Key Takeaways- Search Inside Yourself Workshop

Google’s Chade-Meng Tan developed Search Inside Yourself Workshop for achieving inner peace. A few weeks back I got the opportunity to attend a 2-day workshop from the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute at Deutsche Telekom in Bonn. As I was deeply touched by what I learned, I would like to share my key takeaways for the benefit of readers.

The Search Inside Yourself workshop is based on Emotional Intelligence, Neuroscience, and Mindfulness. It aims to develop mindfulness-based emotional intelligence for leaders. Mindfulness basically means to be in present, to be conscious of yourself and the surroundings. And, according to Salovey and Mayer (1990),

Emotional intelligence is the ability to monitor one’s own and other’s feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.

As per SIY emotional intelligence can help you become an outstanding leader, give sustainable high performance, and make you happy. One of the ways to develop emotional intelligence is to practice mindfulness. 

I would like to share some of the learning from the workshop and the techniques to practice mindfulness and develop emotional intelligence:

• Mindful Listening for Meaningful and Attentive Conversation: Listening is something which we all do, but how many of us are a mindful listener? In the workshop, we were taught to focus on listening to our partners without letting our mind wander or by interrupting the partner. As it is normal for our brain to wander therefore mindful listening can help you to have a meaningful and attentive conversation. During the exercise, ground rules were set such as curiosity, no judgments, confidentiality which I think is also applicable in our day to day conversations.

Fact: 47% Average time spent mind wandering (Source: Killingsworth, 2010; Mindful Leadership Institute, 2010)

•  Autopilot to Awareness Mode: Attention to past or future, being distracted, being reactive or judgmental, or to act based on habit patterns and assumptions is what was described as autopilot mode. For our personal and professional growth, it is very important that we bring our self from autopilot to awareness mode. As per Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, between stimulus and response, there is this space where we have the power to choose our response, and this is where our growth lies. To get off autopilot mode we need to practice being in the present i.e. mindfulness. 
• Practicing Meditation: We did meditation a number of times during the workshop. I think most of us know how important meditation is for our brain. Just to list some benefits, meditation leads to greater attention, less anticipatory stress, etc. 
• Developing Self-Awareness: As per science journalist Daniel Goleman it is, “Knowing one’s internal states, preferences, resources, and intuitions.” Basically, we can confuse our emotional states, the same emotions can be perceived as stress by one person and excitement by the other. Therefore, it is important to know what we are feeling. 
• Change from Existential to Experiential: This concept teaches us to shift our view from existential (I am) to physiological (I experience). For example, from saying “I am angry” to “I experience anger in my body.”
•  Journaling: Writing brings peace and clarity to the mind. It is interesting to note that sometimes we don’t even realize what we wrote when we do it in flow. But later when we read it, we get to know something new about ourselves. Writing forces you to pen down your thoughts, mull over it, which is not possible otherwise. I feel writing stops you from escaping reality and brings you to the point where you are made to think. In the workshop, we tried to discover an ideal future for ourselves. A seemingly simple exercise but of great thought and use. We were told write who you are, what you are doing, and how you feel after 5 years given everything happens as you imagine. Now, this is a big deal. This exercise made me think about what is the best which can happen in my life or what I can do to give myself an ideal life after 5 years. Power of writing it down!
• Mindful Eating: Do you know someone who doesn’t eat? Of course not! But do you know someone who eats mindfully? Probably not. Mindful eating is to pay attention to your food, the sensation of eating. It is about getting aware of the food you are consuming, bringing all your senses to the meal. Mindful eating is an ancient practice which can prepare you for a lifetime of healthy eating. 

Here is a link from Harvard Health on Mindful Eating

•  SBNRR Self-Management Technique: SBNRR stands for Stop, Breath, Notice, Reflect, and Respond. Most of the times we are very impulsive to triggers. When someone says something good or bad, we react immediately without thinking. But this technique teaches you to take a series of steps before responding to triggers. It is easier said than done, but it can do wonders if you master the technique. 
• Mindful Conversation: Just like eating, we converse every now and then, but do we do it mindfully? Probably not. The mindful conversation is about paying full attention to what the speaker is saying forgetting your own worries. Mindful conversation can reduce stress as you live the moment, being present in the conversation without thinking about your problems and you make the other person feel good by listening to them with full attention. Mindful conversation involves mindful listening, looping + dipping, and mindful replying.

Techniques to practice Mindful Conversation from Insanity Mind

• Practicing Self-Compassion: Self-compassion is a construct drawn from Buddhist practice, it refers to treating oneself with kindness. Self-compassion helps you to differentiate between being a bad person and making a bad decision. Practicing self-compassion can help you to develop a growth mindset, motivate you to correct past mistakes, motivate you to learn and grow from others, put effort to improve after a setback. For more information, you can read the work of Psychologist Kristin Neff who was the first person to operationally define the term “Self-Compassion.” 

Techniques to practice Self-Compassion from Psychology Today

• State of flow:  It is a great concept which tells what makes us forget time and enjoy what we do. Basically, we need to find a task which is challenging but doable, requires skills, but not something which is beyond your reach. Otherwise, if a challenge is high and the skill required is low, we become anxious. Similarly, if the challenge is low and the skill level is high, we become bored. Therefore, it is important to find the sweet spot to be in the state of flow. 
• Know Your Values: Each of us have some values. We may or may not know them, but we value those values in the people we admire. This was my biggest lesson from the workshop. Know your values! Write them on a piece of paper. Most of the times problems arise due to a clash of values. For example, you believe in equality and you have to devise an incentive which is fundamentally unequal, etc. I learned that the values are your biggest motivation.
• Practicing Empathy: In a quest to build the perfect team, Google found that people value psychological safety the most. Employees want to work in a team where they feel safe to take risks and be vulnerable in front of each other. It was interesting to note that how we empathize based on our in-group (similarities) and out-group (dissimilarities) perception. Therefore, to practice empathy we need to offer kindness and see similarities in people. Empathy does not mean psychologizing or agreeing, it is about objectively experiencing and understanding what others feel.
• Skills are Trainable: It was pointed out how some of us may think we are not a good listener or we can’t do this or that. But interestingly skills are trainable and we can become mindful by practice. 

As you may have realized it is not just enough to know the techniques, but we need to practice it regularly. SIY workshop ends with a 28-day a challenge which includes daily practices, personal goals, and leadership commitment, and buddy meetings. 

SIY Telekom Participants

Happy learning!