The key skill for leading under pressure

The key skill for leading under pressure is empathy. And for those who have heard that before, read on, because not a lot of people really understand what empathy is.

In a related blog post (What Empathy Really Takes), I unpacked the fact that empathy takes action, it is neither an emotion nor an automatic reaction. It is not sympathy, and it is not just about trying to understand what someone is going through.

Empathy is about action (that is the compassion piece – there is no compassion without action). Empathy starts with a cognitive understanding of what someone is going through, then having an emotional connection to their struggle, and finally doing something (where possible) to support them – although this is not always possible. This methodology was developed by Daniel Goleman, and it provides a great framework for what empathy is and how to put it into practice.

Which is what leaders need to do when they are under pressure. And the pressure might be to deal with a team member who is struggling.

It is in these moments that empathy is critical. Brene Brown defined empathy as ‘holding the space’. Being present when someone is sharing their toughest times with you.

In our leadership programs, we train the topic of empathy. And the best way to train it is to use a story from a coaching client who applied it beautifully.

Our client (the leader) was struggling with the absenteeism of a team member. We put a plan together to have the discussion, with empathy being at the heart of the conversation. We suspected that there was an issue outside of work, and it turned out there was. It was a deeply personal issue that the team member shared. And it was one that the leader had never experienced. The concern for the team member (whose performance had also dropped due to the challenges they were facing), in fact needed more time off to deal with it.

The leader put themselves in the shoes of the team member and could then think and feel what it would be like for the team member.

Once the leader understood both the issue, and how to support their team member, it was time to support the team member. Following the conversation, the leader consulted the HR team (the action piece – compassion), and it turned out that there was a specific type of leave to cover just such situations. The leader was able to help the team member to get the time off that they needed to deal with the issue. The team member was able to work through it and come back to work with a better mindset. And was grateful for the support.

The key thing in the above case study is about the leader taking action. The understanding is the first part of empathy, the compassion is the most important part. Leaders can’t always take action to support their team members, during these periods, though they should certainly try.

Tips to help leaders to be more empathetic

• Ask questions to learn more about the person and their lives
• Listen to understand, not respond
• Be attentive to body language and other types of nonverbal communication (behaviour includes emotions)
• You don't need to agree, but you do need to try understand the situation and the position of the other person
• Put yourself in the other person's shoes

And the most important thing – go out of your way to do something that supports your team member – and yes, I know you are busy, and you have got so much to do, and people take up so much time, and it is like 90% of your job, and you don’t get time to yourself (all said with love – I just hear this a lot).

We are all born compassionate... fact. Recently I was asked “well, if we are all born compassionate, why don’t some leaders act like that?”

I’ll leave you with that one…

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About Anton Guinea

Leaders struggle with their mental health, too... Often finding it difficult to lead under pressure.

Anton is an entrepreneur, speaker, consultant, bestselling author and founder of The Guinea Group. Over the past 15 years, with over 150+ global organisations, he has inspired workplace leadership, safety and cultural change. He’s achieved this by combining his corporate expertise, education (Bachelor of Psychology), and infectious energy.

Get in touch?with Anton today.