Key Leadership | The Power of Saying "I"

When I was in Junior High School I remember being in Physical Education class when I learned this powerful lesson. We were playing basketball in the gym and someone had fouled another player and Mr Alberts blew the whistle and stopped the game. He did what most referees do and pointed to the player that had made the foul and began to set the court up for a free throw shot. However with this particular event, just before the player that was fouled began to make his shots, Mr. Alberts paused the game and taught us this valuable lesson.

Mr. Alberts taught us that whenever you foul someone on the court you are to raise your hand and take ownership for the foul. The referee should never have to try to find your number on your jersey to tell the scorekeepers. This lesson proved to be invaluable in my life and no doubt in the lives of so many other young men that Mr. Alberts took the opportunity to teach that lesson.

Is the word "I" a selfish word, or is it a powerful word?

I was reading one of my favorite books "Think and Grow Rich" the other day and I got to page thirty in my copy of the book that talks about the "Self Confidence Formula".

Napoleon Hill gives five pieces to the "Self Confidence Formula". The very first word at the beginning of each part of the formula is the word "I". As I read that I began to think, "I wonder if one of the key principles of changing something in our lives has to do with the word "I"?.

When I think of the word "I", I instantly think of the word "Ownership".

You must be willing to take Ownership of the results you not only have but you must take ownership of the results you want in your life!

We can lean on our parents, we can lean on our mentors, we can lean on our friends, and we can lean on our colleagues at work and we can even lean on our circumstances but each of the people that make up these categories does not have the ability to give you the results that you want in your life. They can offer ideas, they can offer a shoulder to cry on, they can even offer money, but they cannot give you results.

We must be willing to take full responsibility for the results that we want in our lives.

Before you say, "If I had what he has I'd be where he is!" consider re-framing your thoughts to saying "I will have what he has when I do what he did!"

It really is that simple -- re frame your thinking to a mindset of abundance. Don't live like a victim.

For me, when I heard Orrin Woodward make the statement, "Either you hate changing enough to lose or you hate losing enough to change" I knew it was time to close the door to my bad decisions and take complete ownership of the results.

Here are a couple of ideas that can help you once the decision to take ownership begins to effect not only your head, but effects your heart:

1.Define what you want.

This principle is vital. Physically take out a piece of paper and write down a list of what you want in your life. If it is "nice house" then that is fine. Put something down on paper -- make it 10-20 different things that you want to see different in your life.

The entire list does not need to be material items, although they are not bad to write down. If Self- Confidence is something you want, write it down on the list! You get the point.

The discipline of writing it down is important to the "Defining" process.

Once you've written your list down, turn the list into a list of statements or "affirmations".

For example, if you have the words "self confidence" on your list, to write it down as an affirmation it would look something like this: "I have self-confidence and everything I do brings about a perfect end result." If you have the words, "New House" write it as an affirmation to look something like this: "I have a new house and everything I do brings about a perfect end result." This second step of the "Defining" process is very important to programming your mind.

Finally to ensure that the things you have defined in your heart move successfully into your head it is important to read this list every single day. Every single day. Not every other day, but every single day.

I would argue that once you read your list 8 days in a row that you will begin to experience what Napoleon Hill calls a "burning desire" at that point you have begun to not only FEEL what you need to change, but you can now KNOW deeper what you need to change.

You'll see it happen -- books will become more attractive. You'll ask better questions. You'll be more picky with who you talk to -- this will successfully lead you into the second step of this process: LEARN

2. Learn from someone with the results you have defined.

Now that you have clearly defined what you want and what you want has now effected your head and heart you must fuel that hunger that has been created with better information.

Have you heard the statement, "You will be the average of the five people that you hang around the most."?

At this stage in the process, you will need to make a list of the five people that you get financial advice, relationship advice, career advice, business advice, any kind of advice and first check their ACTUAL results then if they don't have the results in THAT area of their life that you want, then you need to cross them off of your list.

This does not imply that you need to be rude or disrespectful to them and it definitely does not mean to sacrifice the friendship that you have developed with that person. It merely means that you need to make a decision that "This person is no longer qualified to offer me advice in this area of my life!" This can be difficult because you may find that one of the people you need to cross off of that list are your parents. It was for me.

My dad is highly qualified to give me advice about many areas of my life, but one area of my life he is not qualified to give me advice. I do not think less of my dad as a man because he doesn't have the results I want in that particular area, I merely don't go to him and ask him for his advice about that specific area of my life.

Learning from those that have the results you want also includes making sure you are reading books and listening to audios and attending seminars and events where successful people tend to go. You never know who you will run into at those events -- but it is assured that you will find that if you are clearly defined in your purpose and the results you want that you will most assuredly attract that mentor to you that has the results you want.

Then as soon as you learn something, you MUST act IMMEDIATELY. This leads us to the final piece of this puzzle: DO.

3. Do what it is that you want to do NOW!

The key word that seems to define success is the word "NOW" or "IMMEDIATELY". My good friend Clif says "Make the decision and then manage the details." It it important that you apply what you are learning. Don't wait to apply it. Entrepreneurs are willing to make as many mistakes as possible as fast as possible. Someone else ahead of you made mistakes, learn from their mistakes and make a change right away.

This process of Define - Learn - Do must be done in this order. It is how you "Begin with the end in Mind." Trust the process and you will find that the results you want will come!

Go live the best life you've ever lived on purpose! And the best part about it all is the results will be YOUR fault! When you win it'll be your fault! When you fall, it'll be your fault you got back up! How exciting!