The Key to Mastering Difficult Conversations

?? Difficult conversations - especially those involving giving feedback - can be really frustrating, uncomfortable and unpleasant for many of us.?

They bring out emotions, make us nervous and oftentimes put us in a state geared towards conflict, towards expecting the worst.?

In our heads we start to imagine how that conversation will go, what we'll say, how we'll handle their reaction - all of that before even stepping into the room!?

Personally, I used to find difficult conversations very stressful. In my role as a Managing Director, it was inevitable to have tough conversations.Yet, despite knowing that they were essential to confront key challenges, the feeling of a knot in my stomach just wouldn't go away!

Does it sound familiar??

So how can we turn all of this around and make sure that difficult conversations can become instead powerful, constructive ones??

The key is PREPARATION.?

The more you're prepared and you know exactly what you want to get out of that interaction, the easier (and smoother) it'll become.?

And to prepare, I always advise leaders to rely on a structure that's worked very well for me in the past and that keeps having amazing results for my clients, too. When I discovered this structure the knot in my stomach eased: I felt fully equipped to intentionally deal with these conversations in a way that was win-win, effective and constructive.

Here's the Structure:?

Start with Permission?

Nobody wants a difficult conversation just thrown at them out of the blue. So it's really important to start with asking permission. Nothing too complicated, just a simple and straightforward, "would it be ok if we had a brief conversation about x and y?"??

Positioning and Setting Context

Once both parties are ready to have that conversation, in the beginning, you need to clearly state your intention. What do you want to get out of this interaction? Make clear where you're coming from, what led to the conversation in the first place. Speak about the facts without making accusations. Just lay the context for what you want to say and why it's important.???

Talk about Behaviour and its Impact

This is especially important when giving feedback: make sure to highlight that what you're saying comes from your point of view, your own observations - not just an objective fact. Use phrases such as "I noticed that..." or " I've been under the impression that..." or "I've recently observed..."???This will ensure the other party doesn't feel attacked and yet can neutrally reflect on your observations.??Next, highlight how that behaviour impacts the situation or project or their colleagues. Start with "when you do this..."???Keep things brief, straightforward. No rambling in this phase!?

?Ask a question to get their perspective

Questions are a really powerful tool and we can leverage them to make difficult conversations easier on both parties. So, after you've talked about the behaviour and its impact, ask them "what are your thoughts on this?" or opt for "how can I support you with this?"??

Again, it's important that they're not feeling attacked, but rather encouraged and empowered to move past that behaviour to achieve the goal or result that's good for everyone - including them.?

Agree on the next steps in a collaborative way??Last but not least, leave the conversation only after having achieved the next steps. Even in this case asking questions can be very handy, as it will feel more empowering and collaborative for everyone. Ask them things such as: "What do you think we could do next?" or "Could we come up with some agreements to move this forward?"??Remember to keep things clear, courteous, concise and concrete throughout. Most importantly, you want to keep your message as complete (to avoid loose ends) and as coherent as possible.???

In order to do this, it's essential to not only focus on how the conversation will go, but also on what you really want to say. Once again, preparation is key!????

?I always advise to prepare for the conversation using these key questions:??

• What is your objective for this interaction? What do you want to get out of this conversation? What's your intention or goal?
• Once you get clear on this, it'll be so much easier to communicate things coherently and with no rambling or tangents into other issues.?
• How do you want the person receiving the feedback to feel?
• As I mentioned before, a good starting point is to not make the other party feel attacked, but it's important to go beyond this and reflect on how you want them to actually feel instead.
• What would you say "with no gloves on"?
• This might sound like a quirky question, but it's essential to recognise how you are feeling and decide on how you will talk about the impact of the other party's behaviour. Once you have awareness of your feelings, it's time to put the gloves back on and rehearse how you will say the same in a positive, empowering way
• When should I deliver it?
• Preparation ensures we're not having the conversation in the heat of the moment or impulsively. Think about when would be the best time to have this interaction in a way that would give the best, positive results.?

And that's it.

?? This structure is tailored to enable leaders like you to be as impactful as possible, even through the most challenging conversations.?

When I share this model with my clients, time and time again, I see the relief in their eyes.?

They know that having such tools at their disposal means they can be intentional, deliberate in their approach. Most importantly, they know they can lead others in a way that allows them to exponentially increase results and to become true MULTIPLIERS.??

??Becoming a Multiplier means being able to achieve next-level business growth, create a strong legacy, and unlock 3x more potential in both yourself and others.?

My clients see the impact of the Multiplier Mindset and approach and - together with tools like this structure - they know it can lead them to disrupt their industries and reach new heights.?

???? Comment BELOW: WHAT TIPS CAN YOU SHARE TO HANDLE DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS WITH EASE, CONFIDENCE AND A GREAT OUTCOME?

By the way:

On December 6th 2022, at 9am UK, I will be hosting a free interactive masterclass called

"How to become a MULTIPLIER and 10x your results, impact and energy"

This Masterclass is for founders and leaders who want to learn how to leverage high performance skills, create more impact, and shift their mindset to exponentially multiply their results.?

It will be a space to interact, grow and learn how to turn 2023 into the most powerful, impactful year yet.?

Would you like to attend??

If so you can find the link to register in my profile under Event Link. It's free to attend, value driven with no selling

Looking forward to seeing you there and kickstart your journey to become a Multiplier!?

Tracy?