The Key Lessons I Learnt in 2018

What a year! I still can’t believe that we are only a day away from closing our Gregorian calendars on the year 2018 and flipping open the pages of 2019—but we must.

If 2018 could be described with an emoji, it would definitely be ??.

For the most part, I didn’t know what I was doing. I simply went headfirst into everything the year threw at me; obstacles, opportunities and all. There was some pain in the process, periods of deep loneliness, bouts of confusion, a lot of ‘WTF?!?!’ moments, but also a lot of growth.

From the vicissitudes of the year, I took note of lessons I learnt along the way. The most pivotal ones are:

• Death is an unpredictable thief — Live Now
• Fortune favours the ambitious — Be Bold
• Belief in you must start with you — Chin Up
• Success happens when opportunity meets readiness — Be Prepared
• Nobody really has it all figured out — Enjoy Chaos
• It’s not brave if you’re not afraid — Confront Fear
• Pain can be a beautiful thing — Allow Transformation
• Most things only make sense in retrospect — Don’t Panic
• Great friends are the key ingredients for a great life — Squad Up
• Money spent on self-learning isn’t an expense — Invest Generously
• Nobody ever gets into rooms they don’t deserve to be in — Own It
• Our attention is the most valuable thing we own — Filter Noise
• Self-discipline is the foundation upon which anything great is built — Control Yourself
• If you can’t find an example, become one — Blaze Trails

I’ll explain each lesson further in the paragraphs below.

Death is an unpredictable thief — Live Now

Losing two friends this year to the cold hands of death opened my eyes to how uncertain our lives are. I saw death stealthily show up and snatch the lives of these young souls who had barely begun to live. They had dreams and aspirations which are now buried with them. Reflecting on their lives and their untimely deaths, I have developed a stronger sense of urgency to pursue my dreams now and live like each day will be my last. One day, it will.

Fortune favours the ambitious — Be Bold

I used to think that intelligence was the determining factor of how much one could achieve. But from my experiences this year, I have come to learn that the courage to reach for the seemingly ‘impossible’ is what differentiates the achievers from the dreamers. Therefore, to create the quality of life that you desire, step out of your comfort zone and pursue those impossible goals that you’ve always shied away from. What’ve you got to lose by simply trying?

Belief in you must start with you — Chin Up

There are people who derive their sense of self-worth from the validation they get from others. I think that is a ticking time bomb because once the stream of external validation ceases, they stop believing in themselves, and ultimately dig themselves into a hole. This used to be me. I used to depend so much on how others perceived me until I realised that it wasn’t going to be sustainable. It wasn’t until a few months ago that I started to rechannel the source of my self-esteem to come from within. This has resulted in a deeper confidence in myself and my abilities.

Success happens when opportunity meets readiness — Be Prepared

This year, I have been called “lucky” and “successful” more times than any other year. This is mostly because of the opportunities I have been able to secure such as internships with a tier-one American investment bank and another with a global top-five biopharmaceutical. While I was lucky to find these opportunities, I was also ready with the skills and experience required to secure them when they presented themselves. Opportunities will always come our way, but will we be ready for them when they do? Use 2019 to make sure your answer to that question is a resounding ‘yes’.

Nobody really has it all figured out — Enjoy Chaos

It is easy to think that those who are out there achieving great things, bagging all the top jobs, starting revolutionary businesses, and being featured in leading publications have their lives all figured out. But, I tell you, nothing could be further from the truth. Don’t put needless pressure on yourself to have everything figured out. Get comfortable with the uncertainty of the present and the unpredictability of the future. Trust your gut and follow your passions while getting better at the things you’re naturally great at. Everything will fall into place.

It’s not brave if you’re not afraid — Confront Fear

It’s okay to be scared so far as you don’t let fear paralyse you and keep you from achieving your goals. So many things scare me: applying to competitive positions, being stuck in a dark room with a flying cockroach, and so many others. I’m sure you have your fears too. However, nothing brave can be done without confronting these fears. What then is bravery if not the continued pursuit of a set objective in spite of (not in absence of) fear? Make a decision to confront your fears and take braver actions in the new year.

Pain can be a beautiful thing — Allow Transformation

They say pain is the emotion with the greatest potency for transforming people for better or worse; second only to anger. This year, I experienced pain...a lot of it! In those moments, I did everything from weeping incessantly to staring into space while a flame burnt within the hollow of my chest. The only thing I didn’t do was try to stop the pain because, in my experience, doing that only makes things worse. So I let the pain wash over me, through me, and off me. Doing that allowed me to be transformed by the pain and to grow from it. I think it’ll work wonders for you too if you let it.

Most things only make sense in retrospect — Don’t Panic

There are times when we are unsure of our decisions and we close our eyes to take a leap of faith. I’ve definitely had such moments. There are also times when something unexpected happens and, suddenly, the events of the past start to make sense. Soren Kierkegaard, a Danish philosopher, once said: “Life can only be understood backwards but it must be lived forwards.” The lesson there is to be comfortable making decisions without knowing exactly where they may lead. Take that leap of faith and believe it’ll all make sense in a short while. Have faith in faith.

Great friends are the key ingredients for a great life — Squad Up

Everyone who knows me knows how selective I am of those I call ‘friends.’ Growing up, my mother always told me “Buu, show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.” That stuck with me. Those who I wanted to emulate, I first made them my friends and, as expected, those traits of theirs that I admired began to rub off on me. This year, the quality of my life spiked as a result of the tremendous support I got from my friends. They inspired me, scolded me, comforted me, and grew me. We laughed together, cried together, and achieved together. My tribe, as I call them, are the reasons I am still sane as I type this. In the new year, be more intentional about selecting your tribe. They not only define who you are but also who you’ll become.

Money spent on self-learning isn’t an expense — Invest Generously

This year, I spent hundreds of dollars on books. So much more than I had spent in any other year. As I exchanged money for books, I grew anxious about how much money I was ‘wasting’ when I could’ve spent that money on more entertaining things. I turned to a friend to rant about it and she said: “Arinze, when investors pour millions into a company it’s called investing because that expense yields returns. Why then should spending a few hundreds on your own learning be considered a waste when it yields more lasting returns?” I took a moment to let that sink in. I now spend more money on books than food. In 2019, I plan to also expand my spending into online courses. These aren’t expenses; they’re investments.

Nobody ever gets into rooms they don’t deserve to be in — Own It

Very often, we find ourselves in rooms where we ask ourselves: “How tf did I get here?” We typically either ask that question out of awe or out of self-doubt. The latter was the case for me during my summer internship earlier this year. I let my self-doubt nearly cripple me and almost permanently mar my performance. What I failed to realise was that I went through the same selection process as all the other people in the room and I was as qualified as each of them to be in those rooms. I learnt that selling yourself short will only lead others to see you as less than what you’re actually worth. Never doubt yourself. You’d most likely find out that you’re doing much better than you give yourself credit for.

Attention is your most valuable asset — Filter Noise

The things we pay attention to are allowed into our consciousness as we immerse ourselves in them. The world is aware of this and there are forces competing for our attention—every single second of it. From the endless stream of content in the media to commercial brands seeking to dip their fingers into our wallets, the battle for our attention is on. It is therefore important that we conserve our attention and pay it to only the things that add value to us. I am now taking back ownership of my attention by redirecting my attention towards more productive things, people, and activities. I think you should too.

Self-discipline is the foundation upon which anything great is built — Control Yourself

Almost everything worth achieving requires some form of sacrifice. For example, you may have to stay up late to get those stellar grades, or you may have to take on more responsibilities at work to get that promotion. Whatever it is, some sacrifice is usually required. To make those sacrifices, we must be able to put our goal ahead of our desire for evanescent pleasures. Not everyone can exercise that degree of self-discipline to make the sacrifices necessary to make their dreams a reality and not just wishy washy fantasies. That, again, is what separates the achievers from the dreamers.

If you can’t find an example, become one — Blaze Trails

When pursuing our goals, we tend seek inspiration in those who have gone before us to achieve similar or even loftier goals. Their lives serve as a beacon of hope that we too can achieve great things. We walk in their footsteps and follow their trails in an attempt to get to a similar destination. However, there are times when we do not find such people who have done the kinds of things we aspire to do. While that can be discouraging to some, it can be a source of motivation to tread uncharted territories. It is then that we realise that we are the ones that we have been waiting for. Rise to the occasion!

These lessons follow me into 2019 and I can’t wait to see what treasures and challenges lie ahead in the new year.

I’m ready for all of it...I think.

#StudentVoices #YearinReview