Key Takeaways: High Road Leadership

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"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." -Mahatma Gandhi

John Maxwell, per usual, was laying a bunch of major one-liners on me during this morning's reading. He dove into the differences in mindset of leaders who chose to take one of three leadership paths: 1) Low-Road, 2) Middle-Road, and 3) High-Road.

All of us will start on the Middle or Low-Road. It's instinctual to take first. On the middle-road, leaders take first, then give equitably. Their giving is based on what they receive so all is "fair." The low-road leader takes constantly. They ensure survival at all costs to others. They see themselves as victims when things go wrong and fail to take personal accountability. The goal is to move to high-road leadership where you always think of others first. Maxwell says, "High-road people intentionally give first without worrying about receiving anything back. They aren't trying to make their interactions fair..." He later says, "Treating others better than they treat you, and with consistency and without judgmentalism, is the best way to bring people together, and it's the only way to make the changes we want to see in the world."

I've written many times that your purpose in life must be focused on others to be meaningful and fulfilling. Your purpose cannot be about yourself to be evergreen. Maxwell says it this way, "I believe if you make the first move by placing others ahead of yourself and adding value to them, you will begin to feel fulfilled." To be a steady leader you cannot focus on yourself. You'll quit on yourself easily. The focus must be on others and helping them get what they want in life. When you work hard for others, you'll never quit and you'll experience true joy.

"Value people, believe in them, and love them unconditionally. Do those things every day, and you will be successful." -Melvin Maxwell

There are three big pieces to the quote above: 1) Value people, 2) Believe in people, and 3) Love people unconditionally. When you value people you see their worth AND you let them know you see it. People will rise to the level of their worth. When you set that high for them, they'll perform. There are two great ways to show people that you believe in them. First, equip them. When you train, coach, and provide resources to someone to get a job done, they'll feel your belief in them perform to your expectations. The second is challenge people. When you challenge them to fulfill the potential you see in them, the belief will be clear and motivating. Loving unconditionally means love with no strings attached. It's a mindset that you must have to do well. When you love unconditionally your operating environment will be safe, trusting, and productive.

These three suggestions will do more for your steady leadership than nearly all other tactics that you could deploy. These require work in yourself first because you have to be the person with the right mindset to pull them off. Lead yourself, then your team, and then your company.

"... the gifts we have are always greater than the person."

The title of the chapter is "Acknowledge Your Humanness." I loved every section of it and it was a great lesson on humility and judgment. People will know us for our gifts or our faults. It largely depends on their personal mindset how they think of us. The judgmental person will see our faults, but a person who is full of grace will see our gifts. We should seek to be a person that is full of grace, but also acknowledges our humanness.

The point is none of us are perfect and our gifts don't make us better than anyone else. Most of us didn't earn our "gifts." They were given to us. A blessing that we didn't deserve. The best we can do is use them in service of others. Leadership is always about others. How can help them get what they want so I can get what I want. Good for all, but it starts with them.

I'll end today's post with a piece John shared that was thought provoking for me. I hope it helps you too.

When the other person takes a long time, he's slow.

When I take a long time, I'm thorough.

When the other person doesn't do it, he's lazy.

When I don't do it, I'm busy.

When the other person doesn't follow the rules, he's rude.

When I don't follow the rules, I'm original.

When the other person gets ahead, he gets the lucky breaks.

When I manage to get ahead, I'm smart and hardworking.

Maxwell gives us five ways for people to acknowledge their humanness without becoming discouraged:

1. See Yourself - this means seeing how you affect people around you. Be aware of your experience, power, and pride preventing you from doing this.

2. Care for Yourself - Show the same self-compassion to yourself that you'd give to a love'd one. You have to be your own best friend.

3. Forgive Yourself - Don't place unrealistic standards on yourself.

4. Laugh at Yourself - Be so comfortable and confident that you can laugh at yourself. It will build trust within your team.

5. Believe in Yourself - You must have "confident humility." You must believe in yourself while questioning your strategies.

There is a line between being humble and tearing yourself down. You should always seek to grow and to allow your team to contribute to your success, but you can't take care of others while you are tearing yourself down. You have "to be your own best friend" first, then you can love on and help others. Find your balance of "confident humility," and set the example for your team.

"The most important question leaders can ask themselves is: Why do I want to lead others?" -John Maxwell

This is a simple check on yourself and your values. Is your first response for a personal gain or is it to help others? You should receive value for being the leader, but it should never be the reason why. The why has to be about others to be a great leader. Your motives matter.

"[As a leader] Paying a price is a never-ending process."

Growth is uncomfortable. Improving as leaders is an uphill path and that's why most people don't pursue it. People would rather stay on the level or downhill path because it's easier. The leader will become the lid to the company if he/she doesn't improve. It's a responsibility, for me mandatory, to improve when you take the title of leader. People depend on you to grow so your life can expand theirs.

What areas do you need growth for your company to grow? Where are hard decisions needed in your business that you've been delaying? Who can hold you accountable to growing??

"Leaders make people feel seen and valued by being treated as partners in their work."

Marilyn Gist writes about something she calls, "Generous Inclusion" in the workplace. She pushes the same leadership approach as Maxwell in that we first see value in the person before we think of them as an employee. She writes that we should invite people to be a part of the "real action" in our business.

Maxwell teaches this as another form of generosity that happens to be in the workplace. To be a "High Road Leader" you must be giving more than you take every day. It should be your mindset and something you hold yourself accountable to. Maxwell points out three mantras for leaders to adopt: 1) desire to add value to others, 2) think the best of others, and 3) give freely and often to others. The great thing about adopting the above mindset is the return on investment is joy. When we lead with a giving approach our teammates benefit, but we benefit too. There are plenty of financially "successful" people who are unhappy, but very few generous people who are unhappy.

What's your plan for being a giver? Do you self-evaluate for this trait? What do you have that you could give? Who could benefit from your time, talent, or treasure??

"I'm no longer motivated by success. I'm motivated by significance, which can come to fruition only through giving." -John Maxwell

I am so grateful to have read what I did this morning from Maxwell. I don't believe I was missing the inspiration - the quote above is how I feel. I was missing a great quote to keep me focused on where I was going. What I've learned in the first half of my life is that true joy is a result of giving and loving. It's about leaving everyone around you better than you found them.

To do the above you must have something to give. The implied task here is that you go create so much abundance in your life that you can give freely. We have to build big businesses, we have to make great investments, we have to become extraordinary leaders so we can help people at the highest level. Ironically, if your hand is closed, then you won't receive more yourself. All that we have is God's. We are here to steward the gifts well.

Are you building something special for the right reasons? Are you motivated to be significant as Maxwell explains it? Who can you surround yourself by to hold you accountable to having a giving mindset??

Maxwell writes that leaders must have high, and work to increase, emotional capacity. He defines this as the ability to respond to adversity, failure, criticism, and pressure in positive ways.

The reason this is so important is because leaders are bombarded with problems constantly. A huge part of the job of a leader is to solve problems of all kinds. When your professional life is most about running into and over problems it's very easy to focus on problems instead of opportunity. Without high emotional capacity, you might find yourself in a victim mindset which will crush your ability to influence others in the right way.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness reports that depression and anxiety disorders are costing the global economy $1 trillion each year. In America, more than a fourth of all adults experience anxiety disorders or major depressive episodes. People need leadership. They need people who are going to constantly rally the team to see the good that's ahead and to take action. Action precedes emotions so to have good emotions we must take positive action. Leaders make sure this happens. I love the poem here shared by Og Mandino, in the book "The Greatest Salesman in the World." Gaining control is all about taking the right action. To take the right action, we must have high emotional capacity.

What's your emotional capacity? What thoughts are you finding yourself having when you run into problems? What can you do to work on increasing your emotional capacity??

"The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don't let them put you in that position." -Leo Buscaglia

You must have an opinion of yourself so that you can quickly put other people's opinion of you where they belong. Sure, learn from those responses, but the opinion that matters is your own. John Wooden said it this way, "Do not be too concerned about what others may think of you. Be very concerned about what you think of yourself." Elbert Hubbard said, "Be a good forgetter [of what people say]. Business dictates it, and success demands it."

The goal is to process your emotions quickly and get back to your positive mindset as quickly as possible. We are always trying to learn from our past, but growth is only achieved by looking forward to what's next. It's impossible to take massive action when your head is turned behind you.

What is your opinion of yourself? How long do you let the opinion of others disrupt you? What steps or reminders can you set for yourself so you can practice moving on from other's opinions faster??

"For the sake of the people we lead, we must take care of ourselves. A rested and recharged leader is more capable of taking the high road when pressure comes and the demands of leadership are high." -John Maxwell

I believe there are two big risks when a leader isn't healthy: 1) Victim mentality and 2) Complacency.

When a leader is put under pressure and that pressure begins to push up against the leader's capacity, he or she will first be tempted with the thought of giving up. The confrontation of that thought is where most distinguish themselves. One segment of leaders will get busy and work on what they can and the other will see themselves as victims. It's not that leaders give up and stop coming to work or doing their job. The more likely sign of giving up is they stop caring. They turn their attention towards themselves and have the mindset of everything is unfair. "My initiatives aren't a priority and My team isn't supported" are the thoughts of the day. A healthy leader never accepts the victim mentality. They will make the best of the situation they are in - always.

Pat Riley said, "Complacency is the last hurdle any winner, any team must overcome before attaining potential greatness. Complacency is the success disease; it takes root when you're feeling good about who you are and what you have achieved." I believe the quote sums up what's at cost if you allow complacency to happen. Healthy leaders are always thinking growth. It's exciting and success is just the beginning. Their hunger for more is contagious, and bigger visions of the future are natural.

It's on the leader to pay attention to their health. It's a part of leading yourself and that must happen before you lead others. Focus on your spiritual, mental, and physical health every day. Maxwell has a fourth component of health which is "Receiving Relational Energy." The fourth health is making sure that you spend time with people you love and energize you. Health is a major component of Steady Leadership. Make it a priority.

"Get off your own agenda and spend time with people to connect with them because it demonstrates how much you value them." -John Maxwell

Maxwell writes, "How we see people is how we will treat them." I believe this to be true and Maxwell continues to prove it with a series of examples. He says, if you see someone as competition, you'll want to defeat them. If you see someone as an obstacle, you'll want to remove them. If you see someone as inconvenient, then you'll want to ignore them. If you see someone as broken, you'll want to fix them. If you see them as hurting, then you'll want to help them.

The key is to see people as valuable so you want to serve them. Leaders serve their teams so they can come together and achieve as one unified group. I like to say it this way: Leaders wake up everyday and ask themselves, who do I have to be today for my team so that they can be their best? Whatever the answer is to that question, that's your job for the day.

How do you see your people? How do they see you? Who does your team need you to be today to be their best??

Doing the "Leadership Dance"

The great lesson that I have learned, and one of the few that I have learned more than once, is what I refer to setting the pace for your team. I named the lesson "setting the pace" because I have learned about the leadership label pacesetter. A pacesetter is someone who has high standards and expectations and literally sets the pace for the team by comfortably leading from the front. The problem with pacesetters is not everyone is willing or even capable of running at your pace. That's why we, pacesetters, need to learn tactics like John Maxwell's "Leadership Dance."

Maxwell shares 5 ways you must be ready to leadership dance to be your most effective:

1. Sometimes you're Ahead: Lead by Example.

2. Sometimes you're Beside: Ask Questions and Listen.

3. Sometimes you're Below: Serve your People.

4. Sometimes you're Behind: Support Your People.

5. Sometimes you're Above: Advance the Big Picture.

I think most of the titles above explain what the tactic is about so I'm not going in depth on any. I will make the main point clear: Pacesetters need to constantly remind themselves to put their people ahead of their own agenda. I love my teammates so that's not the issue. It's my nature behavior to go far and fast that needs to be managed. Leading from the front is not always the best form of leadership. You have to be willing and capable to do the leadership dance from all positions to truly be a Steady Leader.?

How to Embrace Authenticity

Maxwell gave us six things we can do to that will help with embracing authenticity:

1. Embrace and Live Good Values

2. Embrace the Idea of Living between Success and Failure

3. Embrace the Value of Character Over Reputation

4. Embrace the Choices You Make Over the Gifts You've Been Given

5. Embrace the Value of Your Contribution

6. Embrace Honesty When You're Wrong or Make Mistakes

So many of the lessons above are about openness. Don't hide who you are to others. Show others how aware you are of yourself. Remain humble, show yourself grace, and share the lessons you are learning with the team. Most of the team already knows what you think you are hiding from them. When you are vulnerable with them, you are just letting them know that you are aware of what they know. When you do this, your authenticity will be on full display and the team will respect you more for it.?

"How can I make my team better?" -John Wooden

The question above is the one question that Wooden asked himself every day. The question is a form of accountability. If you are a leader that owns his team's production daily, you'll naturally ask yourself this question and action on the answer. Maxwell says, "Personal responsibility is a success start... excuses are success stoppers."

How willing we are to take personal responsibility will ultimately define who we become. Gary Burnison says it this way, " At the heart of accountability are two key principles: honesty and humility. With these 2 Hs, we become accountable for who we are - and who we become." Accountability isn't something you do once. You are either an accountable person or you're not. You must have the mindset of accountability to be so consistently because it rarely is a comfortable feeling.

Do you have the mindset of accountability? Does your team display the values of accountability? How can your develop that value within your organization??

"Accountability is the glue that hold teams together no matter how difficult the circumstances become."

Maxwell explains in his ninth chapter that High Road Leaders take accountability for their actions. Leadership is influence, influence depends on credibility, and credibility is renewed daily by being accountable. There are six things Maxwell suggests people know about Accountability.

1. Accountability and Responsibility Work Together

2. Accountability Builds Your Credibility

3. Accountability Keeps you Consistent

4. Accountability Increases Your Self-Respect

5. Everyone Needs to be Accountable to Someone

6. Saying No to Accountability Means Saying No to the High Road

#5 might be the secret to it all if you ask me. I learned in my military career that people will quit on themselves, but it is very hard (for most people) to quit on others. Once you consider someone important to you, you'll give all that you have to maintain your "word" with them. Parents have to look no further than their kids for inspiration. Would you ever quit on your kids? I know I wouldn't. I wouldn't quit on my wife or my teammates either. Doing what you say you are going to do is so simple and yet, so important for your leadership effectiveness. Steady Leaders understand this and make accountability a part of every action they take.

Who are you accountable to? Is accountability a part of every plan you are implementing? What can you do to make accountability a part of your team's culture from this day forward??

"Being distinctive means doing something that cannot be duplicated."

The title of the chapter I read today was, "Live by a Bigger Picture." John Maxwell writes that "[leaders] see more than others and they see before others." I think that is so true. One of the biggest gifts leaders can give their team is a bigger perspective of what's happening, why it is happening, and what we think is going to happen next. Thinking this through is what we are already doing as we are casting and recasting our vision. Leaders must continually be thinking about the future so that we are in a position to respond instead of reacting.

Seeing the bigger picture is largely a gift that many leaders have been blessed with, but there are some components of skill involved that can be improved overtime. The skill that I believe is most important is analyzing and understanding the context of the situation. The Army blessed me with this skill by providing a process in its mission planning framework. The first part of every plan is outlining the situation in the plan's "Situation" paragraph. Very few leaders take the time to truly analyze the situation before they start planning. That's risky because you are planning from a very narrow viewpoint. To create a great plan, you must have a bigger picture view.

Maxwell shares seven frameworks for achieving greater context:

1. Informational Context

2. Historical Context

3. Situational Context

4. Motivational Context

5. Collaborative Context

6. Experiential Context

7. Tactical Context

Are you stopping to consider the situation before you start planning? What's your process for understanding the situation? Do you have someone on your team that has the gift of seeing the bigger picture? How can you partner with that person to ensure you've thought through everything?

"Three fourths of your effectiveness as a leader comes from who you are, not what you do." -Tim Spiker

I cannot think of a better way of wrapping up the lessons learned with this quote from Tim Spiker. Spiker goes on to teach that effectiveness is a result of being inwardly sound and outwardly focused.

Inwardly sound means that the leader has ideals such as "personal disciplines, integrity, authenticity, health in all areas of life, self-awareness, a clearly understood sense of purpose, humility, emotional intelligence, and unconditional love." These ideals makeup a well-developed human being and "three fourths" of what makes leaders exceptional.

Outward focus is led by the attributes of "forgiveness and compassion." An outward focus on people is critical for leaders. It doesn't matter how you measure success for your organization, they all require people so people should be the focus.

"High Road Leadership" ultimately comes down to desiring the best for others. It's being selfless. It's having a servant's heart and truly desiring to be what others need you to be in order for them to be their best. It's unifying a team in pursuit of a common purpose that focused on helping others. It's teaching others how to believe and become their best.

Love everything about this book's message and believe if you embody it's principles, you'll be a more Steady Leader.?

Every day I spend time in the early morning reading books to grow my knowledge in business, wealth, religion and more. I share the key takeaways from my week of reading with in?Exclusive Weekly Leader Note?to a group of motivated business professionals – if you would like to join the group, you can sign up here .

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