The key to navigating big transitions, personal and professional

Mel deVivar was 38 years old when she decided it was time for a career change. After working for almost 15 years in higher education, she came across a design certificate bootcamp as the COVID-19 pandemic began in 2020.

“I was at a crossroads —?do I stay comfortable with a stable income, or do I try something completely new?” deVivar recalls. “I told myself, ‘If this isn’t the time to do this transition, I’m always going to put it off.’”

Once she completed the 480-hour curriculum at Designlab in 2021, deVivar sought out opportunities in design. She now works as a full-time product designer, but she says her journey included several hurdles, especially as a first-generation woman of color.?

This week on The Starting Line, deVivar shares her story. We also hear from first-gen mental health therapist Juliana Londo?o on how to navigate big career transitions.?

Listen to your gut, no matter the timing

As the oldest daughter of Filipino immigrants, deVivar quickly learned how to take care of others, especially her younger brother, who has autism. She recalls often acting as a translator for her mother at the bank or the doctor’s office.?

When it was time for her to go to college, she wanted to choose an option that wouldn’t put a financial burden on her parents. But when she started at San Jose State University, she discovered a passion for art and design, something she knew her father wouldn’t approve of.

“In college, it was really hard to straddle my independence and learn what I wanted to do,” deVivar says.?

deVivar ended up majoring in design studies and advertising and, ultimately, earned a master’s degree in higher education. After graduating, she began to work as an administrator at colleges along the West Coast. But after 15 years in higher ed, she needed a change.

“The joy I initially had going into the field wasn’t there anymore,” deVivar said.?

According to Londo?o, this feeling is common among experienced professionals who made sacrifices in exchange for a sense of stability and success.?

“A lot of people have expressed wanting to finally do what they've been dreaming of since they were in their twenties,” Londo?o says. “They make peace with how their life has been all these years and [start] working towards what their life could be now.”

Acknowledge your feelings, good and bad

While big life transitions can be exciting, they can also trigger feelings of stress or anxiety.?

In such intense moments, it can help to write down what you are feeling, says Londo?o. She recommends keeping a journal to reflect on your emotions, good and bad.?

“Our brains can think 100 miles a minute, but we can’t write [that fast],” she says. “It really helps us slow down and focus on our thought process.”

When it feels like your list of hurdles is never-ending, hone in on the biggest, most intimidating one, recommends Londo?o.?

“Focus on that one [barrier] you’re losing sleep about,” she says. “The one that continues to be a thorn in your shoe, the one you just keep thinking about.”

Things won’t always go according to plan

While you can prepare yourself for a big life change, it’s unlikely that everything will go the way you envisioned. Leaning on a support system during times of change can be extremely helpful when you’re feeling overwhelmed, Londo?o emphasizes.?

“It’s very easy for feelings to come out as anger,” Londo?o says. “But at the core of it, it’s actually sadness or loneliness.”

First-gen professionals, in particular, may feel like they’re navigating parts of life alone. But it pays to be open about your needs with family and friends.?

“You don’t have to figure it out on your own,” says deVivar, who leaned on her husband and fellow first-gen friend as she navigated her career change. “Don’t suffer in silence.”?