The Key of Your Happiness is being Happy for Others.

I know I know it sounds very confusing. What does it even mean? I have wanted to write this article for a long time. I keep searching for what makes me happy and I keep asking these questions to all my friends, my family members and most importantly my elders who have seen the world and hold a good experience of life.

The question is very simple, but the answer can be very difficult. For a few even questions are very confusing. Let me share my experience. When I was a kid, the happiest place was where I could read comics and play Mario games. When I was in college my happiest moment was being with my friends. In my first job, my happiest moment was getting something for my family and spending my own money for my new phone. Now my happiest time is when I spend time with my daughter and wife alone and taking a break from work.?

It keeps changing, does not change every day but slowly keeps changing for sure. When I am interacting with people around me including friends, family and others, I see somewhere deep we all are comparing. There are few people I know who are not but most of the people are. They do not even know why they are comparing, it's just a habit now. I used to do this a lot especially when I was on social media. I was not happy after this exercise, but it was in my habit, to be honest sometimes I still do.?

I started one exercise a couple of years back to support others, be happy for others' milestones and try to not judge others. It was difficult, it took me almost a year or two to get into this mindset. The first question in my mind was like why did he/she have this and not me? I also do hard work, maybe they are lucky but from my heart there was never a positive support coming for others. I was in a comparison loop, and I used to sulk a lot. I started asking myself, am I happy when I am not happy for others? Actually, I never was. Everyone is doing their struggle, and everyone is getting what they are working towards.?

No one is giving me anything, I am not giving anything to others then why are we not happy for others. From there i started being happy for others but initially it was fake, I used to support others only to show i do care but from my heart i was still not happy. I keep asking myself what makes me happy. From last year I started writing this every 3 month. I do write in my diary every 3 months what makes me happy, and I try to do that as much as possible.?

When I started focusing on my happiness eventually, I started less focusing on comparison and I started supporting others from my heart. It takes time, it can take years, it's a difficult process. But one good part is that it will make your mind very clear. This process will isolate you from negative people as well as this process will build a clear path for your future. Please do not expect others will do the same, what we need to do to focus on our happiness. It might be that you are not always happy with others' happiness.?

If someone is close to you, family, friends, partner, you will be happy in their happiness and achievements. This is called unconditional love and support. You need someone in your life to give you unconditional support, without this pillar functioning in life can be very difficult. Mom always provides unconditional support, if you need them just call them even at 3am and they will be there for you. You can have a friend, family member or mentor who can be your unconditional support, but you do not have one try to find one. It's our responsibility to become unconditional support also, try to become unconditional support of at least one person in life.

In the end, how will you know that you are happy for others? When someone is sharing their achievement with you, pause, try to ask yourself why you are not happy, how does this affect you. For example, if some of your peers got a promotion, some of your friends bought a new car, that should not affect you, it's their journey, you have your own journey. You will also achieve your milestone in your life, and you will need people to share your joy with. What you give always comes back!! Try this exercise and let me know if you relate with my thoughts.?

What's in my current list for happiness:

I love traveling, exploring new places, and trying new food.?

I love to read, so I started again. I love to write so I'm trying as much as I can.?

I would love to play Guitar - to do items.