is, it doesn't work that way.

I know it's the opposite of what you hear across most media, but I'm telling you that if things are important to you, you have to make time for them. And a lot of times we tell ourselves that we "don't have time" when we actually do. We're just spending our time on a lot of busy work. When it comes to entrepreneurship, I honestly believe a lot of the stuff that people do in terms of action is really just a lack of organization, delegation, and proper business/team management. I say this with so much compassion, because I know this from personal experience. I did it for years too.

These days, 9 years into my entrepreneurship journey, I manage stress through:

• Structured freedom
• Meditation and journaling (connection to my purpose, priorities, Big Why)
• Not taking myself and business so seriously (releasing stress and need for perfection)
• Releasing the need to push and force things to happen, learning to follow inspired action vs action for the sake of action (sounds woo-woo, but it works)

LM: Gary V. once said, "Are you willing to bleed out of your f(*&ing eyes for your dream?" It seems to go against your ethos. Do you think this is what it really takes to be successful?

SV: I think a lot of people are confused about what exactly creates success. Correlation does not imply causation. Meaning, my interpretation of what he's saying is that you have to be so committed to your dream that you are willing to sacrifice and experience extreme pain for it. I don't believe that just because you CAN become successful (on paper) through extreme sacrifice and pain, that it is a necessary component for success.

I would also argue that this sets people up for failure in other areas of life, because if you are giving your everything to your business at this type of level, I can almost guarantee that your relationships and your health are suffering as a result.

I believe that we definitely need extreme passion for our dreams, but passion doesn't have to equal working ourselves to the bone or bleeding out of our eyeballs.

So why is this extreme level of sacrifice so (over) sold in the media these days? Because people love the hero's journey. They love a good story about conquering things and overcoming adversary. If you overcome extreme hardship, sacrifice and pain in order to achieve your dreams, it makes people feel like the success has been earned.

LM: You sold your premium gym and yoga bag company in 2015. What was your biggest lesson after co-founding, building, and then selling that company?

SV: I started that company in 2008 with my now ex-husband. I pushed, sacrificed, and made our business my everything in many ways, for many years. We called it our "baby" like so many people do.

I realized after going through the divorce and selling that company, that although I am an entrepreneur through and through and still have passionate dreams, I will never run my business that way again. My business is not my life. It does not define me. Yes, it is an important part of my life and my purpose/passion, but there are so many things outside of my business that are important to me.

LM: You mentioned "inspired action" versus "action for the sake of action". Can you say more about this?

SV: Inspired action is action that is fueled by your purpose, passion, and vision. It comes from a place that feels clear, connected and sure.

Action for the sake of action is what we do when we think we need to be busy. Everyone is "busy" these days, but are they really doing meaningful work? This is what leads to doing things we think we're supposed to do (following everybody else's rules). It's also what we're doing when we are "shoulding" on ourselves.

Inspired action is what ultimately leads to being able to get out of bed excited about your day. Even the occasional mundane task isn't as depleting because you are so connected to your bigger vision. This is the different between a visionary, or someone that changes the game versus those that just follow the rules.

This is not to say that visionaries don't use analytics, structure and procedures, but they act based on inspiration way more than they do based on what they "should" do.

LM: What's the best piece of advice you can give to someone who is starting a small business or thinking of starting a company?

SV: That happiness breeds success, not the other way around. I first heard this quote from business, sports and media mogul, Ted Leonsis, in his book, "The Business of Happiness: 6 Secrets to Extraordinary Success in Life and Work."

Abraham-Hicks, says, "You can't get there from there," meaning an unhappy journey will never lead to a happy ending, basically making the same point. I think this is honestly the most underrated piece of advice in business.

LM: Talk to me about work life balance as an entrepreneur. Is it possible to be successful and have a balanced life? How can an entrepreneur be productive professionally AND balanced personally?

SV: People get really feisty about (triggered by) the word "balance" like it's a bad word or a lie. Balance isn't impossible, it's just individual and fluid (ever changing).

Productivity means that you are making progress toward your goals, right? So, in order to track, I recommend to entrepreneurs the same thing that I recommend to my health coaching clients. You need enough structure to help you feel like, "Okay, I've got this. I know what to do." And enough freedom to play, have fun and get out of our head!

I call this Structured Freedom and one of the best ways to create it for yourself is to calendar everything. I use my computer calendar that syncs with my phone to block out time for everything. I color code things according to creative work time, phone calls and interviews, marketing/social media time, and then also time for personal things like meals (hello, yes...blocking out time to eat without multitasking will be a game-changer for your health goals), massages, time with friends, workouts, and meditation/journaling. I use structure to create time for freedom. The color coding really helps too because you can see at a glance where you are spending the bulk of your time.

Also, another tip for work life balance is to get super clear on your top 2-3 priorities in life. What are the things that are most meaningful and important to you? Usually, health and family are pretty high on the list, because let's face it... without both of those, a lot of the other stuff (like money) becomes a lot less meaningful. Once you're clear, sit down and decide what your 3 non-negotiables are related to those priorities. Maybe that is getting to your kid's soccer games once a week, working out at least 3 days a week, or date night with your significant other once a week. Calendar these into your schedule and treat them like any other VIP appointment. These non-negotiables essentially become your Big Why - they are THE important things that make life meaningful.

Remember, happiness breeds success, not the other way around. If you are unhappy, if your health or your marriage is deteriorating, you're not going to show up as the best version of yourself in your business anyway. It truly is a win-win.

This was originally published for Inc. Magazine, catch the rest of my interview here.