KEEPING YOUR EGO IN CHECK

It’s time again to reflect about how far you are from your goals and determine what your New Year’s resolutions will be!

Writing them down is of paramount importance as it sets you on the right track to becoming and achieving these goals. ?It helps you in identifying what is important to you, clearing your mind and focusing on who you want to become.

It is an opportunity to get things right. When we set New Year's resolutions, we are applying a very important concept called self-efficacy, meaning, I have a sense of control over what's happening in my life or at least I am trying.

One important aspect to consider is how to control your EGO.

Ego is very important as it assists us to build confidence. ?But when it is taken too far, one become overconfident and careless of others' guidance or opinions– at the end, too much ego can destroy us.

According to psychologists, if we don't have an ego, we would become mentally ill. ?We need it to mediate between the unconscious and the conscious state of being.?Your relationship with your ego determines whether it is your enemy or ally. ?

Here are seven suggestions on how to control your ego so as not to become your enemy:

A)????Stop getting offended and taking it personal: Taking offense because of what someone else says or does is a choice.?It can have intense effects on your mental well-being and sense of self-worth. ?This tendency to take offense by some will also lead to conflict with others. Remember, your ego is working to convince you that the world should be how you look at it and the way you wanted it to be.?This is never the case and it is not clever thinking or believing that.

B)????You are not your reputation: Always worry about your character NOT your reputation. ?Your character is who you are and your reputation is who people think you are -- quote by John Wooden.

C)????Be humble: Stay focused on your growth and always help others. ?Stop pretending to be superior and better than others, be better that you used to be. ?An admirable quote by Osho is: “Nobody is superior, nobody is inferior, but nobody is equal either. People are simply unique, incomparable. You are you, I am I.”

?D)????Know when to stop: ?Not knowing when to stop is the cause of many failures. ?Your ego always wants more, it can never be gratified, it is always hungry and will push you to acquire more. ?Here are two important characters who did not know when to stop: a.?????Napoleon Bonaparte did not know when to stop and that led to his military defeat.

b.?????Margaret Thatcher did not know when to stop and that led to her political defeat.

E)????Recognize that acceptance is not equal to weakness: ?You cannot be right all the time. ?Your ego is the source of a lot of conflicts because you want to be right every time all the way. ?Accept that you will never be able to change every opinion you disagree with.?Instead, prioritize kindness and compassion over feelings and ego. ?Look for an opportunity to change your opinion.

F)?????Winning all the time: ?Accept the fact that you cannot win all the time. ?Your ego loves to convince you that the world is divided into winners and losers but this is not true.?It is impossible to win all the time. It is important to let go and choose your battles. ?There will always be smarter, faster and more innovative people around you and this does not make you a loser. ?Do not let your ego make you feel worthless.

G)????Sometimes you have to let go of control: ?You will feel instant relief if you let go of control. ?Unfortunately, your ego always wants to come first. ?You need to become its commander in order to succeed in life. ?Lao Tzu cited: “To hold, you must first open your hand. Let Go.”

Ego seeks to control, divide and separate while Life seeks to unite and restore. ?        

Please do not let your ego take control of your life. I highly recommend reading the following article: The Biggest Challenge to Growing as a Leader Is Ego.

As Deepak Chopra said: “If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue. ?Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved and the need to judge. Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time. ?It is very important to be aware of them every time they come up”.

I urge you to take the time to reflect about this matter and see how you can apply it in your new years’ resolution for 2023. ?Believe me, your quality of life will be better!

Once again, the choice is Yours!