The Key to Human Interaction

If there’s one key to effective interaction with other human beings, it’s simply this… “ask good questions."

Believe it or not, asking questions increases your “likeability”.  In other words, if you ask good questions, people you ask them to like you more (Psychological Science 7/14/17).

I’ve found this works extremely well in almost any situation.  

In recruiting, we are very question-driven.  From understanding the client’s needs, to asking the candidate about how they fit those needs, questions are the basis for much our business. 

If you are on a date, if you ask your date lots of questions, they get to talk about themselves and they feel like you are truly interested in them and they like you. 

If one of your direct reports comes to you wanting an answer to a problem, you can usually ask questions until they discover the solution.  At a minimum, you should ask them what they think the solution is.  Giving them an answer without any questions develops a pattern of them coming to you to solve every single problem for them. If you help them discover the solution through questions, not only does it solve the problem, it improves their problem-solving ability, and shows that you care enough about them to help them think through the issue. 

If you are in an interview for a job, the best candidates asking good questions.  Ask why the interviewer likes working there.  Ask about why their background made them a good fit.   Not only does the person interviewing you feel like you are interested in t he job, but they feel like you are interested in them.   I can’t tell you how many people have been cut loose from the interview process with the feedback “that person didn’t seem interested…they didn’t ask a single question.  We’ll pass.”

In sales, the entire process should be question-based.  Only when you discover the prospects pain (true needs) can you fully solve their problem.  Most people aren’t going to tell you all of the details without being asked.  When a sales pro asks questions that get to the heart of a company’s problems, then states the problems back to them, the sale is 50% made.  And offering a solution without understanding the problem is “sales malpractice." 

Let me ad one caveat…when you ask questions, you have to listen intently, with a purpose.  Asking a question, then staring off into space or looking disinterested won’t help at all.  Caring about the answer matters.  If you ask questions in rapid-fire succession, and talk over the other person before they have finished answering the last question, it defeats the purpose. 

In summary, asking good questions, and listening with intent are the keys to learning, selling, interviewing, dating, recruiting, managing, and pretty much all human interaction.  

Good questions make you more likeable, more interesting, more charming, and more effective. 

So if that’s of interest…make sure you are asking good questions.

Happy Hunting!

Ed Keil

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Ed Keil is “The Plastics Recruiter?”.  Ed’s company employs 10 recruiters and researchers who  have placed thousands of people in over 600 of the best plastics companies in the industry.  Ed posts daily on Linkedin, Facebook, and Instagram, and is a great resource for “everything recruiting”.  Ed helps his clients Attract, Land, and Retain the best and the brightest in the industry.  He would love it if you’d follow him and give feedback on his posts.