The Key Difference Between an Expert and a Know-It-All

True experts are in demand. They have plenty of opportunities to use their skills and knowledge to great effect. There's a sense of calm about them, because they understand the world around them... or at least a slice of it.

Know-it-alls are insecure. They fight for attention. When there is a lull in the action, they try to fill it. "Listen to me!" they shout figuratively and literally. "I'm so smart."

But beware. Their true motivation is not to help you. Their intense behavior is caused by some sort of hole deep inside them that they are trying to fill.

There are, of course, degrees of variation on both sides of these definitions. Some people are sort of experts, or perhaps more fairly, are on the path to being an expert. Other well-meaning folks occasionally stray into know-it-all territory.

Many entrepreneurs, for example, have difficultly loosening the reins to empower their employees and grant them true freedom. Instead, they try to solve every problem themselves and become addicted to "saving the day".

Let's make things crystal clear...

Expert = good

Know-it-all = bad

One highly effective way to avoid behaving like a know-it-all is to share your journey, rather than your "wisdom". Journeys are filled with ups and downs. Sometimes you power up the mountain, and other times you trip 30 minutes into your hike and have to turn around.

One summer day at Snowbird ski resort, my son and I took our mountain bikes up the tram to the 11,000' peak. About 500' feet down, my tires skidded on loose shale piled on top of loose shale.

Loose shale is sharp.

I went down hard, bloodied my legs and lost my confidence. That was followed by an afternoon of slowing down my son and feeling pretty badly about myself.

Did you see what I did there? I told you a story about when I screwed up. There's no moral, no demonstration of why I am smarter or more capable than you. To the contrary, it's a tale of my bad judgment (I could have walked my bike over the shale) and feeble riding skills (my son rode over the loose rocks, no problem).

That's being honest about your journey.

Know-it-alls aren't going to tell you about the gaps in their knowledge and/or expertise. So... if you find yourself sharing only stories and lessons that make you look good... you might just be behaving like a know-it-all.

One last caveat: my description of the differences between these two ways of moving through the world... might be wrong. It's up to you, not me, to decide. The fact that I write this newsletter and you read it doesn't mean that everything I type is correct, so if you disagree or think I missed something important, please say so.

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Please forward this newsletter to everyone you know who is ready to move past ego and find a truly fulfilling life. They can subscribe here.

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My executive coaching practice is called Selflss. You can find more of my writings at Kasanoff.com. I am the founder of Meditate for Peace.